5 Ways to Ruin a Perfectly Good Twitter Relationship

Have any of your thoughts changed in the past year, Danny?
.-= Ari Herzog´s most recent blog post ...Showcase Sunday: Satisfying Videos to Watch =-.

I'm just starting to figure out how to use Twitter effectively and have fun with it and really appreciated your blogpost!

Today, there're even more stuff to feel annoyed about: people that think twitter is a new money opportunity and spoil our feeds with affiliate offers.But hey, social media is still a numbers game for the majority of users. It's all about the number of followers/friends. Until that change and people give focus on stronger relationships instead of quantity.

Hey Danny

Great info about twitter tabus. I think people do not understand the concept of engaging, interacting and that purpose of twitter is to create two way message. not one way.
I think people do too much advertising and not interacting and they wonder why nobody responds.. Hello...

I love your suggestion about open conversation.. Very good!

Thank you

Tatyana

My #1? The endless "what I ate for dinner" tweets. If you have nothing to say, then don't post. Do you call your "real world" friends every 15 minutes to tell them you just ate an orange, or you just cleaned the cat box, or you're about to go to sleep? I don't think so! So, why post it in Twitter to people you've never met? Why would they care more than your real-time friends? News Flash: they don't.

And, probably along the line of "continuing personal conversations", just saw 10 posts from the same person saying "@someone Thank you." No one else knows what he's thanking them for. So what value is there in making his gratitude public?

I've just joined Twitter a few weeks ago and still don't see value in it. I've found a few resources, but I'd find them anyway if I did a search. I'll probably delete my account in another week, it is a timewaster.

Thank you for this article. I'm a total newbie and will openly admit that I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to social netwoking. I got the hang of facebook, i guess, but Twitter is still a bit of a mystery. I've found some really interesting people to follow through it, and some links to great posts like this one, but I still don't really get how to become a part of the tworld. How do you find followers when you're just starting out? That's the one thing that I really haven't figured out the answer to... I mean just because I follow someone that I find interesting, and they have 1000's of followers, they don't even know that I exist... and I can't get involved in the conversation, even if I have something to add, unless they're following me.... so that's where I'm really getting a bit lost, lol...

Anyway, once I do have followers, now I know what would annoy them ;-) so thank you very much for that!

Can you add "Sports Play by Plays" to your list?

If I wanted to know anything about the game, I'd be watching it. I don't need 81923749823423 tweets from a user letting me know how the World Series is going.

Hi there -
Thank you for your insights here.
I have been on Twitter for a week. I have found some great resources (including your blog) but have also seen users with a style of tweeting I don't enjoy and would not want to imitate. .
I am trying really hard to learn the right way to use the forum, both for my benefit and to add value to the community. As a total newbie, I wonder "Am I supposed to DM each new follower and thank them?" "Should I just tweet links to my blog, my products, my store?"
"What do I have to say that will add value?" "Exactly how do I collect quality followers?" "What is correct etiquette for RT, DM, and what the heck does # mean?"
I realize I have to work these things out for myself. I am thankful for sites like yours with guidance and advice.
All the best - Hilary

Thanks for your insight on this particular subject. Seeing that I am fairly new to twitter this was extremely helpful. It may be reevaluate what I do and what I say on the sight. I liked the idea of connecting with others of like intrest and seeing what people were saying but I realize that I have been one to communicate annoying tweets from time to time. This has helped me to be more resourcefull and strategic in what I do on twitter and my other social networking sites. I look forward to starting my new journey on twitter to not only fill my followers in on exciting things in my life but also connecting them to other intresting topics and great articals that others are putting out there.

I guess I said all that to say, I don't want to be selfish in my attempt at twitter. Thanks a lot for your insight.

Found my head nodding as I read this post and the associated comments. One small pet peeve I'd like to add is the sheer number of self-proclaimed "social media experts" on Twitter. I'd imagine there are literally dozens of honest-to-god SM experts in the Twitterverse, but most of the folks who claim to be SM experts aren't anywhere close from what I can see. Having a blog and a twitter account does not an expert make (at least not in my book).

Everyone has aspirations, but if there's one thing we should have learned from George Bush's time in office, it's: don't claim "Mission Accomplished" if you've only just started.

Hi Danny- appreciate your insights, I'm new to the social media world-fun to learn along the way! :) Holly

The dicey part is deciding when a simple question/answer format, or chiming in on something turns into a conversation. Maybe it's valuable to invite many into the conversation.

The art is in forming messages that invite others in, and knowing when to use DM to take the conversation out of the main conversation.

After all, Twitter is one, big conversation.

I just wanted to let you know I think it's great how you answered virtually every person who commented on your post!

And, I agree with all the comments about annoying twitterers, even though I'm a novice at social networking - I especially don't like the cussing in writing or the thank you DMs with a sales pitch.

Mrs. MoneyMerge´s last blog post..To Pay Off or Not To Pay Off Your Mortgage - a question on many people’s minds

I like what Scott Scotch had to say: "I think it really comes down to balance" . I think that no one type of posting should really permeate all of your postings. A little bit of self-promo, some pointing to (other's) good blogs or articles, a quick political comment and a once-in-while hey, look what I am doing, keeps it interesting and fast paced.

And then, as was stated above, the great control we have is to UNfollow.

http://twitter.com/ChelleCordero

Chelle Cordero´s last blog post..Creative Writing Workshop

I thought the " rules" as far as Twitter is concerned are "there ARE no rules." At least that's what the Handbook says (I think). It's very much each to his/her own. The minute people try and slap on their own rules on everyone else it becomes a completely different experience. I've discovered very interesting thoughts, trends, blogs and opinions on Twitter and met very interesting people. It's only because of someone tweeting this post that I'm commenting on it. (And by the way, white on black is very hard on the eyes).

I presume that those using it for what we might call "shameless self promotion" do it because it works for them AND their followers. At least one of the things Twitter is said to be beneficial for is as a way to market and promote yourself.

I too would prefer not to have overkill on promotional stuff, but I know I have the choice to "unfollow" folk if it gets to me. So far, that's not the reason I've unfollowed or blocked - but have unfollowed from the spam bots, or, if it turns out that I've actually nothing in common with someone I followed.

When I have a new blog post I will generally tweet it and if I find stuff that I think is interesting I'll both Tweet and check it out. I find interesting people all the time.

I'm often so busy it's hard to keep up with finding and sharing. That's just the way it is. I'm not interested in 1,000's of followers and have learned to tune out the "I have a twitter grade of 500" or "I've just reached my 20,oooth follower" because I really don't care. I could wish it was "only this" or "only that" but as long as the unfollow button is there I consider I have the power on that one :)

I think with Twitter right now you set your own rules and let others set theirs...'cos there's always the chance that one person's rules won't work for the next.

Nicky Jameson´s last blog post..13 Ways To Build Trust and Community With Social Media

Man, did you third point hit a nerve with me. Yesterday two people followed me, I checked them out and they looked interesting so I followed them back, and then both of them sent me sales links. I un-followed them immediately. I'm not quite sure how I feel about people sending me links to their websites and asking me to visit them, especially since that's a part of how I decide if I want to follow someone or not, but thus far I've just ignored those messages.

Mitch´s last blog post..Curious About Your Backlinks?

Hi Chris,

Sorry for any confusion - the reply was sincere. :)

With regards a Twitter spammer, while you do need to follow someone to read their Tweets, generally you don't really know what they're like until you have been following them. Yes, you can read their previous Tweets, but many people don't take the time to do that.

That's when the problems can begin - all of a sudden your Twitter stream is filled with self-promoting Tweets, re-Tweets taking you to affiliate links, Direct Messages to sign up to newsletters, etc...

Additionally, someone can't Direct Message you until you follow them. By waiting until they are followed and then sending you an invite to sign up for their newsletter, blog posts, sales pitches, etc, makes them the worst kind of spammer.

Thanks for stopping by again, good to have you here. :)

Not sure if the reply to my comment about the colors being hard to read was meant as sarcastic or sincere, but my comment was sincere.

Anyway, what exactly is a Twitter spammer, considering that you have to follow someone to read their stuff? If you chose to follow them, how can their posts be spam?

Thank you, Robin, and good to have you here. :)

This is the main "problem" with social media on the whole, I feel. It is still a new medium (although it's been around in many guises for a few years) that we're all still learning together.

Yet the way I look at it is that people generally take their offline persona into the digital one. Usually this is fine - yet you will always have various people offline who are mean, vindictive, selfish - the list goes on.

I'm not saying that Twitter spammers fall into any of these descriptions necessarily, but at the same time they may be the same ones that would call you incessantly about double-glazing! :)

The great equalizer as far as Twitter goes is that the power is always in your hands - if you don't like what someone has to say, simply un-follow or block them. That allows you to maintain the audience you actually want to connect with.

Thanks for reading and sharing your view, and hope to see you around here more. :)

Hello Danny, just delighted to find you through a new friend at stumbleupon.,and agree with all the points you make in your post.
As a newbie to social media it certainly is confusing to know what the correct etiquette might be, which is where lurking comes into it's own! However you can lurk forever and never really learn how the site works unless you take the audacious step and get stuck in.
It became clear to me rather quickly that there were many different types of user on Twitter, including a great swathe of spammers , although most in this group would be horrified to be described thus!
The most annoying group to my way of thinking, are the ones who post a page of tweets that welcome all new followers. Does anyone care who is following you? if all you are concerned about is numbers!
I have met some fantastic people on Twitter including many from whom I have purchased products and it's a joy to follow them . Not really interested in the type that Follows 1850 has 300 followers and 4 tweets and no website url!

Keep up the good work and Thank You to Chris who commented above.

Danny, thanks for your thoughtful conversation here and comment on my blog.

Re: your post -- I'd add users who Tweet "too much" (subjective). I'm going to try following you but am concerned when I see a "nuclear fallout cost," (try the URL).

http://followcost.com/PressReleasePR

Re: my post -- I'm with you on not putting too much weight on the Twitter-user lists. *However,* as a recipient of the "Top 50 Tweeples to Follow" nod, I've met more than 100 users I likely otherwise would not have met who found me on @PRSarahEvans list. It worked out nicely for me.

I see it as a third-party endorsement and another way to raise brand awareness (in this case the "Joe Hage brand"), nothing more.

Thanks for the conversation!
Joe Hage

JoeHageOnline.com´s last blog post..A Twitter dilemma: To follow or not to follow

Danny,

First time visitor to your site - and agree with your points - they are right on! The other piece I find of no value is when a user consistently updates via txt or a feed - it is merely a one-way relationship.

Cheers!

@jjbuss´s last blog post..Sarah Palin vs. CareerBuilder on Facebook

I think it's definitely a learning curve for Twitter, Steve. The main thing is that, as you mention, people find their groove - if they still feel the need to constantly self-promote and offer no real value, then fair enough, there's always going to be people like that. And, there will always be people that follow this approach.

It's just not for me, and judging by the comments here, it's not for the majority of Twitter users either. That's the great thing about social media - we seem to be moving away from "me, me, me" to "we, we, we" and this will work its way across the different social media platforms.

Thanks for reading and commenting (and most definitely thanks for the mustache love!) :)

Yikes. I've been using twitter mainly to post my latest posts and to make an occasional comment about your mustache for Movember. In general, I've started unfollowing those people who chat non stop. Personally, I still haven't found my groove on Twitter but I imagine that I will with time.

Hi Mike,

Thanks for the compliment, I really appreciate that and glad the post "hit home". :)

I guess this is the problem of something going through its teething stages - although maybe not, since MySpace is still getting hit hard with the "teenage girls in bikini friends". Hopefully, as you say, Twitter will outgrow this malaise.

I must admit, it makes me wonder what the offline persona's of these people are like. Are they as forceful offline in a stereotypical marketing/advertiser/PR kind of way, or are they fairly shy and simply using Twitter (and similar) to be more vocal? Who knows?

As you mention, the great equalizer is that we ARE in control of the noise, both incoming and outgoing. The outgoing noise we should respect - the incoming noise we should expect, and deal with accordingly.

Thanks for reading and sharing your view, appreciated.

Danny,

You've created a great set of guidelines for how to be a star Twitter user. By keeping things conversational, sharing good content you come across and generally being aware that other people have to read what you are saying (if they choose to follow you), you ought to keep most users on Twitter happy.

However, when things go awry and the tool becomes your self-promotion platform plus your main line of conversation with others, things can go sour very fast.

I love the argument Louis Gray made recently that basically says we are in control of the noise we see on Twitter and in social media. It's very easy to hit the 'unfollow' or 'block' buttons, and I also applaud the Twitter team for giving us those abilities.

The hardest part about all of this is that even with great blog posts and 'do not' lists like this, we'll still see users disobeying the unwritten rules and scaring off more of the core Twitter users. I'd love to see those types of users forget about Twitter and move on to the next big thing, but chances are they will only keep growing in numbers as time goes by.

@ witchypoo. Thanks for stopping by, and taking the time to read and comment - always appreciated. I look forward to seeing you around in the comments section. :)

@ Lizz. Funnily enough, it was actually your experiences with that PR user that nudged me in the direction of this post. I'd been debating for a while whether to run with Twitter annoyances or not, and yours (and a few others) experiences made up my mind. The third point is definitely one of the more annoying peeves - a sales pitch is all well and good, but keep it for the right place and the right time. Your own blog, for example, or a landing page...

@ Brent. That is one of the biggest saving graces on Twitter, I believe - the personal choice. Without the option to unfollow or block, I feel the service could get really bad for spammers. Thankfully, while the power is in our own hands to control who and what we follow, then Twitter will remain a great place to meet interesting and knowledgeable people. :)

@ Bernie. Good to have you on Twitter, Bernie. :) I think most people are sensible - the ones that spam or use it annoyingly are probably the same ones that would send you generic emails about how they made $10,000 in 3 minutes using a 2-minute egg timer... ;-)

Thanks for reading and sharing your view, guys, I appreciate your time. :)

Danny:
I'm really new at Twittering. But I've read alot about what it is and what is isn't. I agree with you on your 5 points. I appreciate relevant info that is useful and not merely self promoting.

I recently unfollowed someone for their sudden interest in using 4 letter words and someone else that just kept sending shameless self promotion, but overall, most I follow are pretty interesting and worth the time. People who send out rapid fire posts can be a little annoying too - where there's something like 10 per minute - that is just too much.

Brent Haeseker´s last blog post..Mild Mannered Consultant by Day - Slightly Less Mild Mannered Consultant by Night

As you can imagine, Danny, I wholeheartedly agree and appreciate your putting out there in a blog what so many of us think to ourselves. Your third bullet point is the one that gets me the most I think... I JUST followed you because for some reason you seemed like you'd be interesting to me, and you turn around and auto-reply to me with a sales pitch? I don't think so!

Great job, as always. I appreciate your service to the online community.

Be well, my friend.

Thanks, Kimberly. I agree that carrying out the points I mentioned (and I'm sure everyone has their own to add!) is a quick way for me to unfollow a user.

Perhaps some people don't realize that their use of Twitter can be annoying - after all, I guess there are no ground rules on how to use social media. Then again, who am I to say what's annoying and what's not? ;-)

As you say, there will always be two camps in social media (and this is probably true of a great many things). One will invariably be right while the other won't - which one is which will depend on your point of view. :)

I don't think you have any reason to think you're wrong. It's your opinion that those particular activities can be annoying on twitter and I agree with many of your points here. Typically, if someone persists with the types of tweeting behavior that you've described then I'll unfollow them or just won't follow them in the first place. But that's the beauty of social media/networking- we have the choice of who, what and how we choose to interact with people. Those who are successful in using social media are the ones who figure out the "correct" or acceptable etiquette as a means to convey their thoughts, messages or for creating actual relationships/connections. Those who fail to understand that about social media are the ones that we ultimately find annoying or just plain "noisy" and their use of social media in the first place becomes futile.

Just my two cents.

Kimberly@jkvirtualoffice

www.jkvirtualoffice.com/blog

@ The Lovable Rogue. 100% with you on that one, Chris. I have eyes - I can see how many followers you have. As Michael mentioned in his comment, it's better to have 500 followers offering something worthwhile as opposed to 5,000 followers just making up some popularity contest numbers. And you're right - your brand can be affected with this type of promotion.

@ Barb Chamberlain. Some great points you make here, Barb. I read that post by Susan Murphy - she's one of the bloggers I tend to read quite a bit as she always has something interesting to say. The example you use of the Twitter user who wouldn't follow you because you couldn't possibly be worth following due to lack of numbers? Probably better off without him/her.

That's an interesting premise you raise regarding the sociological and linguistic study - I for one would be very interested in reading such a study. It's true - share with others and they'll be quick to share with you as well. And at the end of the day, isn't that how we all learn and grow?

@ Julie. Yes, I knew I forgot one of the better ones! :) Mentioning your current food choice or latte isn't always the most stimulating of conversation pieces. Unless you want to recommend I try a certain brand..? ;-)

Thanks for reading and commenting guys, always appreciated.

You are so right! I'd add Mundane Posts - tweeting things like I'm eating meatloaf (which by the way I am, but who would be interested?)

juliemarg´s last blog post..Elephant and Castle - Dublin, Ireland

This is one I'll share with people I know are new to Twitter. I'd love to DM it to some of the obnoxious follow-everybody self-promoters too, but that would mean I'd have to follow them & I don't want to encourage them.

SuzeMuz had a post that mentions the quality/quantity issue as well, at http://suzemuse.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/the-secret-to-success-in-social-media/. I commented there on my experience of having someone criticize me for not having enough Twitter followers to be worth listening to. Wow, good thing my self-esteem doesn't reside in my computer screen. :D

Personally, I'm not on Twitter for direct promotional purposes. I got on to check it out as a potential tool to incorporate into the communications work I head up for Washington State University Spokane (@WSUSpokane), then got hooked (or got ADD--take your pick).

I'm so glad I did it as a private individual to start getting some idea of the culture, although it feels as if it's moving so fast that whatever is recommended as a best practice today will be the sign of a newbie in a week or so. It would be a fascinating sociological and linguistic study to track the emerging and changing norms.

The "selfish shouts" go right over my head because of the nature of Twitter. I scan the stream, click on a few links that look interesting, and my browser launches a bunch of new windows. I'd have no way of realizing that someone pointed me to a post that mentions him/her directly unless I paid a lot more attention to how I got there in the first place.

I did very quickly form opinions of who was tweeting links to great stuff that wasn't all just their own--@Chris Brogan, @kanter, and others. I'd better go figure out who tweeted the link to this... oh yeah, it was @PressReleasePR. I think that generosity pays off. Twitter: Just another chance to affect your karmic balance.

@BarbChamberlain

Barb Chamberlain´s last blog post..Getting older, or, it’s not fair but nobody said it would be

There's nothing more frustrating than those whose tweets follow the lines of:

'I have 500 followers!', 'I have 600 followers!', 'I have 700 followers'....

You know what? I don't care how many followers you have! Trust me, if you solely post tweets detailing the number of followers you have, you will offer no value to those following you. I consider one of the most valuable aspects of Twitter to be the information you get from those you follow. If you increasingly alienate your followers, they will invariably stop following... This may actually damage your brand equity as a further corollary.

The Lovable Rogue´s last blog post..The Social Media: Are You Open to Interpretation?

Completely agree with you Danny. There are users that feel it's a competition to gain the most amount of followers. That's exactly what Twitter is NOT about. Using the age old saying "It's about quality not quantity" is particularly apt in this case. I like to build a rapport with my followers instead of just playing a numbers game. If I have 500 users who offer value I see that as much more benificial than having 5000 of which I know a handful of names.

For the people that tweet purely about their product or service constantly I choose to unfollow and it's out of sight out of mind. If I write a blog post I'll tweet about it once and once only. People who want to find it, will.

Thoughts?

Michael Litman´s last blog post..More about that thing called Social Media..

Wow Danny great article!.I agree with everything you said. I think I am guilty of DM spam. I have a script that auto DM's a user after they follow me. Well might take it off soon, but great read. I'm gonna send it to a few friends that are doing the same.

Have any of your thoughts changed in the past year, Danny?
.-= Ari Herzogu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...Showcase Sunday: Satisfying Videos to Watch =-.