Picking Your Fights

A couple of thoughts here. You cannot control whether your "opponent" will fight with respect and dignity, but you can. The decision to fight or surrender should be made with a long-term vision in mind - for the relationship and for your self-respect. Nice one, Danny!

A couple of thoughts here.

You cannot control whether your "opponent" will fight with respect and dignity, but you can.

The decision to fight or surrender should be made with a long-term vision in mind - for the relationship and for your self-respect.

Nice one, Danny!

Great post Danny, Even the struggle withing of whether to fight or not is in itself A fight. I have often fought for what I believe, to be understood, for others who needed help. When I look back, many of those battles could have been avoided or resolved with a better outcome if I had only approached them differently. Not from a position to defend, but from a sense of wonder and question. From a desire to understand. From that desire, even battles that end, do so without sinking both ships.

Great post Danny, Even the struggle withing of whether to fight or not is in itself A fight. I have often fought for what I believe, to be understood, for others who needed help. When I look back, many of those battles could have been avoided or resolved with a better outcome if I had only approached them differently. Not from a position to defend, but from a sense of wonder and question. From a desire to understand. From that desire, even battles that end, do so without sinking both ships.

Danny,

I love this post. And I agree with what Mickey said. Walking away does not mean surrender.

I had a dear friend I worked with in education for many years. When we discussed something that I knew the answer to, she would say, "No, you're wrong."

I would let it go. But it was fun to see the a-ha moment when she discovered her mistake. No words were exchanged but she knew and I knew. For me personally, I'd just rather that people discover truths for themselves.

Maybe that kind of thing comes with aging, huh? And deciding which battles are worth fighting and do we really want to die on this hill?

Danny,

I love this post. And I agree with what Mickey said. Walking away does not mean surrender.

I had a dear friend I worked with in education for many years. When we discussed something that I knew the answer to, she would say, "No, you're wrong."

I would let it go. But it was fun to see the a-ha moment when she discovered her mistake. No words were exchanged but she knew and I knew. For me personally, I'd just rather that people discover truths for themselves.

Maybe that kind of thing comes with aging, huh? And deciding which battles are worth fighting and do we really want to die on this hill?

Danny, I love this post. And I agree with what Mickey said. Walking away does not mean surrender. I had a dear friend I worked with in education for many years. When we discussed something that I knew the answer to, she would say, "No, you're wrong." I would let it go. But it was fun to see the a-ha moment when she discovered her mistake. No words were exchanged but she knew and I knew. For me personally, I'd just rather that people discover truths for themselves. Maybe that kind of thing comes with aging, huh? And deciding which battles are worth fighting and do we really want to die on this hill?

How much do I love the picture you chose for this post, Danny? :D

It can be completely exhausting to defend your beliefs over and over and over again, especially when you "know" that you're right. The trouble is, the other person typically "knows" that they are right, too. ;)

I'll add that, online or offline, walking away from a fight doesn't necessarily equate with surrender. Sometimes it's the smartest thing to do. While the person instigating (or perpetuating) the fight may believe they've won, often the people watching would disagree.

Thanks for yet another thought-provoking post!

How much do I love the picture you chose for this post, Danny? :D

It can be completely exhausting to defend your beliefs over and over and over again, especially when you "know" that you're right. The trouble is, the other person typically "knows" that they are right, too. ;)

I'll add that, online or offline, walking away from a fight doesn't necessarily equate with surrender. Sometimes it's the smartest thing to do. While the person instigating (or perpetuating) the fight may believe they've won, often the people watching would disagree.

Thanks for yet another thought-provoking post!

How much do I love the picture you chose for this post, Danny? :D It can be completely exhausting to defend your beliefs over and over and over again, especially when you "know" that you're right. The trouble is, the other person typically "knows" that they are right, too. ;) I'll add that, online or offline, walking away from a fight doesn't necessarily equate with surrender. Sometimes it's the smartest thing to do. While the person instigating (or perpetuating) the fight may believe they've won, often the people watching would disagree. Thanks for yet another thought-provoking post!

Very intriguing Danny, these types of posts don't ordinarily pop up unless there is a back story ;)

The problem with fighting, if you don't keep a cool, head you succumb to the fog of war. So fixated on a particular point we are trying to make, we often don't notice the solutions in front of us or the time at which we walk away.

Something I keep in mind, if you are in a fight, you need a game plan. If developing a game plan isn't worth the time and energy, the choice to walk away becomes so much easier. (Helpful when people attempt to start arguments in blogs and forums)

Oh and that Lego picture deserves an applause, it brought back great memories of playing Lego Star Wars on the PS2 back in the day.

Very intriguing Danny, these types of posts don't ordinarily pop up unless there is a back story ;) The problem with fighting, if you don't keep a cool, head you succumb to the fog of war. So fixated on a particular point we are trying to make, we often don't notice the solutions in front of us or the time at which we walk away. Something I keep in mind, if you are in a fight, you need a game plan. If developing a game plan isn't worth the time and energy, the choice to walk away becomes so much easier. (Helpful when people attempt to start arguments in blogs and forums) Oh and that Lego picture deserves an applause, it brought back great memories of playing Lego Star Wars on the PS2 back in the day.

Provocative post, Danny! It sort of captures why I temper my discourse (not without conflict and some sadness) on online social spaces, including, to a lesser degree, my blogs. Though I may have strong opinions and beliefs and feel passionate about them, I've learned that public discourse often unravels quickly and can be too consuming and less than constructive -- fights I'll (mostly) stay away from...for now :-)

Provocative post, Danny! It sort of captures why I temper my discourse (not without conflict and some sadness) on online social spaces, including, to a lesser degree, my blogs.

Though I may have strong opinions and beliefs and feel passionate about them, I've learned that public discourse often unravels quickly and can be too consuming and less than constructive -- fights I'll (mostly) stay away from...for now :-)

Provocative post, Danny! It sort of captures why I temper my discourse (not without conflict and some sadness) on online social spaces, including, to a lesser degree, my blogs.

Though I may have strong opinions and beliefs and feel passionate about them, I've learned that public discourse often unravels quickly and can be too consuming and less than constructive -- fights I'll (mostly) stay away from...for now :-)