Enchanted Disillusionment
We get easily distracted by shiny new things.
We see something that gives us the “Oooh” ripple of excitement, and we buy into the premise. For a while, everything is good. We see only positives, and ignore the (in hindsight) questionable.
But then the cracks appear.
Faults that had always been present start to become clearer. Actions and non-actions reveal a side that we had previously ignored, but now can’t be ignored any longer.
We start to ask the questions of the shiny new thing that should have been asked from the start.
The reactions of the questioned tell us a lot about what our own next steps are.
Do we continue the relationships? Do we accept the faults? Do we look at workarounds? Do we bite the bullet and wait for things to improve?
Or do we cut the ties and accept it was good while it lasted, but some things just weren’t meant to be?
Questions and decisions are an everyday part of our lives, personally and professionally. Some are easy to answer; others, not so much.
How we decide defines how we move forward. Decide right, and we continue to grow. Decide wrong, and we often never recover.
Are you making the right decisions for you?
image: Oberazzi
As humans, we are incredibly gullible. We always have new desires to satisfy and we believe a lot of what people tell us on how to satisfy them. It's one of our biggest drawbacks as thinking and feeling beings. Great post, and I will try to be less disillusioned in the future (I really will!)
Steven Hey there Steven. I don't think there's anything wrong in being disillusioned if we don't set as high expectations. Perhaps, instead of stopping being disillusioned, we ask ourselves if we're allowing glitz too much thought?
thought provoking this Sunday morning...
Thanks my friend.
When we have so many options to choose from making good decisions can be even harder. True we can be blinded by shiny object syndrome and wake up later to discover we missed the obvious flaws. But seeing the cracks may not be about perceptual blindness but rather simply because there are things we don't know we don't know until we dive in and learn more.
Everything and everyone has cracks. We have to keep choosing as we learn and see more.
Like John what is more important to me in the end is the relationship - are the people I hire or the people behind the products I use interested in being partners in our mutual success; does their vision for their product or service match what I think I will need to be able to grow with them rather than out of them.
SusanMazza Great points, Susan. I guess if the cracks were visible from the start, we'd never jump into the relationship(s) to start with? ;-)
And yes, the strength of a relationship can always overcome the cracks, as long as they don't become San Andreas Fault proportions! :)
It's a bugger, Danny. No product's perfect, but every product is advertised as if it is.
Take WordPress. It is no where near as good as it's made out to be (fanbois are gunna flame me!). There's plenty of cms and blogging platforms out there that are better. And for me better means, first and foremost, the user-friendliness.
WordPress is not user friendly. Custom fields anyone? Formatting and layout in the page/post editor? Media management? etc. Even Matt M admitted as much when wp3 was released.
And then there's the whole theme system... Thesis, Builder, Genesis, Headway etc etc etc are all making good money because people are looking for a user-friendly way to have control over how their site looks, rather than some off-the-shelf theme that 1000 other sites are using.
But none of those frameworks are perfect either. All make life easier, but all in their own way. And for developers, all are a lot easier than coding a theme from scratch - and therefore save time and money for clients.
But like any software, upgrades can cause conflicts.
Personally, I only upgrade plugins on client sites if I really have to (no matter how the site's theme has been constructed). Likewise upgrading WP.
The thing is, we often upgrade just for a bit more shiny, and then pay the price when the new shiny isn't backward compatible with something. It's the nature of software.
Changing products, software in particular, will always bring new challenges. No software does everything. And products leapfrog each other all the time.
Changing to something else that's a bit shinier isn't always cost effective and in fact can be quite expensive.
Also, if you are using a beta of a software, than you should always expect problems. And even x.0 versions too.
Rule #1: Don't make decisions based on beta or x.0 versions of software unless your business can't wait. And then be sure the alternative does everything you need.
More often than not, switching is simply "out of the fry pan into the fire".
I know you've been having problems with the next Headway, but it is a beta product still. The beta process is for finding bugs and incompatibilities. We really appreciate you taking part and helping us find things we need to fix.
Without the help of people crazy enough to be beta testers, we'd have to release 2.0 onto the market and cross our fingers. Which we probably will anyway coz Murphy's a bastard.
PS Sorry for crapping on! I think my response is longer than your post! Sorry :S
chrishoward Hey there Chris - nothing wrong with long comments, mate, especially when they're full of great thoughts. :)
Funnily enough, I actually like WordPress from a CMS point-of-view for the exact reasons you don't. But then I'm not a developer or coder, so I could well be missing out on the things that bug you :)
I agree, often moving from one thing to another can be like jumping out of a frying pan and into the fire. I guess that's part and parcel of the risks involved in anything - nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I have been frustrated, like you mention, but I've also been hugely appreciative of the support from your good self as well as Clay. It's one of the reasons I like Headway, and even if I was ever to stop using the theme on here, it's one of the reasons I'd continue to recommend to others as well as clients. :)
That's always a valid question is nearly every aspect of life. Life is decisions, and usually, those who make the best decisions consistently tend to see more success. Great write up, an idea we should always consider.
JMattHicks I wonder if a Decision Maker could be a vocation, Jeremy? Kinda like a marriage counselor or a career counselor - but one that protects you from idiocy? ;-)
DannyBrown HA! Wouldn't that be awesome! We can only dream, right? ;)
Hi Danny! For me the answer lies somewhere between your two questions. In any longterm relationship it is inevitable that those "cracks" you speak of will begin to appear. I do not think that it is wise or responsible to ignore the frustrations or just quietly hope that things get better. However, I think that simply cutting ties and moving elsewhere may also lead you to a less than satisfactory experience. My approach has always been to ask questions. And to listen (really listen) to the responses. Strive to understand the causes and perhaps even help to be a part of the solution. Just because your image is not what it once was, does not mean that your current
Seldom in life are you truly shackled to the choices you make. They may not be exactly what you want, but they are indeed choices. So if after all that questioning and listening you are not finding what you need, than as John says, part ways respectfully.
ValerieSimon Great points, Valerie. You can't beat a good bit of soul searching, and then bringing your thoughts into the open to get feedback and other views. That's the beauty of a good relationship - you've nurtured that option of opinion. Would be a shame not to use it. :)
Hi.. Danny..
I am not much of a bling bling type.. sometimes I annoy myself with how predictable I can be.. Need to take a little more risk.. Working on it.. tehe..
I have found myself sticking with some relationships way to long. And it ended up with some personal and financial emotions. I guess I was blinded by the carrot that was hanging in front of me.
Today I do a lot more cross testing, plus with Social Media I find the info I need so much faster. This helps me take some calculated risks.
I see you are trying out Livefyre and Digg Digg. Dynamic plugins like Digg Digg is little distractive for me. I like better Static Plugins.
Guess I have the same relationship with Disqus as John has with Seesmic. Though I have to admit Seesmic Desktop 2 is just freaking awesome!
I don't know if I am making the right decisions now, but I am having a blast and working on scaring myself with diving into deep water. How is that for a extreme Libra??
Cheers.. Are
AreMorch Ha, you're a Libra too, mate? Ditto! :)
Agreed on how sticking with the wrong relationships too long affect you both personally and financially - never a good mix.
I actually had to stop using Digg Digg for now through a conflict with the new Headway beta - the side-scrolling share options are something else. :)
Like you say, as long as it's a blast then it's still fun. When the blast diminishes to a sparkler, well... ;-)
Danny - I've run into this experience myself.
To me, what's more important than the shiny object - with all its imperfections - is the relationship with the vendor or developer. For example, Seesmic has many competitors, and it might be tempting to switch when either I'm not happy, or when something better comes along (Tweetdeck and others). But I like where Loic is headed and using Seesmic tools is a way for me stay connected with that vision.
JohnHaydon Oh, for sure, mate - the relationship is a key factor. But we also shouldn't be blinded by that when it impacts on our effectiveness by remaining with that vendor.
DannyBrown For sure. If the product itself isn't a good fit, then part ways respectfully.
