What I Learn From My Daughter
In life and in business, we’re constantly learning.
New knowledge; new ideas; new viewpoints. Anyone that says otherwise is missing out.
After all, when we stop learning, we (or our business) simply die. Your competitors are always learning; so should you.
But where do we learn from?
Where do we get the inspiration to make the changes we need to, and where do we learn how to do things right, and what may not be?
For me, it’s my little girl.
Even though I haven’t seen her since before her first birthday (she’ll be eight next January), she continues to teach me a lot about myself, and how I do business.
Nothing is Forever
Before my daughter was born, her mother and I split up. We had different views on the future, and it wouldn’t have been fair on our daughter to stay together. So we went our separate ways. My ex-partner then moved to be with her parents, and didn’t want me to have access.
Cut a long story short, despite trying through legal channels, I still don’t have access and the country my daughter is in doesn’t recognize U.K. law where this all started. So, always at square one.
But that’s taught me that nothing is forever, and patience is a virtue.
At some point in the future, my daughter will be old enough to make her own decisions. She can find me if she wishes, and I’ll make it as easy as I can to make it happen if she wants it.
It reminds me that you don’t always have to have something now, no matter how much you want it.
- Your business can still thrive long after early struggles.
- Your blog will get the readers and interaction you crave.
- Your promotion at work is still possible, even if you missed this time around.
We all want things to happen right now. That’s natural; that’s human nature. But the best things really do come to those who wait.
We Don’t Know Everything
When I was younger and full of romantic idealism, I always believed that we find love, settle down, have children and live happily ever after.
Obviously I soon learned different. Love doesn’t conquer all; happily ever after is often just for fairytales. What we think we know soon meets life’s reality.
I thought I knew how I’d raise my daughter. The stories I’d tell her. The hopes I’d help her build and achieve. The weekends we’d spend just doing whatever came up, since that’s how we roll.
But we don’t know everything, and what we think we did doesn’t come to fruition.
And that’s okay. Because we learn, and understand, and adapt.
- We tell our clients we’re unsure of something, but we’ll work it out together.
- We read our blog’s comments and see something new we didn’t know before.
- We listen to our bosses, because as much as they can be an ass, sometimes asses just make sense.
Because we don’t know everything, we make sure we learn what we need to, to know at least something. And that’s an advantage right away.
My daughter isn’t physically in my life at the moment, but she is in it in every other way, every single day. Every thing I do is for her, and any other kids I may have.
Because of that, I’m always learning. And asking. And (hopefully) growing. And I feel a better person for it.
How about you – where does your learning come from?
55 Responses to “What I Learn From My Daughter”
Hey there Jennifer, thank you. And sorry again we didn’t get a chance to meet this time – next time for sure.
All I can say is wow and thank you for THIS post. I can only imagine how difficult that post was to write, but beyond writing it, I am awed by how you find insight and inspiration in the kind of challenge that would crush a lesser man. Thank you for that very personal and very touching piece.
Michael Schechter recently posted…. Resolve and GNJ Look To Make Green Relevant To The Rest Of Us
You know, I actually found writing this post very therapeutic. Some days are harder than others, but we all have these, right? I’m just glad to have the chance to be inspired from afar
Hi Danny – Thanks for sharing this story. I’ve also learned many lessons from something that happened in my life that most people would coin as tragic. Yes, I’ll always be sad that things didn’t turn out the way I would have liked them to, but I am now a stronger person. Call it cliche, but I’m a firm believer in the “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” mantra. When tough things happen in life, we have two choices – we can drown in sadness and remorse, or we can learn something from the experience and move on from it as a better and wiser person.
Trust me, I know it’s much easier said than done!Thanks again for sharing this important lesson.
Nikki Stephan recently posted…. 140conf Detroit – More Than a Michigan ConferenceSorry to hear your example didn’t work out, Nikki. Couldn’t agree more on the “what doesn’t kill us” ethos – as you say, if we can still breathe, we can still have much to share.
Two of my heroes are Christopher Reeeve and Michael J. Fox, and seeing what they accomplished through adversity always makes me appreciative of just what I have.
Stumbled on your blog killing time before the weekend. Good stuff. This post is very sweet. I always say I learn more about business from my kids than I ever did in school (especially management). Thanks for your honesty, and sharing.
Marie recently posted…. a day without technologyThey’re clever little buggers, huh, Marie? We gotta keep our eyes on them for sure
Danny,
I love your train of thinking here. I am a firm believer in second chances. And third. And fourth. So, yes, nothing is forever. Your adorable little girl will be a young woman in not too many years (believe me. it whooshes by!) and what a sweet reunion that will be.
And your second point, the fact that we don’t know everything—if we admit that—can bring us so much closer to people—to our families and our clients. And it opens up a truly collaborative, problem-solving mindset. I taught gifted students for 5 years and from time to time (okay, a little more frequently than that), one of them would ask me a question I couldn’t answer. All I could say was, “I don’t know. I wonder where we could find the answer.”
So the two things your daughter taught you are profound and have significant applications in our own lives and in our businesses.
What a heartfelt post. Thanks.
I love your mindset, Judy – chances aren’t limited by numbers. I should try and work to that sometime – I know I’m guilty of possibly closing the door too early on things I could maybe handle better.
Thanks for the push.
Very nice Danny.
We’ve become a society that expects things ‘right now’ and many aren’t willing to put in the necessary effort to learn, grow and achieve.
Hope you get physically close to your daughter in the near future.
Eric D. Brown recently posted…. IT & Marketing – Like Peanut Butter and JellyCheers, Eric.
I read somewhere once that we’ll soon remove the word “Please” from our everyday dictionary because it’s redundant through expectation of rights. We can but hope not…
Thanks for sharing a bit of your own life’s learnings here, Danny. And for opening up, offering a glimpse of your humanity — in life, business, et al. I believe in Karma — it all comes full circle. Cheers.
Hey there Rayna,
Thank you. I’ve always said my wish for this blog is to be a human connection tool, whether that’s via business, personal or other topics. It’d be remiss of me not to lead in that aim
Danny,
This was a very thoughtful post. I believe there’s something each of us can learn from most people we come in contact with. Sometimes, one just needs to ponder and reflect on what the learning actually is.
Eric Buchegger recently posted…. Response cached until Sat 14 @ 23:29 GMT (Refreshes in 23.98 Hours)Agreed, Eric.
That’s the great thing about human nature – we’re naturally curious so that leads us to connect more. The hope then is to learn from each other once connected.
I know I do from everyone that comes here.
Wow.
I’m at a loss for words. I didn’t know you had a daughter. And that’s where my learning comes from: from people who exist in my life and who I learn a new thing about every day.
Ari Herzog recently posted…. Remove Clutter and Improve YourselfCouldn’t agree more, Ari. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical or digital relationships – everyone has something to bring to our lives.
Danny, thanks so much for having the courage to share something so personal and the insight (and strength) to learn from it and make it into something positive.
This was a profoundly moving post – I’ve been thinking about it for hours. And I know this wasn’t your intention, but it’s also a great reminder for us to be gentle with each other, because we never really know what other people are going through.
Hi Mickey,
Thanks. I was once friends with someone that died of AIDS. No-one knew he had it (except for his close family), we all thought he had a food problem. Like you say, we never really know what’s going on – and it can be a shame that we don’t.
Danny you must be nuts for baring everything on your blog. But you really practice what you preach and I totally respect that. I’m sure you’ll be reunited with your daughter sooner than later, and thanks for sharing the lesson with us.
It’s good to go a little loco now, no?
Besides, as you say, it’d be hypocritical of me if I preach to be open and honest, yet don’t follow that through myself.
Thanks, sir.
VERY moving post Danny. Like so many other readers I had no idea you had a daughter and as a father of two I can’t even imagine 8 years going by without them in my life.
But as you do so often you have taken what most would see as a negative and turned it into a positive. It’s people like you and posts like these that inspire me and remind me why I love the internet marketing community so much.
I hope someday you and your daughter are reunited and you can share with her the strengths she has given you. Cheers friend!
Mike Wilton recently posted…. The Most Comprehensive Guide To Setting Up and Optimizing A WordPress Blog EVERThanks Mike.
Hey, will you be sharing the Twilight love with your girls when they’re old enough to see the movies? I imagine it must be pretty cool to have a dad that has such cool tastes in side projects.
Danny, I actually have one boy and one girl, but I’m sure if they are interested I’ll share it with them. By the time they’re old enough to care though I’m sure there’ll be some new craze our there and my side project will be long dead.
Oops, sorry mate!
Maybe it’ll be Kids of Twilight TV show, and how the kids of the original books get on in the new age of peace between vampires and werewolves?
One more thing I wanted to note that I just noticed when sharing this post on Facebook is that it was interesting to realize that if you look at your picture in the header of your blog with the picture of who I am assuming is your daughter, it looks as though you’re looking down at her. Kinda neat how that worked out.
Ha, yeah, I did notice that once posted. Couldn’t have worked out better
Touching post, Danny, and thank you for the courage to share it with us. I find that when I talk about personal things on my blog, it seems to touch the heart of someone else. There is always someone who says, wow, I didn’t know anyone else went through that.
For me too, when I write that kind of post, it is therapeutic. Cathartic and freeing to an extent. Thank you again for sharing. Blessings on the future with your daughter.
Julie Walraven | Resume Services recently posted…. Sabotage! Is your family derailing your job searchSome of my favourite blog posts have been when the blogger’s obviously opened up and let us into his or her life.
I may not do it often, but I will definitely show all of me when writing (hopefully).
Thanks, Julie.
Geeze Danny, I felt every word of this post – shedding a few tears with you bro. In due time this empty space will be made full and your joy will be overflowing…
Mark Harai recently posted…. Building Long Term Business SuccessThanks, sir. Obviously that wasn’t the intent, but thanks.
By the way, you look completely different without your normal facial hair pic
As someone else already wrote, wow. You often share insightful posts but this one really took me by surprise. As a parent of a toddler, I learn so much from him and the process of teaching him things is like putting a mirror in front of myself. I discover a bit more about me in the process. I appreciate that you told us about your daughter. At a minimum, this blog will be a great way for her to learn about you. And I like Mike’s observation that your photo does seem to have you looking down upon her.
Have a good day. AndreaHi Andrea,
I like your analogy of it being like putting a mirror in front of yourself. They say our kids are often our parent’s child – how we live affects how they grow up.
Gotta make sure we do it right
Courage to write this.
Patience to wait.
Love from afar.
Inspiration to others.
Great teacher.
All the reasons I’m proud to call you friend Danny.
Frank Dickinson recently posted…. Coffee Conversations- Step Away From The Keyboard!Right back at you sir – cheers
Danny – we have a lot more in common than I ever imagined.
One thing I’ve learned from my own son is that the moment is all we have. How much can I listen, encourage and learn from him?
The same is true in business, and with the relationships we have with our customers.
The other thing is that, with wisdom,courage and strength, broken hearts become bigger hearts. And we have to love our customers too. No?
John
John Haydon recently posted…. How to resize your custom Facebook Page images in less than 90 seconds videoAll of the above of what you said, mate.
Agree 100% that the moment is all we have, that we have to make use of every piece of time. It’s a reason I’ve culled so much waste from my life – personal, professional, blogging (as in those I read), etc.
And yes, if we don’t love our clients, we may as well let them go.
Danny – curious: Have you heard anything about her in 7 years?
John Haydon recently posted…. How to resize your custom Facebook Page images in less than 90 seconds videoSadly not, apart from where she is (roughly).
Danny, this post brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea… and I can’t even imagine what it must be like.
I learn TONS from my kids, the first thing being, exactly how much patience I have (or don’t have).
I learn that every moment must be a source of joy, or what’s the point?
I learn that a hug and kiss can make anything better.
And so many other things. I’m sure I could write an entire book if I took the time and trouble to try.
By reading this post, I’m reminded that I should cherish every moment I’m with my children. One will be off to university in a couple of years. The other will be off to JK in a few weeks.
Thanks for sharing, Danny Brown.
Lexi Rodrigo recently posted…. Excerpts from A Video Blogging WebinarYou have a kid who’s going to Uni shortly? Wow, Lexi, what’s your secret?
Amen to the continued learning – and I’d buy that book from you
Danny, she will come. One day She will come. I know, she will
All the best!
- EveI’m sure she will, Eve – thanks
G’Day Danny,
Every so often someone says something to remind you how fortunate you are. Your post about you daughter just did that for me. So….. thank you.
I don’t know if this will help, but it was the great John Wooden who said “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”
Look after yourself.
Regards
Leon
That’s a great phrase, Leon, and one I didn’t know – going on my Inspiration Wall, cheers!
I disagree. Love DOES conquer all. EVENTUALLY.
Hang in there!
Mark W Schaefer recently posted…. Why so much research about Twitter is flat-out wrongDanny, count me as one more blown away by your openness, courage, insight and big big heart. I’ve often heard that definition of humility is “being teachable.”
When we don’t get what we want, and we’re willing to learn from it — that’s where true character and real growth of the soul happens. I’m certain that your best is yet to come. I will hold that vision for you.
Kat Jaibur recently posted…. How I rollI like that definition, Kat. Hopefully we’re all “teachable” – it’d be nice to think so, anyhoo.
Jeez Danny, this post blew me away. Your openness to share such an important part of yourself for us all to learn something from is so generous of you.
I know you were linking your story to business matters as a learning point, but as a mother to a six year old son, there is a lesson here on not to take for granted that I have him physically here with me each and every day.
Thank you. Appreciate you putting yourself out there and making us stop and think.
Ali Davies recently posted…. Is it Time to DisconnectHi Ali,
Thank you. And I agree – I think sometimes we can all be guilty a little of taking too much for granted. I always thought my favourite uncle would be around as a kid; yet he was killed in a car accident when he was 23. We never know when a change is going to happen.
Thanks again, Ali, appreciate you stopping by.
Danny–
My heart goes out to you — and to your daughter, who’s missing out by not having her dad in her world. Uncertainty may be constant in life, but hopefully having lots of people around who care about you helps to navigate these challenges.
If there’s anything I can ever do to help, just ask.
Daria Steigman recently posted…. 7 Tips for Optimizing Your LinkedIn Brand
Danny,
This is profound, and the love you have for your daughter shines through. I hope she will be able to see that, if not now, then someday.
Thanks you for sharing such a personal part of yourself to help others learn a very important lesson.
Cheers to you, my friend!
Jennifer
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