A Slight Intermission on Blog Comments Respect
Hi guys.
So today was meant to be the third part of the 7 Days to Turn Your Blog Into a Social Media Hub series. This will appear tomorrow, as something’s been chewing on my mind today (and apologies to anyone who was expecting the Hub post).
When I write a blog post, it’s obviously my point of view. Once it’s in the open, though, it then becomes a shared point of view with you, the readers – and your point of view is what builds the discussions around a post. Sometimes you’ll agree with me; other times, not so much. And that’s what makes the comments after a post such a fervent breeding ground for ideas.
I don’t even mind if you attack me for my views. Heck, I’m big and ugly enough to take your shots, and it shows me that you’re passionate about a topic – and I would never discourage passion.
Besides, I’m the person that’s invoked that reaction, so if it’s an attack, let’s have it open and unfiltered.
What I won’t accept, however, is attacking other commenters. They’re like you – simply offering an additional view on the starting topic. By all means, attack me – the blog is my home and as the owner, I’m responsible for what goes on inside. But attacking another commenter – that’s poor form.
I’m a firm believer in an open comment policy; I don’t moderate before publication, because I feel that stints genuine interaction and conversation. Going by the conversations that have happened over the months, it would appear that most agree.
Let’s play nice and keep it that way. Like I say, attack me if you wish – as the instigator of discussion, I’m open to all views and words. But let’s treat the guests (and that includes you) nicely.
What say you – fair?
photo credit: Martin Deutsch
56 Responses to “A Slight Intermission on Blog Comments Respect”
Personal attacks, obscenity, racial comments – that kind of thing. Heated discussion is fine, but let’s keep it non-personal and on-topic.
Good to define terms. “Personal attacks, obscenity, racial comments” are a clear indication the commenter has veered into a place best condemned.
I’ve made that mistake before, not here, but elsewhere and was fast to apologize. There’s good passion and bad, plus the murky middle… Regardless, bravo on open comments. As you know, not only does it often increase and expand the discussion it also becomes a way to meet interesting new people. Community in action.
.-= Christina Kingston´s most recent blog post …The Death of Sex =-.Hey there Christina,
What’s great about your example is that you realized your “error” and acted upon it to make things right. More could learn a thing or two from you.
Danny,
I completely agree with you. Heated discussion is one thing but slanderous comments and personal attacks are another. I wrote a similar post earlier this week on my blog, and just finished reading one Amber Naslund wrote. Many of us are obviously concerned about the lack of respect that’s flying through social media right now.
We all need to take a deep breath, step back and think before we comment, email or post. I hope people will begin to turn around so social media becomes welcoming to all and we have have respectful discussions. It’s how we’ll all learn and become better.
What often makes it worse, Mary, is that bloggers allow it to happen. It’s like allowing a full-on fist fight in your home and not caring the damage (person and other) that’s caused.
Fair enough Danny, I think comments are comments in the pure form,sometimes these are good or bad remarks, sometimes added value to the post and much more.
I think comments prove that a person has completely understood the thoughts shared in the post and yes connecting with people of your community is fun….For sure, comments for and against a point of view are perfect for extending points of view and opening people up to something they may not have been aware of. Yet let’s keep it civil – not too much to ask now, is it?
Danny – This is another reason why you are so loved by your community. Committing to protect them goes way beyond what most bloggers do.
.-= John Haydon´s most recent blog post …Email Deliverability Tips For Your Non-Profit =-.I’ve been really disappointed with certain A-listers who let anything go. Especially when they talk about fostering their blog’s community…
Great point, well made.
Insulting each other seems to be the name of the game on some channels. Take YouTube, for example. You might have a totally innocuous video and underneath find a foul-mouthed, highly personal torrent of abuse flying in all directions.
We’re very lucky that we get to ‘own’ our own blogs and it perfect makes sense to publish almost all comment but draw the line at personal attacks.
Great to see you’re acting to protect your community.
.-= Emily Cagle´s most recent blog post …How to kill a news release in five easy steps =-.That’s a great comment, Emily – “we own our own blogs”. Ownership comes with the need to look after; you own a car, you need to look after it to make it run well. Bloggers are the drivers, and our community our passengers – let’s get them to their next destination safely
Oh dear, sounds like someone dropped a turd in the swimming pool…spoiling things for everyone. What’s so fascinating about us humans is our ability to help or to harm by simply breathing out and making sounds – verbally or by tapping on the keyboard. Letters arranged to add up to something nice or something nasty. Dear Danny, thanks for being a good playground monitor.
.-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s most recent blog post …Your Power to Assist by Sending a Single Thought: Random Acts of Kick Arse =-.Haha, props for the best analogy I’ve seen on this blog yet – no-one likes a swimming pool turd dropper, after all
Ah yes……….remember Caddyshack?
Doody!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that is funny.
.-= Frank Reed´s most recent blog post …Online Community is Elusive =-.I called Danny a Doody-head in a private message.
Does that count?
.-= Ike´s most recent blog post …I Got Served =-.It’s stored in my memory for future use…
I totally agree with you that attacking your readers who leave comments is not acceptable. However, I disagree that it is fair game to attack you. You are just sharing your voice on a topic. I think it is OK for someone to disagree and tell you why they disagree, but for me attacking someone verbally is never OK or necessary. Or have I misunderstood what you meant by attack?
What I meant, Ali, is that if you’re going to attack anyone, attack me as I have the “power” to censure and act. Commenters on blogs don’t have that luxury. Besides, I have a really thick hide – flamers usually get bored of me long before I get offended by their quips
Ali, I was just wondering the same thing.
Danny, I suspect that low, personal attacks on you could be just as upsetting/damaging to your community as attacks on each other…
.-= Emily Cagle´s most recent blog post …How to kill a news release in five easy steps =-.Funnily enough, Emily, the times where I’ve been attacked is when this blog’s community has really rallied round and basically spoken for me. I’d like to think it’s because there’s mutual respect and openness in the comments (for the most part) and that they know that they won’t be opened up to uncalled for abuse. Or else I’ll get out my baseball bat..
Chapeau!, Danny for taking the time to talk about this issue.
I fully agree with you on that. Insults don’t help and won’t get the discussion any further ahead.
Of course a good discussion requires that all participators agree on that point.
I don’t mean to offend anybody by that last point.I think we know what you mean, Tom.
Agree completely – discussion is the greatest part of a blog, it brings what may be a great post to life in a way that no follow-up ever could.
If more people agreed that we have different points of views and shared them without resorting to low tactics, their points would more likely be listened to and discussed even more.
Saying that, more bloggers need to take ownership and stop letting the kind of abuse that can happen take place in the first place. They’re the example to lead by, if you like – make it a good one.
Danny, love this!
It never ceases to amaze me that (seemingly) rational people can stray from the discussion at hand and wander into the realm of personal attacks. I mean, think about it, it’s not like we’re *actually* speaking here in real time. I can type anything in, review it, and edit it before I post, right? And I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here when I say that others can do the same.
I value differing points of view. I learn from them, especially if they’re shared thoughtfully and respectfully. And even if I end up disagreeing with the person commenting, I can do so in a rational and polite way – after all, they’re entitled to their opinion.
It’s a real shame that some people cannot express themselves and their point of view without personally attacking others. What is especially disturbing is when they do so anonymously. Not only does it completely invalidate their comments (to me, anyway), but it shows me that they know, on some level, what they’re doing and how they’re doing it is wrong.
For the record, while I appreciate your protectiveness towards your community, I also think it’s wrong to personally attack the blogger/writer. I know you’re tough, but that doesn’t make it right.
There are ways to share your perspective without making it personal. Sometimes it’s more challenging and may take a little more work, and in the end you may not change anyone’s mind, but it’s the right way to do it.Appreciate the conversation, as always.
That’s a great point you make, Mickey – it doesn’t need to be in real-time, everything can be edited before publish. It’s kind of like the “act in haste, repent in leisure” thought. And unlike a throwaway speech bubble offline, a comment can remain online indefinitely.
Maybe I should rephrase – don’t attack any blogger, just me?
Hahaha! Right, because your community would *never* react to that.
Danny – Great points. I tend to be too thin skinned on my blog and others. All of this needs to be kept in perspective and that can be difficult online since there is so much flying around. Can never tell what prompts attacks either because it could be that someone is having a bad day in their life and is venting sideways. Hard subject to figure out but I think you are spot on with regard to your ownership of the community.
Keep making me think, Mr. Brown. I appreciate it.
Cheers Frank. I can imagine there are often some funky comments over at Andy Beal’s place, too, but for the most part looks like they have full respect for the conversation. And that’s what it’s all about, at the end of the day.
Danny – thanks for interrupting your “regular programming” for this plea to the better side of humanness. I posted my thoughts on the Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays debate and, while I was not surprised that it struck a nerve, WAS taken aback at how personal and vitriolic the attacks were. And you are so right, the ones that attacked me I shrugged off – I felt at peace with what I had shared and was looking for sharing from others – but the personal attacks on other posters (NOT their posts mind you, but their persons) made my blood boil. I am happy to support a forum for agreement OR disagreement but NOT a forum for childish name calling. Your post here cuts straight to the heart of the matter and I appreciate your sharing it.
I often get blown away by the folks that are making these types of comments, Dixie. If they leave a genuine email address (behind the scenes), I’ll check their sites or blogs out. And you’d be surprised at the level of education, professionalism and more that these guys work to every day.
Then again, going by your experience, maybe not. After all, if you can get heated up about Merry and/or Happy when it comes to Christmas…
Extremely fair Danny. Nice write-up.
.-= Eric D Brown´s most recent blog post …CIO Bad Habits – Still valid 7 years later =-.This is precisely why I continually advocate that blogs of all sizes and shapes institute content/comment policies. Here’s a link to my policy, for instance, linked in the top navigational bar of my site. I created it in December 2008, as I wrote at the time.
This way, all are protected and such blog posts are merely reminders of the policy.
.-= Ari Herzog´s most recent blog post …How I Find Blog Post Ideas – and You Can Too =-.Sigh!
The more things change, the more things stay the same. I have been involved in technology since the ’80′s.
Having to wear fire retardant underwear on the old BBS (bulletin board systems) and then the early Usenet newsgroups was de rigeur.
It is unfortunate that even in this new millennium that too many seem to think that they can build themselves up by trying to tear others down.
PS & thanks to @ericdbrown for pointing me to this!
Regards.
.-= Elliot Ross´s most recent blog post …We Can’t Always Give What They Want =-.Ha, man, I remember these days well, Elliot! Guess some things never change – just like a classic movie, dates may change but lines stay the same.
This may be a carryover from what we’re seeing in the inappropriate online comments at newspapers. I recently wrote about this, as well as as some very good measures being taken to address it, including community self-monitoring: http://businessesgrow.com/2009/11/11/social-media-and-the-freedom-to-hate/
I am going to be appearing on a panel later this month examining where we need to draw the lines on blogging and your post has helped me crystalize some thinking in this area. Thanks, DB!
.-= Mark W Schaefer´s most recent blog post …Thought-provoking social media trends =-.Cool, look forward to hearing the after thoughts from your talk, mate. I’ll be popping over to check out your take as well; know I’ll always find the good stuff over your place.
Danny,
I discovered a long time ago that most commenters that feel the need to slip into personal attacks – well they lack the ability to defend their position.
Easier to tear someone down than to think through and articulate a position.
Feeble minds feebly trying to matter.
Couldn’t agree with you more Frank. And this isn’t just a problem online, its something that happens everywhere. You get into a heated debate with someone on topic and when they have nothing valuable to bring to the discussion they begin to attack personally rather than their ideas.
Feel free to attack my lack of proof-reading…
.-= Ross´s most recent blog post …Five Complaints You’ll Hear about the New Facebook Layout =-.I’m trying to find your typo, Ross – is it the apostrophe between its? I wouldn’t have noticed if you never mentioned
And LOVE your picture, fella
It’s very childish indeed to attack other commenters. Such selfish act only reveals the arrogance and ignorance of the person perpetrating it.
Good job, Sir Danny Brown. Sometimes the comments over here get real feisty! It’s a testament to your own passion that you rouse up the rebels, thinkers, debaters and even the cuddly trolls.
Keep up the great work. Somebody has to. I trust you’ll do the job quite nicely. As you have done for a long time.
[This is an unpaid for comment. Eventhough it seems to clearly favor Danny Brown.]
.-= Christina Kingston´s most recent blog post …The Death of Sex =-.Hmm, “cuddly trolls” – wonder if there’s a market there for beanie dolls to sit next to your computer when blogging?
When there is no price to admission some people think its a free-for-all. I’m glad to see you defining the value of your domain and setting house rules.
Many people watch from the sidelines while others get beat up. That’s simply not acceptable.
Good for you Danny.
Best,
Justin McCullough
twitter.com/leader4hireI hear you on that, Justin – I’ve seen way too many so-called “A-listers” allow anything to go on their blogs that it makes me question why I should listen to anything they say.
I see the community as a blog’s loyal customers (even though there’s maybe no sale involved). And we all know what happens to a business that doesn’t look after its customers…
First…..Respecting social etiquette vs. flaming, there is significant wisdom in having a range of 2nd comments – or comments to comments, particularly when it comes to unusually good or bad ones. It is just that people are getting smart – and realize how those ‘glowing’ comments are most likely placed with self-subscribing intentions.
Now, regarding your articles, I think they are great from the perspective that they are getting people to think about what real ‘influence’ power social media brings to play, versus thinking about from the perspective of being a ‘joiner’ – which is the primary market perspective of the millennial generation for this media (because most of them are joiners).
By contrast, most businesses do not recognize that the majority of bloggers are older than 45, and that – this socially active generation (past the child-rearing years) are the ones with more powerful written content…. Just because they more have experience to talk about…. And their influence is greater, because their wisdom is clearly reflected in their style and personal (vs. academic) experienceS.
It’s actually quite easy to leverage the most from embracing social media marketing – it’s more influential than conventional media – the last elections should tell anyone that. The way to understand all this is to see it as a ‘social techno science’ between (1) the technology, (2) the activity profile of the participants, and (3) objectives you are seeking to attain. And I’ll get to all that in a minute, but first a quick ‘reality check’.
Business are and should be afraid of social media marketing as it is NOT the familiar one-way conversation, but the conversation is the market…. and that conversation should anything but Advertising! By contrast, the major objectives of this media are centered around… places where people get what they want from other people, versus anything too corporate – like the inner company blog… which means “No Advertising” – at least none that which is self-inflating.
This is the world of people getting support from other people, getting advocates of your ’cause’ (technology, services as a category versus a corporate identity), giving helpful advise or criticism vs. just praises, and a willingness to just get down and be personal.
Likewise, it’s important to see things from the ‘defense’ or ‘necessary evil’ perspective: People are talking about your business everyday – there is nothing you can do to stop it. They also expect you as a caring listening business to seek out their ‘public’ conversations, and respond.
Put another way, if you do hear a big griper and pro-actively respond and fix their problem, the likelihood is pretty good that they will also turn around and become one of your biggest advocates…. and aren’t those are the ‘real’ stories people want to hear about?
By contrast, if you do not respond, but they expect you to find them and do so, your ‘apparent’ lack of concern is a strike against you, from their point of view (and their followers also).
From another marketing perspective, this is similar to long tail marketing but with a ‘twist’ – that being that really social participants are typically aligned with 5-6 other networks, at multiple depths, and that 20% group also represents the highest level of influence.
Hi Phil,
You won’t get any arguments from me about having “second comments”, as you’ll see from most of the posts here – comments are part of the important lifeblood of a blog. But there’s a limit to conversational disagreement, and that’s something I won’t allow here.
With regards the stats re. average blogger, Technorati’s State of the Blogosphere 2009 would disagree:
http://technorati.com/blogging/article/day-1-who-are-the-bloggers1/
60% are under 44 years of age, which bears testament to the growing Gen Y blogosphere.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views, appreciated.
Another thought provoking post Danny, thanks.
I also think you can tell a lot about a blog, very quickly, just by looking at the type of comments it attracts.
All the best sir!
.-= Jim Connolly´s most recent blog post …How to set your marketing goals so they motivate you! =-.Hey there mate,
Hmm, wonder if my recent Audi post reflects that my blog’s going the wrong way?
You’re right, though – a community comes from the blog and the blog feeds the community. Have no love for either and it’ll soon show.
Thanks for popping by, always a pleasure to see you fella.
Danny a post that was well put. People need to remember that each one of us has valid opinions. One of the things I really believe in and have been trying to explain to people is respect in social media. To value other people’s opinions and learn from them. They are equally as right as you to feel what they feel.
Thank you for showing the community respect.
Well done!
.-= Rob Cairns´s most recent blog post …A Review – Twitter Power – Joel Comm with Ken Burge =-.Hi Danny
My Son Danny just turned 13 and even he wouldn’t say really off the wall hurtful unnecessary things to people. This is actually my first time here I was reading another post and this caught my eye because I said let me go convince myself that once everyone GETS HOT they switch up their comment policy or do follow to no follow etc and Low and behold the exact opposite. I don’t know nor want to about what went down with the Goofs leaving nasty comments but You Sir have conducted yourself as a Gentleman and I can see why I have been seeing your name POPPING all over You MUST be Irish anyway appreciate the nice surprise and I thought my commenting system was pretty liberal but I really liked your whole thought process on commenting Peace
Thanks
.-= John Sullivan´s most recent blog post …Top Ten Hottest Blogs =-.Hey there John,
Nice to have you over here, and hopefully we’ll continue to see more thoughts from you.
Sounds like your son has his head in the right place; I’m pretty sure there must be research out there on the psyche of comment trolls, would love to take a deeper dive into it sometime.
Thanks again, fella, and have a great rest of week!
PS – I’m Scottish, but we’re off the same kin
I think that if you can’t make your point in an adult manner and be prepared to agree to disagree I’d assume you not leave a comment at all.
Thanks for the post Danny – well said.
It’s a real shame that some people cannot express themselves and their point of view without personally attacking others.
nicelly said
I also welcome all type of comments on my blog, wheteher they agree or disagree, fortunatelly I never had the my commenters attacking each other, and I hope I never will!
Just for clarification, what do you consider “attack” and what qualifies as “reasonable disagreement with” a fellow commenter?
I’ve been a part of many comment threads where some real light was shed through disagreements in the discussion. Of course, when there’s friction, you’re going to get some heat and some light – hopefully more of the latter than the former.
So where do you draw that distinction? Is it a function of the attitudes and openness of the participants? Some would consider it “rude” to even raise a question of another on a neutral venue.
.-= Ike´s most recent blog post …Who Needs Avatar? We Already Live In Parallel Universes =-.