
This is a guest post from close friend and writer Christina Kingston, who blogs over at CtKingston.com and is one of my 10 Bloggers to Watch in 2010.
If you’re online right now then…
Who’s watching rickety, old, near-death grandpa?
Who’s feeding the children?
Who’s French kissing the wife?
I was chatting with good friend and fellow blogger, Danny Brown, randomly discussing a multitude of topics. We touched upon one that made us both laugh.
The questions above, though harrowing, propelled a few snickers in regards to the “topic” we chuckled over, which boils down to web time spent versus real life squandered.
Danny suggested I write it up as a guest post on his site, but as time passed and rough drafts got cranked out, scattering by my desk side, I began to feel this particular blog might be too offensive for many of my career-oriented, married-with-children friends. It might even be offensive to my very close single friends who are sadly barren, unloved, lonely, and all alone without a clue how to survive in the workplace. I love these people.
Normally I have no problem being aggressive in prose or real life. I can easily blame my parents for this failing and that’s always a relief. Someone to blame. Once in a while I phone my folks, thanking them profusely for being such rotters. So rotten that their actions provided me with an infinite excuse. They hate those calls, but so be it, suck on it Ma and Pa! They know what they’ve done.
But this blog thing… I thought maybe I could just soft-pedal the initial idea so as not to appear accusatory of anyone I personally know, the ones who give the web their undivided attention, meanwhile habitually ignoring their wives, husbands, bfs, gfs, friends, children, jobs…
But no way, that’s what the whole piece was supposed to be about — the anti-social aspects of social networking as it pertains to the love showered on strangers, as opposed to the rampant disregard for those closest to us.

Although I see this kind of neglect often, I certainly wouldn’t map out anyone’s Internet timeline to prove how nearly impossible it’d be to find space where they might have had a moment to ask, “Hi kids, how was school?” Or even microwave a meal for themselves. And the married ones, do they ever talk with their spouses? They are online far too often to have sex with them, that’s clear.
And is the company they work for paying any attention to their sloppy work ethic? How much longer can these people keep a job? How many of these human animals once had an active social life, solid relationship and successful career only to blindly watch it dwindle while they squander away the hours on a social networking site? This question seemed like a good, possibly very serious blog idea.
But the more I spun it the more it felt potentially a tiny-bit rude.
I’m sure others will and or have tackled this dilemma. However, this kind of dicey subject will probably never be written by me.
But I’ll still wonder, “Who is feeding the children?” I also might think, “It’s no wonder your mate is cheating on you,” and occasionally imagine, “Of course your company flounders and you have zero job security.” I kinda might ponder such things every once in awhile, but I sure won’t be bringing it up in public.
Maybe Danny will… You’ll have to ask him. Actually don’t ask him, I doubt either one of us has much interest in that sort of discussion.
Please leave your thoughts below.
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Twitter: jeannevb
Shhh, I’m online… I’m tweeting. I’m ignoring my dogs who are begging at my feet to be let out to pee. I’m watching a dust bunny fly past my floor, only to catch up to the other dust bunnies scampering around. I’ve neglected my real life friends, my family and my chipped toe nails all to sit here for a few moments with my fake friends… who I fantasize are my real friends. Would I admit that to anyone? No way… then they’d think I was a loser. I better call my mom and dad and blame them. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do…. well, maybe after one more tweet.
Jeanne Veillette Bowerman´s most recent blog post …I will not read your f*cking script or manuscript… until June
Twitter: jeannevb
Hours have gone by, and I’m still on Twitter, thinking about your post. My name is Jeanne, and I’m a twitteraholic.
Tina, your brilliant non-writing of a topic post has shown me the err of my addictive ways. Because of you, I will now be a better mother, a better wife, a better writer, a better cook, a better toenail painter and maybe even make some money this year by NOT tweeting. Although… I might end up drinking excessively out of loneliness, having lost the best procrastination tool I’ve found. Maybe I’ll then be forced to facebook…. gasp!
Brava for saying what we all have been thinking!
Twitter: jeannevb
maybe I’ll even be a better kisser – heehee
Jeanne Veillette Bowerman´s most recent blog post …I will not read your f*cking script or manuscript… until June
You mean you drink when you tweet? Isn’t that a cardinal sin?
Twitter: CTK1
And I’m still here too! If you drink out of excess from loneliness, I’ll join you, but then that’d defeat the purpose! Then again no one ever said you and I, no one ever said we were conventional! Thanks for the read and the hilarious trio of comments!
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: booksbelow
I’m really glad you didn’t write about this subject, it could obviously cause some embarrassment to those of us online reading it!
Roger Hjulstrom´s most recent blog post …Which Twitter are you using?
Twitter: CTK1
Right on target Roger, haaaa! Good to see that beard of yours, it holds great knowledge.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: ariherzog
Whoa, that’s a long blog post. I’ve seen some of your tweets lately, Christina, so I figured you’d write a short post, but woman oh woman, you like ‘em long and deep.
Roger wrote what needed to be written in his above comment and I can’t differ. So here’s a question: Why’d you take so long to write something for Danny, other than your thirst for long things? Nahh, nevermind. This comment is so ripe of eroticism from the picture above it’s not worth a response.
[The sarcasm level here is high.]
Ari Herzog´s most recent blog post …What I Did For 5 Minutes Last Night That Could Have Changed How Blog Comments Are Added
Twitter: CTK1
The post is 580 words long. But for you I’ll make a 40thousand word blog soon. Thanks for the read Ari.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: ariherzog
…and 3,265 characters, a far cry from the 140 I’m used to seeing from your routine thought patterns.
Then again, I see you’re writing about sausages so maybe it’s par for the course.
Ari Herzog´s most recent blog post …On Receiving
Twitter: CTK1
Please stop while you’re ahead. Thanks.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Isn’t everyone limited to 140-characters on Twitter, Ari? Or have you discovered a black magic version?
I have to agree with Christina here – I’m all for an open comments policy and that’s why I don’t have moderation in place. But I think the tone in your second comment (whether intentional or not) does appear a little derogatory.
Maybe just a little less bite?
Twitter: willconley777
Greatposthouseonfiregottagothanksbye
Will Conley´s most recent blog post …Website Review: Initial Reactions: CouchSurfing.org
Twitter: CTK1
That’s funny. I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t get it the 1st time, read it twice, got it! Will, good one. And I hope you stopped tweeting while spraying the hose on that fire of yours!
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: KellyG5
I love it! I love you and I think I too would like to know who’s french kissing your wife! Wait I’m a wife! No one is french kissing me right now… damn now that’s a shame… but at least I can be entertained by your blog entry which totally ROCKS!!!
Open mouth kisses to everyone.. why the heck not!
Twitter: ariherzog
You’re into polyamory, eh?
Ari Herzog´s most recent blog post …What I Did For 5 Minutes Last Night That Could Have Changed How Blog Comments Are Added
Twitter: CTK1
You would have been French kissed if you weren’t online. Test out this theory and then get back to me!If you didn’t get any smooch then I will recant my statement. Then again, hey, it’s woman’s lib so go grab hubby and get the ball rollong. Uh-oh will you make a balls joke now…KELLY! KELLY! Thanks love.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: nsedef
The words ring true. Leave it to Tina to expose social media’s dirty secret… I’ve intentionally gotten more disciplined about twittering away my time online in the last few weeks. I make sure to keep my time-sink allotments to only 30 min increments. Except when they go longer.
Twitter: CTK1
You actually have great control over your online activities. A friend of mine keeps telling me to do something similar to your 30minute increment rule. But instead I simply leave the networks for 18-21 hours at a time. I’m so excessive! Oddly people still think I’m a tweet machine. Go figure. BUT YOU I know for certain are dilligent and wise and I admire that about you, among many other things. Cheers Sedef!
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: timbrownson
Nobody is french kissing my wife to the best of my knowledge, but the guy down the road is rolling around the floor with my dogs and his pants are round his ankles.
Should I intervene or just tweet about it?
Are the dogs enjoying it? I think that’s the decider, Tim.
Twitter: CTK1
Aha, Danny that’s a good question for Timothy!
And Timothy thanks for that laugh
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: wookiesgirl
Very, very interesting topic my dear! I am probably one of the guilty ones. One look at my tweet count and you’d agree. Now I don’t feel like I neglect work, kids or my husband who I might add is also online. However they may disagree. What gets neglected is my house cleaning for sure. Solution: Hire a maid! I feed my kids, I bathe and put them to bed. Although I could probably spend less time writing, reading and chatting online and more time with them. But I also realize I could be in complete denial as well. Hmm I better not look to close, I may not like what I find!
Much love my friend!
Wookiesgirl
Twitter: CTK1
Your whole family is online… I think that’s a universal thing and kosher when you’re still able to have your togetherness. And you do. Oftentimes only one mate is online, the other is twiddling thumbs wondering, “Huh? Did I marry a ghost?”
Frankly I think at some point we all get addicted and roll with it and then stop. Then eventually come back and start all over again. Then stop.
The whole thing is craziness and one day they will create a WAA group, Web Addict Anonymous, pronounced Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… But no one will show up because everyone is online. Waaaaaa.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: kishau
Well … someone had to (not) say it. LOL. I think sticking to a reasonable online schedule that doesn’t interfere with real life is the solution. But then you’d have to define ‘real life’.
Twitter: CTK1
“Well … someone had to (not) say it.”
LOVE THIS!
“But then you’d have to define ‘real life’.”
LOVE THIS!
Thank you for stopping by and making me say
“LOVE THIS!”
I said it 3x
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: jeffersonreid
Hilarious, you said what needed to be said by not saying it. Nicely done. I really should look in on rickety, old, near-death grandpa, but I am too consumed with your groovy pictures and witty prose to be bothered. Is that so wrong. Okay, yeah, it is. But I’ve been very busy lately. Thanks for the much needed laughs.
Twitter: Ninibaseema
ahh sir jeffers, next time you need a laugh, just let me know. My grandpa is actually dead but my granny is hilarious and she would take over the job and tell you some good old fashioned german jokes!
Not itty bitty witty sexy pics though…. (and believe me you wouldnt want them!)
Twitter: CTK1
“Hilarious, you said what needed to be said by not saying it.”
A sheepish grin ensues…
By chance did you check in on dying gramps yet?
He’s probably cursing you by now. Maybe start up a Twitter account for him so he can tweet all day about how horrible you are
I wish you used Twitter more, but admire your discipline.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: Ninibaseema
Ahhh yeah, that’s a hot subject:
Is being online too much – an investment, or a waste of time?
I guess it depends on what you are doing online AND offline and what it does for you precisely.
If you’re sitting infront of the television instead – ignoring your wife or husband just the same, then you might as well go online and chat with other people- the effect is the same, works just as well as any other escapism does – such as playing with the toytrainset in the basement, sitting behind the tracks on your music machine or simply putting your head in the toilet just for the fun of it…
Awareness about your own “needs” and what to do to “satisfy” them in a healthy and social way – is a subject A LOT OF people struggle with! It requires that famous long stare into the mirror that so many people have a hard time with…
A great deal of us prefer to outsource instead and project – and its so easy since no platform is more convenient then the god damn internet, where you can get almost all your heart desires without the dangers of being let down – “good” friends (that dont ask uncomfortable questions), secret sex dating (where everybody looks HOT and not normal) , online role games (where you can always be the hero) or twitter friendship (where intimacy lasts 2 seconds and never hurts)…
Ahh yeah.
And then there is people that are bored and just enjoy the distraction as it makes them feel good… Nice to know, that those are around too!
You know, Nini, that’s a really good point. While we can easily see where our time is being “wasted” online, it’s maybe something we’re not so in tune with offline. Especially if we’ve settled into humdrum relationships and boring jobs, and are just doing things on auto-pilot.
Nicely put, cheers!
Twitter: CTK1
Holy mutha! This is awesome girl. And signifies I need to push you like crazy to get your own website… Will do! I know you wanna.
The “secret sex dating”… do tell. Does this really happen? *wink*
Now hos is it that you never get asked uncomfortable questions by people you meet online? Outrageous … why, out of the two of us, do I get ALL the probing questions.
This can not be true. Calls for investigation.
BTW, Nini, can you tell me your hopes and dreams?
And I was wondering, but forgot to ask, what hurt you most as a child.
It’d be best if you post all of it in this public forum. xo
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: Ninibaseema
I’m working on the blog thingy girl, I’m just not very good at pushing myself. There are only 24 hours in the day, and I am currently busy with the – uhm -online sex dating thing- ya know.
LOL!
))
Oh and by the way:
I think online people never ask me uncomfortable questions because
a) they are dead scared of my answers
b) nothing feels uncomfortable to me
c) both of the above
Thx for the flowers, Danny, too!
Twitter: CTK1
Good Lord, word monster! I was joking about spilling all your secrets out here in public on Mr. Danny Brown’s website.
tee hee
Gracias for adding color to everyone’s rainbow.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: britmic
As my deceased grandmother I never met used to say “everything in moderation”.
And, my grandmother never needed glasses. Drank right out of the bottle.
britmic´s most recent blog post …Diet Water
Twitter: CTK1
Coming from a fellow “Withnail&I” fan, I know deeply of what you speak. Thanks mate. Bottles up!
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: DavidSpinks
I’m just planning on allowing social networks to completely consume my life so that I’ll never have a wife to cheat on me, or dogs, or kids who fail out of high school… yea, that’ll work.
David Spinks´s most recent blog post …If you register your site for free at
And a damn fine job you’re doing of it so far, fella. Hey, hang on – didn’t you share your love for your lady on Twitter recently?
Twitter: CTK1
I like your grand plan and think I might have already adapted it. I have no wife, no dogs, no kids…
David, is this a new ‘movement’? !! We need to get special outfits and wear them daily so we can all instantly recognize our cult members when we are accidentally in the IRL. We can all exchange email accounts and twitter addys… let’s get this off the ground via a new website!
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: drewmaniac
I am speechless. Carry on…
Andrew Weaver´s most recent blog post …4th and 20
Twitter: CTK1
Okay Andrew, if you insist. Carry on [in progress]
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: JulieWalraven
I read this last night, Danny and Christine and was speechless so I went to bed. So at 3:42am, I was ready to start over again. Admittedly, I had a good reason for early rising. I had to facilitate a marketing materials transfer for a friend who is speaking at 7am to Rotary.
But your post did make me think, and your comments also made me think. Nini’s comment is very true though, there are many ways to not interact at all. Movies, video games, sports on TV, singular hobbies like woodworking, coin collecting or even gardening can pull us out of interaction with people nearby.
It’s all choices but we should think. Teddy just comes and puts a paw on me when he feels ignored… or he plays the piano…
Julie Walraven´s most recent blog post …Job Seeker or Job Keeper?
Twitter: CTK1
Julie thanks for the read and words.
“there are many ways to not interact at all”
It’s true that IRL can sometimes be lonelier than being alone and online. Which would be an interesting case study. INDEED!
And sounds like Teddy is wise. Give my love to the Teddy! And if he takes piano requests, how about something from the George and Ira Gershwin songbook? :–)
Thanks again Julie.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: cynsheis
this was one of my faves of yours..so far….i am not eloquent or witty….but did enjoy spending the last hour reading your post and all the comments!
Twitter: CTK1
Cyn, you ARE eloquent and witty. You make me laugh on the Twitter web as well as on the Facebook planet. Stay awesome. Thank you.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Twitter: CTK1
Hey Danny, I’m not sure what this Trackback/Ping has to do w/the blog?
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
1. How women enjoy eroticism through sex stories | Fling Hotel
Ha… I hope that doesn’t link to something too sketchy.
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …Think Sausage: Visualize Happiness
Funny but sad to think of it; we have more friends online than in real life. Two Saturdays ago, a friend was discussing an important issue with me. Sub-consciously, while he was talking, I whipped out my smartphone, log on to Yahoo! Messenger, and hit reply to an offline message before I know what was happening. My friend shifted his eyes to me, and said “Felix, you’re not paying attention again. Please put aside your game for now.” I quickly apologised and slide the offending device back into my Jeans pocket. That’s one of the side-effects of being always online.
Felix Diamond´s most recent blog post …Passionate Text Messages
Twitter: CTK1
Thanks for the read and for dropping word.
I’ve seen that happen before, just recently a woman was crying. She stopped momentarily. Her friend’s cell rang, friend answered and said, “Omg hi, how are you?” pause…”I didn’t see your email, I’m with a friend and she’s bummed out.” …pause…”I’ll get the email right now, but can’t respond ’til I get out of this restaurant.”…pause…”Oh okay, sure, [laughs] yeah can’t wait to see you too!”
Friend hangs up phone, then checks email.
Meanwhile the crying woman accepts it all without a peep, but does look shattered. After Friend finishes she actually says to crying woman, “Oh God, wow, I can’t wait until this weekend. Sorry about that.”
What?
I felt like crying for the crying woman.
Felix it happens all the time as you know, but at least you knew it was wrong ;–)))
Ct Kingston´s most recent blog post …How To Comment Blogs
Both you and Felix bring up sad but true examples. So many folks are tethered to their online devices that it’s almost as if they’re plugged into the Matrix. Where do we go from here?
Twitter: cynsheis
look at this blog go!….i refuse to ignore the rudeness..especially when in the middle of something…my brother has messaging and id so he can easily check in ten…..i tell him to drop the call..unless an emergency…i dont own a cell phone and never will…PROUD too aint i?..yes
Twitter: cynsheis
oh and when cant get out much…internet conversations and info sharing are an important part of some lives…………and besides sometimes ya just dont like your family that damn much!