A Slight Intermission on Blog Comments Respect

Hi Danny :)
My Son Danny just turned 13 and even he wouldn't say really off the wall hurtful unnecessary things to people. This is actually my first time here I was reading another post and this caught my eye because I said let me go convince myself that once everyone GETS HOT they switch up their comment policy or do follow to no follow etc and Low and behold the exact opposite. I don't know nor want to about what went down with the Goofs leaving nasty comments but You Sir have conducted yourself as a Gentleman and I can see why I have been seeing your name POPPING all over :) You MUST be Irish anyway appreciate the nice surprise and I thought my commenting system was pretty liberal but I really liked your whole thought process on commenting Peace
Thanks
.-= John Sullivan´s most recent blog post ...Top Ten Hottest Blogs =-.

Danny a post that was well put. People need to remember that each one of us has valid opinions. One of the things I really believe in and have been trying to explain to people is respect in social media. To value other people's opinions and learn from them. They are equally as right as you to feel what they feel.

Thank you for showing the community respect.

Well done!
.-= Rob Cairns´s most recent blog post ...A Review – Twitter Power – Joel Comm with Ken Burge =-.

Another thought provoking post Danny, thanks.

I also think you can tell a lot about a blog, very quickly, just by looking at the type of comments it attracts.

All the best sir!
.-= Jim Connolly´s most recent blog post ...How to set your marketing goals so they motivate you! =-.

First…..Respecting social etiquette vs. flaming, there is significant wisdom in having a range of 2nd comments – or comments to comments, particularly when it comes to unusually good or bad ones. It is just that people are getting smart – and realize how those ‘glowing’ comments are most likely placed with self-subscribing intentions.

Now, regarding your articles, I think they are great from the perspective that they are getting people to think about what real ‘influence’ power social media brings to play, versus thinking about from the perspective of being a ‘joiner’ – which is the primary market perspective of the millennial generation for this media (because most of them are joiners).

By contrast, most businesses do not recognize that the majority of bloggers are older than 45, and that – this socially active generation (past the child-rearing years) are the ones with more powerful written content…. Just because they more have experience to talk about…. And their influence is greater, because their wisdom is clearly reflected in their style and personal (vs. academic) experienceS.

It’s actually quite easy to leverage the most from embracing social media marketing – it’s more influential than conventional media – the last elections should tell anyone that. The way to understand all this is to see it as a ‘social techno science’ between (1) the technology, (2) the activity profile of the participants, and (3) objectives you are seeking to attain. And I’ll get to all that in a minute, but first a quick ‘reality check’.

Business are and should be afraid of social media marketing as it is NOT the familiar one-way conversation, but the conversation is the market.... and that conversation should anything but Advertising! By contrast, the major objectives of this media are centered around... places where people get what they want from other people, versus anything too corporate - like the inner company blog... which means "No Advertising" - at least none that which is self-inflating.

This is the world of people getting support from other people, getting advocates of your 'cause' (technology, services as a category versus a corporate identity), giving helpful advise or criticism vs. just praises, and a willingness to just get down and be personal.

Likewise, it's important to see things from the 'defense' or 'necessary evil' perspective: People are talking about your business everyday - there is nothing you can do to stop it. They also expect you as a caring listening business to seek out their 'public' conversations, and respond.

Put another way, if you do hear a big griper and pro-actively respond and fix their problem, the likelihood is pretty good that they will also turn around and become one of your biggest advocates.... and aren’t those are the 'real' stories people want to hear about?

By contrast, if you do not respond, but they expect you to find them and do so, your 'apparent' lack of concern is a strike against you, from their point of view (and their followers also).

From another marketing perspective, this is similar to long tail marketing but with a 'twist' - that being that really social participants are typically aligned with 5-6 other networks, at multiple depths, and that 20% group also represents the highest level of influence.

When there is no price to admission some people think its a free-for-all. I'm glad to see you defining the value of your domain and setting house rules.

Many people watch from the sidelines while others get beat up. That's simply not acceptable.

Good for you Danny.

Best,
Justin McCullough
twitter.com/leader4hire

Good job, Sir Danny Brown. Sometimes the comments over here get real feisty! It's a testament to your own passion that you rouse up the rebels, thinkers, debaters and even the cuddly trolls.

Keep up the great work. Somebody has to. I trust you'll do the job quite nicely. As you have done for a long time.

[This is an unpaid for comment. Eventhough it seems to clearly favor Danny Brown.]
.-= Christina Kingston´s most recent blog post ...The Death of Sex =-.

This may be a carryover from what we're seeing in the inappropriate online comments at newspapers. I recently wrote about this, as well as as some very good measures being taken to address it, including community self-monitoring: http://businessesgrow.com/2009/11/11/social-media-and-the-freedom-to-hate/

I am going to be appearing on a panel later this month examining where we need to draw the lines on blogging and your post has helped me crystalize some thinking in this area. Thanks, DB!
.-= Mark W Schaefer´s most recent blog post ...Thought-provoking social media trends =-.

Sigh!

The more things change, the more things stay the same. I have been involved in technology since the '80's.

Having to wear fire retardant underwear on the old BBS (bulletin board systems) and then the early Usenet newsgroups was de rigeur.

It is unfortunate that even in this new millennium that too many seem to think that they can build themselves up by trying to tear others down.

PS & thanks to @ericdbrown for pointing me to this!

Regards.
.-= Elliot Ross´s most recent blog post ...We Can’t Always Give What They Want =-.

This is precisely why I continually advocate that blogs of all sizes and shapes institute content/comment policies. Here's a link to my policy, for instance, linked in the top navigational bar of my site. I created it in December 2008, as I wrote at the time.

This way, all are protected and such blog posts are merely reminders of the policy.
.-= Ari Herzog´s most recent blog post ...How I Find Blog Post Ideas – and You Can Too =-.

Extremely fair Danny. Nice write-up.
.-= Eric D Brown´s most recent blog post ...CIO Bad Habits – Still valid 7 years later =-.

Danny - Great points. I tend to be too thin skinned on my blog and others. All of this needs to be kept in perspective and that can be difficult online since there is so much flying around. Can never tell what prompts attacks either because it could be that someone is having a bad day in their life and is venting sideways. Hard subject to figure out but I think you are spot on with regard to your ownership of the community.

Keep making me think, Mr. Brown. I appreciate it.

Danny, love this!

It never ceases to amaze me that (seemingly) rational people can stray from the discussion at hand and wander into the realm of personal attacks. I mean, think about it, it's not like we're *actually* speaking here in real time. I can type anything in, review it, and edit it before I post, right? And I don't think I'm going out on a limb here when I say that others can do the same.

I value differing points of view. I learn from them, especially if they're shared thoughtfully and respectfully. And even if I end up disagreeing with the person commenting, I can do so in a rational and polite way - after all, they're entitled to their opinion.

It's a real shame that some people cannot express themselves and their point of view without personally attacking others. What is especially disturbing is when they do so anonymously. Not only does it completely invalidate their comments (to me, anyway), but it shows me that they know, on some level, what they're doing and how they're doing it is wrong.

For the record, while I appreciate your protectiveness towards your community, I also think it's wrong to personally attack the blogger/writer. I know you're tough, but that doesn't make it right. ;) There are ways to share your perspective without making it personal. Sometimes it's more challenging and may take a little more work, and in the end you may not change anyone's mind, but it's the right way to do it.

Appreciate the conversation, as always.

Ali, I was just wondering the same thing.

Danny, I suspect that low, personal attacks on you could be just as upsetting/damaging to your community as attacks on each other...
.-= Emily Cagle´s most recent blog post ...How to kill a news release in five easy steps =-.

Oh dear, sounds like someone dropped a turd in the swimming pool...spoiling things for everyone. What's so fascinating about us humans is our ability to help or to harm by simply breathing out and making sounds - verbally or by tapping on the keyboard. Letters arranged to add up to something nice or something nasty. Dear Danny, thanks for being a good playground monitor.
.-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s most recent blog post ...Your Power to Assist by Sending a Single Thought: Random Acts of Kick Arse =-.

Great point, well made.

Insulting each other seems to be the name of the game on some channels. Take YouTube, for example. You might have a totally innocuous video and underneath find a foul-mouthed, highly personal torrent of abuse flying in all directions.

We're very lucky that we get to 'own' our own blogs and it perfect makes sense to publish almost all comment but draw the line at personal attacks.

Great to see you're acting to protect your community.
.-= Emily Cagle´s most recent blog post ...How to kill a news release in five easy steps =-.

Danny - This is another reason why you are so loved by your community. Committing to protect them goes way beyond what most bloggers do.
.-= John Haydon´s most recent blog post ...Email Deliverability Tips For Your Non-Profit =-.

Danny,

I completely agree with you. Heated discussion is one thing but slanderous comments and personal attacks are another. I wrote a similar post earlier this week on my blog, and just finished reading one Amber Naslund wrote. Many of us are obviously concerned about the lack of respect that's flying through social media right now.

We all need to take a deep breath, step back and think before we comment, email or post. I hope people will begin to turn around so social media becomes welcoming to all and we have have respectful discussions. It's how we'll all learn and become better.

Just for clarification, what do you consider "attack" and what qualifies as "reasonable disagreement with" a fellow commenter?

I've been a part of many comment threads where some real light was shed through disagreements in the discussion. Of course, when there's friction, you're going to get some heat and some light - hopefully more of the latter than the former.

So where do you draw that distinction? Is it a function of the attitudes and openness of the participants? Some would consider it "rude" to even raise a question of another on a neutral venue.
.-= Ike´s most recent blog post ...Who Needs Avatar? We Already Live In Parallel Universes =-.

nicelly said :)

I also welcome all type of comments on my blog, wheteher they agree or disagree, fortunatelly I never had the my commenters attacking each other, and I hope I never will!

Itu00e2u0080u0099s a real shame that some people cannot express themselves and their point of view without personally attacking others.

I think that if you can't make your point in an adult manner and be prepared to agree to disagree I'd assume you not leave a comment at all.

Thanks for the post Danny - well said.

Hi Danny :)
My Son Danny just turned 13 and even he wouldn't say really off the wall hurtful unnecessary things to people. This is actually my first time here I was reading another post and this caught my eye because I said let me go convince myself that once everyone GETS HOT they switch up their comment policy or do follow to no follow etc and Low and behold the exact opposite. I don't know nor want to about what went down with the Goofs leaving nasty comments but You Sir have conducted yourself as a Gentleman and I can see why I have been seeing your name POPPING all over :) You MUST be Irish anyway appreciate the nice surprise and I thought my commenting system was pretty liberal but I really liked your whole thought process on commenting Peace
Thanks
.-= John Sullivanu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...Top Ten Hottest Blogs =-.

Danny a post that was well put. People need to remember that each one of us has valid opinions. One of the things I really believe in and have been trying to explain to people is respect in social media. To value other people's opinions and learn from them. They are equally as right as you to feel what they feel.

Thank you for showing the community respect.

Well done!
.-= Rob Cairnsu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...A Review u00e2u0080u0093 Twitter Power u00e2u0080u0093 Joel Comm with Ken Burge =-.

Another thought provoking post Danny, thanks.

I also think you can tell a lot about a blog, very quickly, just by looking at the type of comments it attracts.

All the best sir!
.-= Jim Connollyu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...How to set your marketing goals so they motivate you! =-.

Firstu00e2u0080u00a6..Respecting social etiquette vs. flaming, there is significant wisdom in having a range of 2nd comments u00e2u0080u0093 or comments to comments, particularly when it comes to unusually good or bad ones. It is just that people are getting smart u00e2u0080u0093 and realize how those u00e2u0080u0098glowingu00e2u0080u0099 comments are most likely placed with self-subscribing intentions.

Now, regarding your articles, I think they are great from the perspective that they are getting people to think about what real u00e2u0080u0098influenceu00e2u0080u0099 power social media brings to play, versus thinking about from the perspective of being a u00e2u0080u0098joineru00e2u0080u0099 u00e2u0080u0093 which is the primary market perspective of the millennial generation for this media (because most of them are joiners).

By contrast, most businesses do not recognize that the majority of bloggers are older than 45, and that u00e2u0080u0093 this socially active generation (past the child-rearing years) are the ones with more powerful written contentu00e2u0080u00a6. Just because they more have experience to talk aboutu00e2u0080u00a6. And their influence is greater, because their wisdom is clearly reflected in their style and personal (vs. academic) experienceS.

Itu00e2u0080u0099s actually quite easy to leverage the most from embracing social media marketing u00e2u0080u0093 itu00e2u0080u0099s more influential than conventional media u00e2u0080u0093 the last elections should tell anyone that. The way to understand all this is to see it as a u00e2u0080u0098social techno scienceu00e2u0080u0099 between (1) the technology, (2) the activity profile of the participants, and (3) objectives you are seeking to attain. And Iu00e2u0080u0099ll get to all that in a minute, but first a quick u00e2u0080u0098reality checku00e2u0080u0099.

Business are and should be afraid of social media marketing as it is NOT the familiar one-way conversation, but the conversation is the market.... and that conversation should anything but Advertising! By contrast, the major objectives of this media are centered around... places where people get what they want from other people, versus anything too corporate - like the inner company blog... which means "No Advertising" - at least none that which is self-inflating.

This is the world of people getting support from other people, getting advocates of your 'cause' (technology, services as a category versus a corporate identity), giving helpful advise or criticism vs. just praises, and a willingness to just get down and be personal.

Likewise, it's important to see things from the 'defense' or 'necessary evil' perspective: People are talking about your business everyday - there is nothing you can do to stop it. They also expect you as a caring listening business to seek out their 'public' conversations, and respond.

Put another way, if you do hear a big griper and pro-actively respond and fix their problem, the likelihood is pretty good that they will also turn around and become one of your biggest advocates.... and arenu00e2u0080u0099t those are the 'real' stories people want to hear about?

By contrast, if you do not respond, but they expect you to find them and do so, your 'apparent' lack of concern is a strike against you, from their point of view (and their followers also).

From another marketing perspective, this is similar to long tail marketing but with a 'twist' - that being that really social participants are typically aligned with 5-6 other networks, at multiple depths, and that 20% group also represents the highest level of influence.

When there is no price to admission some people think its a free-for-all. I'm glad to see you defining the value of your domain and setting house rules.

Many people watch from the sidelines while others get beat up. That's simply not acceptable.

Good for you Danny.

Best,
Justin McCullough
twitter.com/leader4hire

Good job, Sir Danny Brown. Sometimes the comments over here get real feisty! It's a testament to your own passion that you rouse up the rebels, thinkers, debaters and even the cuddly trolls.

Keep up the great work. Somebody has to. I trust you'll do the job quite nicely. As you have done for a long time.

[This is an unpaid for comment. Eventhough it seems to clearly favor Danny Brown.]
.-= Christina Kingstonu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...The Death of Sex =-.

It's very childish indeed to attack other commenters. Such selfish act only reveals the arrogance and ignorance of the person perpetrating it. :-)

Danny,

I discovered a long time ago that most commenters that feel the need to slip into personal attacks - well they lack the ability to defend their position.

Easier to tear someone down than to think through and articulate a position.

Feeble minds feebly trying to matter.

This may be a carryover from what we're seeing in the inappropriate online comments at newspapers. I recently wrote about this, as well as as some very good measures being taken to address it, including community self-monitoring: http://businessesgrow.com/2009/11/11/social-media-and-the-freedom-to-hate/

I am going to be appearing on a panel later this month examining where we need to draw the lines on blogging and your post has helped me crystalize some thinking in this area. Thanks, DB!
.-= Mark W Schaeferu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...Thought-provoking social media trends =-.

Sigh!

The more things change, the more things stay the same. I have been involved in technology since the '80's.

Having to wear fire retardant underwear on the old BBS (bulletin board systems) and then the early Usenet newsgroups was de rigeur.

It is unfortunate that even in this new millennium that too many seem to think that they can build themselves up by trying to tear others down.

PS & thanks to @ericdbrown for pointing me to this!

Regards.
.-= Elliot Rossu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...We Canu00e2u0080u0099t Always Give What They Want =-.

This is precisely why I continually advocate that blogs of all sizes and shapes institute content/comment policies. Here's a link to my policy, for instance, linked in the top navigational bar of my site. I created it in December 2008, as I wrote at the time.

This way, all are protected and such blog posts are merely reminders of the policy.
.-= Ari Herzogu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...How I Find Blog Post Ideas u00e2u0080u0093 and You Can Too =-.

Extremely fair Danny. Nice write-up.
.-= Eric D Brownu00c2u00b4s most recent blog post ...CIO Bad Habits u00e2u0080u0093 Still valid 7 years later =-.

Danny - thanks for interrupting your "regular programming" for this plea to the better side of humanness. I posted my thoughts on the Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays debate and, while I was not surprised that it struck a nerve, WAS taken aback at how personal and vitriolic the attacks were. And you are so right, the ones that attacked me I shrugged off - I felt at peace with what I had shared and was looking for sharing from others - but the personal attacks on other posters (NOT their posts mind you, but their persons) made my blood boil. I am happy to support a forum for agreement OR disagreement but NOT a forum for childish name calling. Your post here cuts straight to the heart of the matter and I appreciate your sharing it.

Danny - Great points. I tend to be too thin skinned on my blog and others. All of this needs to be kept in perspective and that can be difficult online since there is so much flying around. Can never tell what prompts attacks either because it could be that someone is having a bad day in their life and is venting sideways. Hard subject to figure out but I think you are spot on with regard to your ownership of the community.

Keep making me think, Mr. Brown. I appreciate it.