Why Being Yourself is the Only Thing That Matters | danny brown | Conversations on emerging and social media tools for marketing, PR, communications and community

Why Being Yourself is the Only Thing That Matters

American Spirit Organic Cigarettes I’m getting a little jaded currently by various professionals, consultants and business “superstars” on their blogs and other online forums.

The biggest issue is where a point’s been made by the author, someone disagrees because of a personal opinion, and the author backtracks and jumps the other way.

Why?

If you didn’t believe in the thing you wrote about or spoke of in the first place, why mention it? Was it to court popularity? Or appear that you’re agreeing with the majority when instead the opposite would have been true?

The funny thing is that this is happening more and more, and instead of showing that you’re open to debate and differing views it suggests that you can’t make your mind up. Or worse still, are hesitant on the validity of your own beliefs (business and personal).

If that’s the way some people want to play, fair enough – everyone’s entitled to handle themselves the way they feel is best for them.

But just because someone disagrees with you, do you really need to then agree 100% with them on their point? Or does that just weaken your original argument and authority on the topic at hand?

I’m all for admitting that your original thoughts may not be completely right and understanding other points of view, but don’t lose your voice because of it. One of the best examples of someone that stays true to their beliefs is Geoff Livingston. We’ve butted heads in the past and I don’t always agree with his approach, but I respect him 100% for staying true to himself.

The one thing that separates you from everyone else is your belief. It’s what makes you who you are. It’s your conscience; your moral fibre; your business mantra; the reason people either respect you or don’t.

When you lose that, you lose yourself and any respect that people may have built up in you. Surely that’s more important than any perceived popularity contest.

Isn’t it?

photo credit: ATIS547

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Brandon Mendelson

I agree Danny. I have no problem telling people what I think, and if folks don't agree, I totally support that.

The issue is, we're raised to agree and want to be liked, so there's a certain degree of stubbornness that more of us need to have in holding our opinion and not being influenced. Thankfully, that's coming.

As we move towards more folks using their real name online and it becoming increasingly difficult to hide opinions on important subjects (thanks to search and opening Facebook), you may see more people start to dig in and hold their ground. At least, I hope we will.

Danny Brown

Hmm... is there maybe a failing at some level in our upbringing, would you say? Or does it manifest itself more as popularity and reach grows, and it's almost as if you want more so you agree more?

Good points to chew on, Brandon, cheers.

christammiller

I'm probably guilty of this, though I try to temper it. In my case, writing about social media relative to police work, all I have is the benefit of what other cops have told me (one reason why I'm trying to focus more on case studies and interviews in my blog). Otherwise, until I can get going on ridealongs again, my understanding of police work is very limited. And I may raise a point that is (at least in readers' minds) completely unrealistic.

Ultimately what I seek to do in this kind of case is to find a bridge, perhaps revising my opinion to accommodate their reality, but not backtracking 100%. I'd like to think I wouldn't say something so outrageous that I would just be that wrong!

(Edited to add: I write about police and LE because I've been working for 8 years as a freelancer specializing in the field. I know the job very well, but not the daily ins and outs. I rely on readers for that!)

Danny Brown

I think that's the key difference and point you make, Christa - although you may backtrack, it's not 100%, so you still have your opinion and strength of belief in it. And I think that's what many people are beginning to let go.

Police and social media, and someone reporting on it? Sounds like you have some stories to tell. :)

Tim Jahn

People are so scared of standing up for what they believe in. They live in fear of having thoughts different than everyone else. They're afraid of being unique.

Thanks, Danny, for reminding us there's no reason to be afraid. We're all different anyway. Why not be loud and proud, right?! ;)

Kasey Skala

Danny, you bring up an interesting point, and one that I think is going to start having a larger impact on social media. Your points are great, so I won't touch on them. Instead, I want to touch on the opposite end - readers/commentors switching their views in an effort to "agree with the expert."

I had a recent discussion regarding the recent Burger King ad. I argued that while the ad itself was wrong, it was the content that was actually degrading - not the concept. Her view was that the entire ad was wrong because of the content. What I fear is that we'll have these "innovators" and "thought leaders" make a statement and everyone will simply follow along and not challenge the status quo. After all, someone like me who's younger can't disagree with a seasoned vet, right?

Danny Brown

That's a perfect example, Kasey (and one that's ripe for future discussion). I think there can be a case of "hero worship", where people want recognition or approval from A-lister's, seasoned/power bloggers or whatever other term is being used to describe. So although a post might make you think, "Uh, no, that's wrong" you go along and simply put a positive spin on it.

I've seen several posts by bloggers and writers I respect immensely state something that I just thought was out of touch, and said so in my comments there, only to be heckled down by the majority of the other commenters.

Fair enough if I (or anyone else disagreeing) am wrong in my own question, but when there's a point that's been made in a post that's so clearly wrong and people are getting shot down for pointing it out, you have to question bias and thinking from the comment side.

Thanks for raising this, definitely something worth more discussion.

Henie

Hi Danny!

Thank you for always writing about thoughts that so often cross people's minds but are afraid to voice for the very reasons you noted above.

What I have learned first and foremost is, "opinions are NOT weapons!"

JanSimpson

Danny Brown is one of my favs. Nice post Danny. I get what he is saying but I also understand the whole entitlement society where if someone questions you or disagrees with you then they must be against you.

So, if someone disagrees with you and you want to discuss the issue thereby one side seeing someone's opinion, yeah. If the other side respects your experiences and passions for what the person believes that is wonder too. However, don't be so rude or condescending by stating "We can agree to disagree" that means nothing other than being rude to person and their experiences and opinions.

Just because someone writes an opinion doesn't necessarily mean they are so hell-bent on the outcome they are just looking for discussion purposes which actually means they are trying to educate their viewers. That is a good thing - just because you run your site one way - doesn't mean others may try to have different strategies to get people to think ...I mean Danny...

Isn't that what this whole blogging, whether micro blog, professional blog or whatever else you doing is all about - getting people to read listen view others opinions based on their experiences and how those experiences effected/affected them thereby seeing what happened to them? Just discuss - be happy -

Just my humble opinion.

Again, nice post - gets people to think about what they are really blogging for....

Danny Brown

Hi Jan,

I agree with most of what you're saying, and it's one of the key themes about the post - discussion. Good, healthy discussion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and the best blogs have healthy discussions going on in the comments where everyone can share views, opinions, facts and reason. Not everyone will agree with the other; and neither should they - this is where personal opinion needs to be encouraged and nurtured.

Where I personally feel let down is when the writer has made a passionate case for something - could be advice, tips, personal view or whatever - and then someone disagrees with a completely different point of view.

Instead of discussing why that person has that point of view or why the writer respects it but disagrees (and then offers their points why), he or she simply acquiesces and agrees 100%. No discussion. No reasons. Nothing. It's a complete turnaround.

In which case, shouldn't the original post be amended then to show the new point of view? You would have thought this would be the logical step to take. Yet in the next comment, someone else agrees with the writer's original point and the writer goes straight back to their original viewpoint.

I don't know - it just comes across as trying to please everyone as opposed to saying what you feel, and then talking about that. And that just seems kinda disappointing.

Thanks for a great viewpoint Jan, always a pleasure to hear your views. :)