You Scratch My Back

August 23, 2010 66 Comments

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the price of comfort How much information is free information?

How much should be guarded and how much should be shared?

If you’re asked by someone, “How do you do this?” or “What methods work for you?”, should there always be an answer?

Say you receive a request from someone asking about some of your business practices or approaches.

Do you always offer an answer, or do you feel uncomfortable giving them one?

Is there a limit on help or is it part of the whole relationship building approach to social media?

Take it offline as well. It isn’t just restricted to social media.

We build relationships every day because we want to help people and be helped where needed. We offer our experience and ask for that of others when we become stuck.

Some relationships move to a higher level than others. Some may even become akin to partnerships without the legalese to say so.

Yet is there a time to draw the line at how much free help is offered? Is there some help that should be viewed as a business service?

Where’s your line drawn?

photo credit: Genista

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Filed Under: Insights Tagged With: advice, Business, free rides

About Danny

Danny Brown is Chief Technologist at ArCompany and an award-winning marketer and blogger. His blog is recognized as the #1 marketing blog in the world by HubSpot. Danny is also co-author of Influence Marketing: How to Create, Manage and Measure Brand Influencers in Social Media Marketing.

78 comments

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Pamela Rosenthal

Hi Danny,
This is a great topic. I go through this a lot and I tend to spend a lot of time providing business advice to friends, acquaintances and potential clients -- social media, research, web sites, job search or whatever. However, what separates the good experiences from the bad and what makes me feel good vs. "used" is the approach that people take when they initiate contact with me. If you are a true potential client with an actual business need, then I'm happy to talk to you...in fact, I'll bend over backwards to help you. If you are a friend who needs advice for personal matters or even business matters, then fine I'm totally there for you. However, if you are a friend who's in a role at a company and you're tapping into my expertise repeatedly to help you do your job, then you need to hire me as a consultant. If you're a random person who has never met me and you request something from me like information about how my company is doing xy and z without giving me any context so that you can use this information in your upcoming presentation, then that's a huge turnoff. Finally, if it's clear you're soliciting the world for the same advice and I'm just getting a form letter from you, then I will not feel good about interacting with this person.

At the end of the day, it's all in the communication style. People who are gracious, upfront, thankful and respectful of my time get my attention! :-)

Pamela Rosenthal

Hi Danny, This is a great topic. I go through this a lot and I tend to spend a lot of time providing business advice to friends, acquaintances and potential clients -- social media, research, web sites, job search or whatever. However, what separates the good experiences from the bad and what makes me feel good vs. "used" is the approach that people take when they initiate contact with me. If you are a true potential client with an actual business need, then I'm happy to talk to you...in fact, I'll bend over backwards to help you. If you are a friend who needs advice for personal matters or even business matters, then fine I'm totally there for you. However, if you are a friend who's in a role at a company and you're tapping into my expertise repeatedly to help you do your job, then you need to hire me as a consultant. If you're a random person who has never met me and you request something from me like information about how my company is doing xy and z without giving me any context so that you can use this information in your upcoming presentation, then that's a huge turnoff. Finally, if it's clear you're soliciting the world for the same advice and I'm just getting a form letter from you, then I will not feel good about interacting with this person. At the end of the day, it's all in the communication style. People who are gracious, upfront, thankful and respectful of my time get my attention! :-)

Pamela Rosenthal

At the end of the day, it's all in the communication style. People who are gracious, upfront, thankful and respectful of my time get my attention! :-)

Jeremy Victor

Danny,

My approach is to always be helping. Our tagline is - We Help You Make Good Media.

It's just in my nature to be that way. That said, I also follow my instincts. If I feel someone is taking advantage of me and the help I am offering without any intent of reciprocating, (in at the very least picking up the phone when I am in need), then I speak with them about it. Not in a way that is harmful, but one that is open and honest about how they are making me feel.

I focus on building trust and sharing my knowledge and experience. By helping them my goal is to create an advocate that will either generate direct income from that person/company, or through word or mouth referrals from them.

Danny

Gotcha.

Yep, that's definitely a line that can be easy to cross, and I'm guessing one where many find themselves having to maneuver more often than not.

Jeremy Victor

Nope, that's not really what I meant in a general sense.

I was referring when the situaion becomes such that the person is really close to crossing the line and continually going to the well for your help for their own self interest. Basically taking advantage of you -- and likely even failing to say thank you most of the time.

Danny

You raise an interesting point, Jeremy. Should help only be offered with the understanding it's reciprocated at some point?

My view is no, but curious if that's what you meant?

Jeremy Victor

Danny, My approach is to always be helping. Our tagline is - We Help You Make Good Media. It's just in my nature to be that way. That said, I also follow my instincts. If I feel someone is taking advantage of me and the help I am offering without any intent of reciprocating, (in at the very least picking up the phone when I am in need), then I speak with them about it. Not in a way that is harmful, but one that is open and honest about how they are making me feel. I focus on building trust and sharing my knowledge and experience. By helping them my goal is to create an advocate that will either generate direct income from that person/company, or through word or mouth referrals from them.

Danny

You raise an interesting point, Jeremy. Should help only be offered with the understanding it's reciprocated at some point? My view is no, but curious if that's what you meant?

Jeremy Victor

Nope, that's not really what I meant in a general sense. I was referring when the situaion becomes such that the person is really close to crossing the line and continually going to the well for your help for their own self interest. Basically taking advantage of you -- and likely even failing to say thank you most of the time.

Danny

Gotcha. Yep, that's definitely a line that can be easy to cross, and I'm guessing one where many find themselves having to maneuver more often than not.

Lynne Bastow

I often give free advice. Those you help will recommend you to others. Those who try to take advantage are like parking tickets... not worth getting annoyed about. Funny enough the more free advice I give the more business I get.

Lynne Bastow

Danny

I guess the main problem is folks that don't realize they're taking advantage, even when suggested otherwise... ;-)

Lynne Bastow

Danny

I guess the main problem is folks that don't realize they're taking advantage, even when suggested otherwise... ;-)

Davina K. Brewer

Danny, It's an interesting take off on the "can I pick your brain" debates I guess.

One thing is the "service" aspect. When I go to a local wine shop, and the owner knows my name, takes the time to recommend and help me find a bottle, that's excellent customer service.. and her job. If she wasn't that way, I'd take my business elsewhere.

Just got off the phone with a client–unscheduled meeting–giving a lot of good advice, really helping him think through some upcoming projects strategically. Good service on my part, combined with valuable advice that comes down to billable time for me.

The flip side, I sent an email this morning as a follow up to some "friendly" advice I gave to a potential client. That advice was free, but taking the relationship beyond the friendly to the professional, then it gets billable.

As the consultant, it is my job to "Let me Google that for you" just so long as the client, you realize that it's your job to pay for that time. Guess that's my new line, FWIW.

Danny

Great point about the service side of any "agreement", Davina. Although I guess you're still buying the wine, so technically there is a billable on it ;-)

I don't think too many folks will argue with what should be included in any package. I think it's more geared toward, "Okay, when does this become more than just a friendly chat".

I've seen this become more prevalent lately, and it's been interesting watching how folks adapt.

Davina K. Brewer

Danny, It's an interesting take off on the "can I pick your brain" debates I guess.

As the consultant, it is my job to "Let me Google that for you" just so long as the client, you realize that it's your job to pay for that time. Guess that's my new line, FWIW.

Davina K. Brewer

Danny, It's an interesting take off on the "can I pick your brain" debates I guess. One thing is the "service" aspect. When I go to a local wine shop, and the owner knows my name, takes the time to recommend and help me find a bottle, that's excellent customer service.. and her job. If she wasn't that way, I'd take my business elsewhere. Just got off the phone with a client–unscheduled meeting–giving a lot of good advice, really helping him think through some upcoming projects strategically. Good service on my part, combined with valuable advice that comes down to billable time for me. The flip side, I sent an email this morning as a follow up to some "friendly" advice I gave to a potential client. That advice was free, but taking the relationship beyond the friendly to the professional, then it gets billable. As the consultant, it is my job to "Let me Google that for you" just so long as the client, you realize that it's your job to pay for that time. Guess that's my new line, FWIW.

Danny

Great point about the service side of any "agreement", Davina. Although I guess you're still buying the wine, so technically there is a billable on it ;-) I don't think too many folks will argue with what should be included in any package. I think it's more geared toward, "Okay, when does this become more than just a friendly chat". I've seen this become more prevalent lately, and it's been interesting watching how folks adapt.

Brian Yanish

Things I live by when giving advice.

1. Start with, Here's what I'd do ....
(most cases the person asking doesn't have time or knowledge)

2. Always leave breadcrumbs

3. ....

I'd like to tell you more but got run have a meeting with a client. ;)

Find me on Twitter http://twitter.com/MarketingHits

Brian Yanish

Things I live by when giving advice.

1. Start with, Here's what I'd do ....
(most cases the person asking doesn't have time or knowledge)

2. Always leave breadcrumbs

3. ....

I'd like to tell you more but got run have a meeting with a client. ;)

Find me on Twitter http://twitter.com/MarketingHits

Brian Yanish

I like to leave them wanting more and the more is what I charge for.

Danny

How you finding #3 working out, Brian? ;)

Brian Yanish

Things I live by when giving advice. 1. Start with, Here's what I'd do .... (most cases the person asking doesn't have time or knowledge) 2. Always leave breadcrumbs 3. .... I'd like to tell you more but got run have a meeting with a client. ;) Find me on Twitter http://twitter.com/MarketingHits

Danny

How you finding #3 working out, Brian? ;)

Brian Yanish

I like to leave them wanting more and the more is what I charge for.

Kim Kolb

Danny, Great Post and the Comments have been awesome! I think we all WANT to help people. If one of my close friends asks me a question about Social Media, I don't hold back, I give them the info they want because I know that if someone else comes to them they will recommend me.
For someone that may be a potential client, we have gotten burned several times with giving a very inclusive proposal for work and then they take all the work we did and go find someone who will be less expensive...And in those times we have to look at the finished work they had the "other " company do and well, let's just say you get what you pay for.
We have started to pull back on the amount of info we give. If I can't answer it in a para or give you a link that you can go learn yourself, then it is billable. We started a support plan and some have taken advantage and some not... But the ones who did will benefit.

Danny

That's a great point about the burn aspect, Kim. At what point does a query become a competitor? I'm all for the "there's enough work for everyone" mantra, but does that mean we should be doing that work all the time for others? ;-)

Love the support option idea, by the way.

Kim Kolb

Danny, Great Post and the Comments have been awesome! I think we all WANT to help people. If one of my close friends asks me a question about Social Media, I don't hold back, I give them the info they want because I know that if someone else comes to them they will recommend me. For someone that may be a potential client, we have gotten burned several times with giving a very inclusive proposal for work and then they take all the work we did and go find someone who will be less expensive...And in those times we have to look at the finished work they had the "other " company do and well, let's just say you get what you pay for. We have started to pull back on the amount of info we give. If I can't answer it in a para or give you a link that you can go learn yourself, then it is billable. We started a support plan and some have taken advantage and some not... But the ones who did will benefit.

Danny

Kim Kolb

Jessica Nunemaker

Money isn't everything. I live and breathe "small town" so when a mom and pop business is using the wrong kind of page for their business, or has questions about using social media, I have no problem answering. I like to see the little guy -- who very often DOESN'T have the resources or the time to hire professional services or study up -- to succeed. It's just a nice thing to do and, really, it's the small town way! You never know where it will lead...

Danny

Agree completely, Jessica, money isn't everything (and we've put very affordable small business workshops together that would normally only be available to larger organizations). After all, the biggest businesses had to start somewhere, right? ;-) Though at some stage, even small town bills need to be paid (I grew up in a very small Scottish town, so know where you're coming from on the small town mentality). ;)

Jessica Nunemaker

Money isn't everything.

I live and breathe "small town" so when a mom and pop business is using the wrong kind of page for their business, or has questions about using social media, I have no problem answering.

I like to see the little guy -- who very often DOESN'T have the resources or the time to hire professional services or study up -- to succeed.

It's just a nice thing to do and, really, it's the small town way! You never know where it will lead...

Danny

Though at some stage, even small town bills need to be paid (I grew up in a very small Scottish town, so know where you're coming from on the small town mentality). ;)

Jessica Nunemaker

Money isn't everything.

I live and breathe "small town" so when a mom and pop business is using the wrong kind of page for their business, or has questions about using social media, I have no problem answering.

I like to see the little guy -- who very often DOESN'T have the resources or the time to hire professional services or study up -- to succeed.

It's just a nice thing to do and, really, it's the small town way! You never know where it will lead...

patmcgraw

If the request is to learn more about my experience, capabilities and possible approach to a project - no charge. If we get to the point where a specific need is presented to me, I will provide them with an action plan that includes clearly stated objectives, time line with milestones and budget. Sometimes, when the project is too loosely defined for my comfort, I might include some time at no charge for discovery and I make it clear that what I learn during that time may impact my proposal. If someone repeatedly asks for my expertise and recommendations, and they are someone that can hire me, I tell them after 2 or 3 requests that '...I suggest you put me on retainer and we make these meetings a regular event...' If they make repeated attempts and can't hire me, I either continue to meet for personal reasons or I limit my availability to two or three times a year.

Danny

Seems like a solid enough approach there, Pat - may have to "borrow" some. ;-)

patmcgraw

If the request is to learn more about my experience, capabilities and possible approach to a project - no charge.

If we get to the point where a specific need is presented to me, I will provide them with an action plan that includes clearly stated objectives, time line with milestones and budget.

Sometimes, when the project is too loosely defined for my comfort, I might include some time at no charge for discovery and I make it clear that what I learn during that time may impact my proposal.

If someone repeatedly asks for my expertise and recommendations, and they are someone that can hire me, I tell them after 2 or 3 requests that '...I suggest you put me on retainer and we make these meetings a regular event...'

If they make repeated attempts and can't hire me, I either continue to meet for personal reasons or I limit my availability to two or three times a year.

patmcgraw

If the request is to learn more about my experience, capabilities and possible approach to a project - no charge.

If we get to the point where a specific need is presented to me, I will provide them with an action plan that includes clearly stated objectives, time line with milestones and budget.

Sometimes, when the project is too loosely defined for my comfort, I might include some time at no charge for discovery and I make it clear that what I learn during that time may impact my proposal.

If they make repeated attempts and can't hire me, I either continue to meet for personal reasons or I limit my availability to two or three times a year.

Danny

Seems like a solid enough approach there, Pat - may have to "borrow" some. ;-)

Jim Connolly

Interesting post Danny. I often receive emails / comments from service providers, bitching about the amount of free time they give away - As if this were some kind of tap they were unable to turn off. Ultimately, you can't expect others to see the commercial value of your time, unless YOU stop giving it away for free to every individual that asks. I give a ton of free advice away every day via my blog. Most of the marketing questions people ask me can be found there, along with answers. However, when people use my comments section to try and garner free advice, I almost always refuse. Time is our most precious resource. I can either invest 30 minutes writing a blog post that has the potential to help thousands, or use that same time helping one person.

Danny

That's a great point, Jim, and agree completely. Where I'm coming from on this is when folks perhaps contact you as a follow-up to a post, looking for you to expand on examples, success rates, etc. Then offer some ideas how they could maybe implement. I'm all for offering "free" through the blog, and as I mention to Zach earlier, if you're offering something, you shouldn't really complain when folks take you up on it. It's the other part of the equation that becomes "fun"... ;-)

Jim Connolly

Interesting post Danny.

I often receive emails / comments from service providers, bitching about the amount of free time they give away - As if this were some kind of tap they were unable to turn off.

Ultimately, you can't expect others to see the commercial value of your time, unless YOU stop giving it away for free to every individual that asks.

I give a ton of free advice away every day via my blog. Most of the marketing questions people ask me can be found there, along with answers.

However, when people use my comments section to try and garner free advice, I almost always refuse.

Time is our most precious resource. I can either invest 30 minutes writing a blog post that has the potential to help thousands, or use that same time helping one person.

Danny

That's a great point, Jim, and agree completely.

Where I'm coming from on this is when folks perhaps contact you as a follow-up to a post, looking for you to expand on examples, success rates, etc. Then offer some ideas how they could maybe implement.

I'm all for offering "free" through the blog, and as I mention to Zach earlier, if you're offering something, you shouldn't really complain when folks take you up on it.

It's the other part of the equation that becomes "fun"... ;-)

Jim Connolly

Interesting post Danny.

I often receive emails / comments from service providers, bitching about the amount of free time they give away - As if this were some kind of tap they were unable to turn off.

Ultimately, you can't expect others to see the commercial value of your time, unless YOU stop giving it away for free to every individual that asks.

I give a ton of free advice away every day via my blog. Most of the marketing questions people ask me can be found there, along with answers.

However, when people use my comments section to try and garner free advice, I almost always refuse.

Time is our most precious resource. I can either invest 30 minutes writing a blog post that has the potential to help thousands, or use that same time helping one person.

Danny

That's a great point, Jim, and agree completely.

I'm all for offering "free" through the blog, and as I mention to Zach earlier, if you're offering something, you shouldn't really complain when folks take you up on it.

It's the other part of the equation that becomes "fun"... ;-)

Lesley Aveyard

I have fallen 'victim' to giving a lot away. I generally use this method now as a rule:

If I can answer the question there and then over the phone, F2F or in an email without needing to look anything up, do any reasearch or 'draw' any diagrams, then it's free. Questions are usually on 'How do I...on Twitter' etc.

If I have to look something up, prepare a document, or support my reply with anything other than a sentence or two, then it's chargeable.

My aim is to smplify Social Media and help individuals 'manage' their online presence so it doesn't take up too much of their time. By showing them 'How', 'Where' and 'What' to do, I slice endless hours off the learning and understanding of Social Media engagement.

If individuals totted up the amount of time they spend trying to get to grips with Twitter etc and understanding how to network and connect with meaning on LinkedIN and worked that out as chargeable hours to themselves, they may be shocked. My hourly rate is not a 'consultancy' rate.

Its hard to draw the line somethimes - I am naturally generous and helpful!!

I have made a 'rule' though and I am trying to stick to it :)

Danny

Agree with Davina here - great way to break down what you do and don't, and what the bext steps are from there.

Cheers, Lesley. :)

Davina K. Brewer

Lesley, Same boat. My professionalism, strive for better work causes me to give too much away. Love your point on if you have to do research, send an email.. and the difference between the hourly rate and consultancy rate. Thanks for that reminder!

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