Clouding The Issue

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How well do you keep your personal and business life separate? Are you able to separate the two relatively easy, or do they crossover too much to have significantly different views? Or to put it another way, if you had a personal issue with someone could you still work with them professionally?

I ask this as a situation arose today where I had to question whether I was in the wrong, someone else was, or was there even any wrong to start with. Okay, that sounded confusing – let me try again.

For anyone’s that’s been reading this blog or following me on Twitter for the last month or so, you’ll know that I founded a charity project for 2009, the 12for12k Challenge. While ambitious in its fund-raising aim, it’s also (to me) achievable, thanks to the way that myself and the partners that have joined me in the challenge are leveraging social media to raise funds.

Everyone involved in the project is giving their time for free – there’s no admin cost and any man (or woman) hours put in is on top of normal work and personal time. I don’t say this to make us sound like saints, although personally I’ll never be able to thank these people enough for the help they’re giving.

Rather, I say it to show that when it’s a good cause, people generally come out in force to help in whatever way they can. It’s called selflessness and it also goes to you kind people that are donating to each month’s chosen charity.

So today stunned me a little.

One of the hardest things with the 12for12k project (and, I’m sure, other non-profit causes) is raising awareness. Hitting people at the right time, driving traffic to the website for details, getting the word out – it’s not easy. Also, because of the economy and time of year, donations are a little slow at the minute. Which we always knew might happen – January is a tough month for countless charities.

To try and raise awareness, my partners and I are reaching out to our social media connections to ask if they’d help promote to their followers on Twitter. Or write a short blog post. Or record a video message for us, much like Jason Falls did. So far, everyone we spoke to has been brilliant – if they can’t do it right away, it’s definitely on the immediate future agenda.

Everyone apart from one.

Open and Shut Case.

One of the creative partners on the 12for12k team emailed a particular social media “power player” and asked if they’d be open to any of the above promotional suggestions. The response was, “No – I have an issue with someone on the team.”

Uh – run that by me again?

Now, unfortunately, I don’t know what the issue is or who it’s with since no further information was forthcoming, but I’m a little surprised and maybe just a tad disappointed.

This person prides themself on how open and helpful they are to other people, and helping others to attain the goals they set out to reach. Their blog has an excellent and loyal readership and their Twitter account is close to 20,000 followers.

So this is why I’m left scratching my head. I can’t see any issue this person would have with one of our team that they would put it above trying to change the lives of millions of people. I put the question out to Twitter, about personal issues clouding professional ones, and with few exceptions the answer was pretty unanimous – be professional, work around the issue and get the best results.

Of course, if it’s an ethical problem that this person has with either me or one of my partners, then I can understand their point of view. Ethics play a very large part in my personal and professional make-up, so I do understand.

Yet knowing the partners like I do, I just don’t see where an ethical issue could come into play. Which means it must be me, for some reason. Hopefully the person involved will respond to my email asking what the issue is and can it be resolved.

I know there will always be reasons for not liking someone, personally or professionally. I know there are times when you don’t want to work with someone. Yet for all these times, surely the greater good of a project should see you able to overcome personal feelings and get a professional job done.

Or is that asking too much? How about you – can issues be overcome or are the clouds too dense?

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About Danny

Danny Brown is Chief Technologist at ArCompany and an award-winning marketer and blogger. His blog is recognized as the #1 marketing blog in the world by HubSpot. Danny is also co-author of Influence Marketing: How to Create, Manage and Measure Brand Influencers in Social Media Marketing.

42 comments
Mitch
Mitch

Interesting post, Danny. Though it hasn't happened to me, I think that I might end up in the petty category if it came down to voluntarily working with someone I didn't respect in some fashion. Now, if it was at work, and we both worked at the same place, that's different, because work is work, and I don't deal with things like that at work, but when it crosses into my personal time, or my money,... I just might be the same way. Or I might not; it's interesting, in a way, that this person knows someone on your team and has a problem with them. If it were me in your spot, I might just have to probe to see what's up, because, well, maybe there is something about that person that I didn't know. And if that's not the case, well, then I'd just move on to the next person. After all, volunteering IS a volunteer thing, right?

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

Fair point, Mitch, and I'd agree with it to a degree. Though I think the fact that the person hasn't responded to direct contact says a lot as well. I have a feeling I know what the reason is, and if it turns out to be so, it's incredibly petty. However, like you say, volunteering is a volunteer thing which is what 12for12k has been right from the start. People volunteering their time for nothing; people volunteering suggestions for charities to support; and the choice whether you want to support a particular month's charity or not. Maybe I'm just supporting the guys I have around me - nothing wrong with that, right? ;-) Thanks for sharing your view, appreciate it.

Mitch
Mitch

Interesting post, Danny. Though it hasn't happened to me, I think that I might end up in the petty category if it came down to voluntarily working with someone I didn't respect in some fashion. Now, if it was at work, and we both worked at the same place, that's different, because work is work, and I don't deal with things like that at work, but when it crosses into my personal time, or my money,... I just might be the same way.

Or I might not; it's interesting, in a way, that this person knows someone on your team and has a problem with them. If it were me in your spot, I might just have to probe to see what's up, because, well, maybe there is something about that person that I didn't know. And if that's not the case, well, then I'd just move on to the next person. After all, volunteering IS a volunteer thing, right?

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

Fair point, Mitch, and I'd agree with it to a degree. Though I think the fact that the person hasn't responded to direct contact says a lot as well. I have a feeling I know what the reason is, and if it turns out to be so, it's incredibly petty.

However, like you say, volunteering is a volunteer thing which is what 12for12k has been right from the start. People volunteering their time for nothing; people volunteering suggestions for charities to support; and the choice whether you want to support a particular month's charity or not.

Maybe I'm just supporting the guys I have around me - nothing wrong with that, right? ;-)

Thanks for sharing your view, appreciate it.

Mitch
Mitch

I'm a loyalty guy, so nope, nothing wrong with that at all.

Mitch
Mitch

Interesting post, Danny. Though it hasn't happened to me, I think that I might end up in the petty category if it came down to voluntarily working with someone I didn't respect in some fashion. Now, if it was at work, and we both worked at the same place, that's different, because work is work, and I don't deal with things like that at work, but when it crosses into my personal time, or my money,... I just might be the same way.

Or I might not; it's interesting, in a way, that this person knows someone on your team and has a problem with them. If it were me in your spot, I might just have to probe to see what's up, because, well, maybe there is something about that person that I didn't know. And if that's not the case, well, then I'd just move on to the next person. After all, volunteering IS a volunteer thing, right?

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

Fair point, Mitch, and I'd agree with it to a degree. Though I think the fact that the person hasn't responded to direct contact says a lot as well. I have a feeling I know what the reason is, and if it turns out to be so, it's incredibly petty.

However, like you say, volunteering is a volunteer thing which is what 12for12k has been right from the start. People volunteering their time for nothing; people volunteering suggestions for charities to support; and the choice whether you want to support a particular month's charity or not.

Maybe I'm just supporting the guys I have around me - nothing wrong with that, right? ;-)

Thanks for sharing your view, appreciate it.

Dyana Valentine
Dyana Valentine

I have two cents to add to Andrew's, which is very well and completely said. It is very important that the energy around your project remain clear, so you can go do the good you want to do. When soliciting support, there really are only three things you are listening for, yes, no, not right now (but check back in with me on x date). And only three responses: thank you, thank you and thank you. There must be room for the three answers to your request and the response is simply required. Don't let this moment derail you.

Move on, keep the vibe high and very best of luck.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

As with Andrew, completely agree with you Dyana.

We've had many people come back and say "No", and that's fine. We know and understand it won't be for everyone. I guess I was just perplexed that an "issue" with people that I know are all fine human beings confused me.

But, 12for12k is for a bigger reason than any of us - and that's the most important thing.

Dyana Valentine
Dyana Valentine

I have two cents to add to Andrew's, which is very well and completely said. It is very important that the energy around your project remain clear, so you can go do the good you want to do. When soliciting support, there really are only three things you are listening for, yes, no, not right now (but check back in with me on x date). And only three responses: thank you, thank you and thank you. There must be room for the three answers to your request and the response is simply required. Don't let this moment derail you.

Move on, keep the vibe high and very best of luck.

Dyana Valentine
Dyana Valentine

great perspective. hang in there and have some FUN today!

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

As with Andrew, completely agree with you Dyana.

We've had many people come back and say "No", and that's fine. We know and understand it won't be for everyone. I guess I was just perplexed that an "issue" with people that I know are all fine human beings confused me.

But, 12for12k is for a bigger reason than any of us - and that's the most important thing.

Dyana Valentine
Dyana Valentine

I have two cents to add to Andrew's, which is very well and completely said. It is very important that the energy around your project remain clear, so you can go do the good you want to do. When soliciting support, there really are only three things you are listening for, yes, no, not right now (but check back in with me on x date). And only three responses: thank you, thank you and thank you. There must be room for the three answers to your request and the response is simply required. Don't let this moment derail you. Move on, keep the vibe high and very best of luck.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

As with Andrew, completely agree with you Dyana. We've had many people come back and say "No", and that's fine. We know and understand it won't be for everyone. I guess I was just perplexed that an "issue" with people that I know are all fine human beings confused me. But, 12for12k is for a bigger reason than any of us - and that's the most important thing.

Dyana Valentine
Dyana Valentine

great perspective. hang in there and have some FUN today!

Suzanne Franco
Suzanne Franco

Great topic Danny! I think it's a shame ... but do keep in mind that not all charitable organizations are as selfless as 12for12k and some might think that there is financial gain for the group members. Now ... don't get me wrong ... I still believe it was a bad decision on their part and I hope it gets resolved. Let's all work even harder to get the word out and reach that goal!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SmiLes* Suzanne

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

I can see that point, which is why we make it clear that all on the team are offering services for free, and that donation links go directly to the charity, there is no middle connection.

Onwards and upwards. :)

Suzanne Franco
Suzanne Franco

Great topic Danny! I think it's a shame ... but do keep in mind that not all charitable organizations are as selfless as 12for12k and some might think that there is financial gain for the group members. Now ... don't get me wrong ... I still believe it was a bad decision on their part and I hope it gets resolved. Let's all work even harder to get the word out and reach that goal!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SmiLes* Suzanne

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

I can see that point, which is why we make it clear that all on the team are offering services for free, and that donation links go directly to the charity, there is no middle connection.

Onwards and upwards. :)

Suzanne Franco
Suzanne Franco

Great topic Danny! I think it's a shame ... but do keep in mind that not all charitable organizations are as selfless as 12for12k and some might think that there is financial gain for the group members. Now ... don't get me wrong ... I still believe it was a bad decision on their part and I hope it gets resolved. Let's all work even harder to get the word out and reach that goal!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SmiLes* Suzanne

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

I can see that point, which is why we make it clear that all on the team are offering services for free, and that donation links go directly to the charity, there is no middle connection. Onwards and upwards. :)

Jac Star
Jac Star

I think the worst part is that you don't even have to deal with this person directly. Suppose you are the one this person has a problem with, would it be beneath them to post a blog, or tweet, or whatever helps spread the word? Not once does said person even have to mention your name. This is about selflessness. Person could just go on and say "hey everyone, donate to a great cause" and that would be it. It doesn't impact you positively or negatively, and it helps to raise awareness.

I really think that Person should have said "no, i'm heartless" versus "no, i don't like someone on the team"

In this case - the team is the world.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

Thanks Jac - whatever the reason, unless ethical, the person doesn't even have to deal with whoever is causing the problem. In this case, it's innocents that suffer because of it - that's the kicker.

Jac Star
Jac Star

I think the worst part is that you don't even have to deal with this person directly. Suppose you are the one this person has a problem with, would it be beneath them to post a blog, or tweet, or whatever helps spread the word? Not once does said person even have to mention your name. This is about selflessness. Person could just go on and say "hey everyone, donate to a great cause" and that would be it. It doesn't impact you positively or negatively, and it helps to raise awareness.

I really think that Person should have said "no, i'm heartless" versus "no, i don't like someone on the team"

In this case - the team is the world.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

Thanks Jac - whatever the reason, unless ethical, the person doesn't even have to deal with whoever is causing the problem. In this case, it's innocents that suffer because of it - that's the kicker.

Jac Star
Jac Star

I think the worst part is that you don't even have to deal with this person directly. Suppose you are the one this person has a problem with, would it be beneath them to post a blog, or tweet, or whatever helps spread the word? Not once does said person even have to mention your name. This is about selflessness. Person could just go on and say "hey everyone, donate to a great cause" and that would be it. It doesn't impact you positively or negatively, and it helps to raise awareness. I really think that Person should have said "no, i'm heartless" versus "no, i don't like someone on the team" In this case - the team is the world.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

Thanks Jac - whatever the reason, unless ethical, the person doesn't even have to deal with whoever is causing the problem. In this case, it's innocents that suffer because of it - that's the kicker.

Andrew Weaver
Andrew Weaver

I think your line of thinking is spot on. Personal feelings shouldn't (unless it is ethical in nature) get in the way here. Especially since it is a charity we're talking about.

That said, sometimes people cannot separate their personal and business lives. When this happens sometimes it is best to move on without them. I am not sure it is worth pursuing much more than asking for a simple explanation, as it appears you have done with an e-mail. The last thing you want to do is make it personal on your end, even if it is to the other party. Keep it professional and simply move on if it is something they appear to be incapable of dropping for the charity.

That's my 2 cents.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

I agree Andrew. The email has gone and it's up to the person involved whether they want to clarify their views or not - like you say, there are more pressing issues at hand that are far more important.

This blog post is my "vent", if you like - now I'm off to raise some money! :)

Andrew Weaver
Andrew Weaver

I think your line of thinking is spot on. Personal feelings shouldn't (unless it is ethical in nature) get in the way here. Especially since it is a charity we're talking about.

That said, sometimes people cannot separate their personal and business lives. When this happens sometimes it is best to move on without them. I am not sure it is worth pursuing much more than asking for a simple explanation, as it appears you have done with an e-mail. The last thing you want to do is make it personal on your end, even if it is to the other party. Keep it professional and simply move on if it is something they appear to be incapable of dropping for the charity.

That's my 2 cents.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

I agree Andrew. The email has gone and it's up to the person involved whether they want to clarify their views or not - like you say, there are more pressing issues at hand that are far more important.

This blog post is my "vent", if you like - now I'm off to raise some money! :)

Andrew Weaver
Andrew Weaver

I think your line of thinking is spot on. Personal feelings shouldn't (unless it is ethical in nature) get in the way here. Especially since it is a charity we're talking about. That said, sometimes people cannot separate their personal and business lives. When this happens sometimes it is best to move on without them. I am not sure it is worth pursuing much more than asking for a simple explanation, as it appears you have done with an e-mail. The last thing you want to do is make it personal on your end, even if it is to the other party. Keep it professional and simply move on if it is something they appear to be incapable of dropping for the charity. That's my 2 cents.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown

I agree Andrew. The email has gone and it's up to the person involved whether they want to clarify their views or not - like you say, there are more pressing issues at hand that are far more important. This blog post is my "vent", if you like - now I'm off to raise some money! :)

Adam Gainer
Adam Gainer

Sad to hear this about 12 for 12k. I think it's an amazing cause and I'm glad to be a part of it. I'm not quite sure of the specifics but it's hard to believe that someone who has the resources to make a huge impact would react so negatively.

If you have the ability to help others you should always use that. Unfortunately their short sightedness hurts the charities in the long run. While they might not realize this no one gains from their refusal to work with others.

Adam Gainer
Adam Gainer

Sad to hear this about 12 for 12k. I think it's an amazing cause and I'm glad to be a part of it. I'm not quite sure of the specifics but it's hard to believe that someone who has the resources to make a huge impact would react so negatively.

If you have the ability to help others you should always use that. Unfortunately their short sightedness hurts the charities in the long run. While they might not realize this no one gains from their refusal to work with others.

Adam Gainer
Adam Gainer

Sad to hear this about 12 for 12k. I think it's an amazing cause and I'm glad to be a part of it. I'm not quite sure of the specifics but it's hard to believe that someone who has the resources to make a huge impact would react so negatively. If you have the ability to help others you should always use that. Unfortunately their short sightedness hurts the charities in the long run. While they might not realize this no one gains from their refusal to work with others.

Anna Barcelos
Anna Barcelos

Danny, I'm speechless. Bottom line, this is about a charity and helping millions of people all over the world. It's unprofessional for that person to try and make it about them. Please march on and never let anything like this distract you from what you are trying to accomplish here. "Eyes on the prize!"

Anna Barcelos
Anna Barcelos

Danny, I'm speechless. Bottom line, this is about a charity and helping millions of people all over the world. It's unprofessional for that person to try and make it about them. Please march on and never let anything like this distract you from what you are trying to accomplish here. "Eyes on the prize!"

Anna Barcelos
Anna Barcelos

Danny, I'm speechless. Bottom line, this is about a charity and helping millions of people all over the world. It's unprofessional for that person to try and make it about them. Please march on and never let anything like this distract you from what you are trying to accomplish here. "Eyes on the prize!"

Gina LaGuardia
Gina LaGuardia

I agree with you 100%, Danny. I think that the points you set out here, and your initiative to approach this person to try to get to the heart of the matter, is the best route to take. We're all human, so this may be (hopefully) one of those times when someone responded before thinking a statement through fully. Your ideology, thanks to this post, is definitely all on the table, so I would advise you get in front of it even more so by being diligent in your follow up. If this person is as forthright as one would hope an SM rock star would be, I can't imagine there would be an aversion to talking it out. At the end of the day, 12for12k is about helping others, not ourselves. Emotions here may have initially "clouded the issue," but hopefully there will be a silver lining real, real soon.

Gina LaGuardia
Gina LaGuardia

I agree with you 100%, Danny. I think that the points you set out here, and your initiative to approach this person to try to get to the heart of the matter, is the best route to take. We're all human, so this may be (hopefully) one of those times when someone responded before thinking a statement through fully. Your ideology, thanks to this post, is definitely all on the table, so I would advise you get in front of it even more so by being diligent in your follow up. If this person is as forthright as one would hope an SM rock star would be, I can't imagine there would be an aversion to talking it out. At the end of the day, 12for12k is about helping others, not ourselves. Emotions here may have initially "clouded the issue," but hopefully there will be a silver lining real, real soon.

Gina LaGuardia
Gina LaGuardia

I agree with you 100%, Danny. I think that the points you set out here, and your initiative to approach this person to try to get to the heart of the matter, is the best route to take. We're all human, so this may be (hopefully) one of those times when someone responded before thinking a statement through fully. Your ideology, thanks to this post, is definitely all on the table, so I would advise you get in front of it even more so by being diligent in your follow up. If this person is as forthright as one would hope an SM rock star would be, I can't imagine there would be an aversion to talking it out. At the end of the day, 12for12k is about helping others, not ourselves. Emotions here may have initially "clouded the issue," but hopefully there will be a silver lining real, real soon.

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