“Haters Gonna Hate” Or A Lame Assed Cop Out?

Danny

Okay. What I dislike about you is you post too bloody much blog posts within a short space of time.I can't get my timing down yet to make sure I don't forget to visit this blog on a daily basis.

You kicked it in the teeth again no violently with your feather slippers. Lame excuse for real. Haters Gonna Hate. Reminds me of the OG Symbol you get on Klout if you were an early adopter. I am not of course cough, cough :)

Feedback is absolutely uncomfortable if you don't know yourself.

Clearly important for that feedback to be given/received in an appropriate and respectful manner. But it is the most underrated aspect of improving. Too many people tell us what we want to hear. And we can't grow as people, businesses or in a world that is closed to valid, challenge.

As an ex - government economic adviser/employee this was a constant reasons why politicians and senior managers got so much wrong. In that environment people were just blinded by the overarching fact they just wanted to keep their jobs. And to a point I understood it. I never had a problem telling them my views and challenging behavior. I got burned a few times because I was out of order. But I won a few too. Most important was the feedback I received from the people who were on point. That helped me grow and become better and for that I am truly grateful.

Haters Gonna Hate. Your are right. Overused cliche that has no relevance to our reality. We live in prosperous, fabulous places and become too complacent.

Kudos Triple Hat Tip for bringing the word. Danny

There's nothing wrong with healthy debate - it can be a lot of fun. The problem is when people start calling the other names, just because they have a different point of view.That's just stupid!

Nice post, Danny. Love the spirit in the comments. :-)

That's right. It's ok to have opinions about things, but haters are just haters. Their opinions are not very objective (yeah i know opinions are subjective but still...), they just find arguments to hate something because...they are haters.
The drawing illustrates that very well.

Lame Ass Cop Out! I spent an hour today discussing this with a client who wants to either block comments that don't agree or just ignore them. I finally said, if you just want to make a speech with no open Q&A get out of social media. If you're not going to have the entire conversation why be in a conversational media? Publish a book or something.

Isn't the conversation one of the biggest advantages social media has opened up?

People like easy, people like to think they don't need to change evolve. Saying "haters gonna hate" is a nice way to let them stay in their fantasy world that they do no wrong.

We all need opinions.. constructive opinions help you be better at what you do.

Any athlete that wants to seriously become a pro. will always choose to train with a Pro player or team rather then people beside or below them...Why?

They know training with people who are better will get them the criticism, opinions, training they need to be better.

Hi, Danny.

As a person who loves smiling and making friends, I just can't understand why there are people who get driven by that HATE word. I see no sense in it. Why do they need to be haters? Why do they hate?

There are so many good things in the world to stop people from hating, no matter how difficult their circumstance. If only these people will see that there are ten good things to one of the things they hate, the world would definitely be a better place.

Hate is a big word Danny.
I think people use it a bit too easily. The examples you give of people experiencing hate is right on. Disagreeing nicely in an online forum is hardly hate.

This reminds me of the story about Galliano and his anti-semitic rant. He got struck down under French law for 'hate speech'. There are laws here which will land you in jail if you incite hatred towards a minority. It's a serious matter which has led millions to their death in Europe over the centuries.

Now back to online, disagreeing with someone and presenting a new approach to something isn't hate. Period.

People need to learn what hates means, your examples should help with that.

Nice Danny.

Without opposing viewpoints, this world would be boring.

I almost loathe the 'yes...I agree' comment about as much as the 'haters gonna hate' comment. Tell me why you agree or disagree with me :)

If you don't agree with me, but tell me why you disagree and I'll do the same. Lets discuss, debate and disagree....that's whats fun about the world of blogging.

Danny - I completely agree with your sentiment of opposing view points being of value to both the writer and the audience. Sometimes a writer needs to be critical to engender discussion and encourage counter points.
But I also agree that a "hater's gonna hate" is indicative of a person who has either tired of or run out of ways to support their argument. Its essentially an ad hominem response. There are ways to be critical without being personal - I've seen you do it and do it well. What would solve this issue is if we could support one another when we admit we're wrong. Now THAT would take the hate right out of the haters.

Yeah, you nailed it with the words "cop out." All of these terms like "haters gonna hate" or accusing people of flaming (when they are just disagreeing) are just mildly disguised ad hominem arguments -- attacking the arguer instead of the argument.

Funny timing for me, I just finally posted a comment policy on my blog a few hours ago. Perhaps I should go back and add "Refuting any argument with the expression haters gonna hate" to the list of inappropriate comments. :)

Good post Danny. Needed to be said.

I think this points to that buzz word.. yea that one.. authenticity. Responding to instead of pushing it off as "haters gonna hate" is the authentic thing to do. It's real stuff. This is real talk. These are big boy (and girl ;)) channels.

Debates are great, provided people aren't disrespecting the crap out of others.

I'm #withit

Haters gonna hate. ;P

I totally know where you're coming from, Danny. It's a shame some people take that sentiment literally. True, there are people out there so miserable in their own inadequacies as to hate on others (as if that, in any way, makes them right or improves their situations), and those people should receive less of our attention once attempts to help them are exhausted, but this is no reason to hastily write off opportunities for vanity's sake.

To that end, every time I see someone say "Haters gonna hate," I'm reminded of the movie Idiocracy (which everyone should watch at least twice, by the way) and respond with "Baters gonna 'bate." :)

I think that, if used properly, it does have merit if it's said another way.

"Critics are going to be critics."

As a writer, you have to get over the fact that you're going to be criticized and keep writing. I think that this is the intended message of the saying. Although, as you pointed out, it often morphs into something else entirely.

"Haters gonna hate" is just another form of it. However, it often replaces actual dialogue and that is a detriment. But if not this saying, then it will be another. People are going to be defensive of themselves and of people or things that they like.

They'll do this to their own detriment.

It's irritating beyond belief for the one who commenter who managed to point something out, but if that's the way it is there, then you're better off leaving anyway.

Danny

Okay. What I dislike about you is you post too bloody much blog posts within a short space of time.I can't get my timing down yet to make sure I don't forget to visit this blog on a daily basis.

You kicked it in the teeth again no violently with your feather slippers. Lame excuse for real. Haters Gonna Hate. Reminds me of the OG Symbol you get on Klout if you were an early adopter. I am not of course cough, cough :)

Feedback is absolutely uncomfortable if you don't know yourself.

Clearly important for that feedback to be given/received in an appropriate and respectful manner. But it is the most underrated aspect of improving. Too many people tell us what we want to hear. And we can't grow as people, businesses or in a world that is closed to valid, challenge.

As an ex - government economic adviser/employee this was a constant reasons why politicians and senior managers got so much wrong. In that environment people were just blinded by the overarching fact they just wanted to keep their jobs. And to a point I understood it. I never had a problem telling them my views and challenging behavior. I got burned a few times because I was out of order. But I won a few too. Most important was the feedback I received from the people who were on point. That helped me grow and become better and for that I am truly grateful.

Haters Gonna Hate. Your are right. Overused cliche that has no relevance to our reality. We live in prosperous, fabulous places and become too complacent.

Kudos Triple Hat Tip for bringing the word. Danny

By the way Danny, many haters don't have any argues to become a "good" hater, and, without a good reason that i insult you, you're nod called an hater, maybe an idiot.

There's nothing wrong with healthy debate - it can be a lot of fun. The problem is when people start calling the other names, just because they have a different point of view.That's just stupid!

Nice post, Danny. Love the spirit in the comments. :-)

Danny,

I love it Brother! in studying human behavior, there is always one things that rings true. If a person recognizes something about another person, then the recognizer has that thing which was recognized. For those who don't get what I'm saying... If you see that someone is a liar, then you are also a liar. You can not know that which you don't understand.

To use the example given: If you say "Well, I don't lie!", then know this... Choosing not to act out a behavior is knowing that behavior well enough not to act on it. Have fun with that!
Bruce

That's right. It's ok to have opinions about things, but haters are just haters. Their opinions are not very objective (yeah i know opinions are subjective but still...), they just find arguments to hate something because...they are haters.
The drawing illustrates that very well.

Lame Ass Cop Out! I spent an hour today discussing this with a client who wants to either block comments that don't agree or just ignore them. I finally said, if you just want to make a speech with no open Q&A get out of social media. If you're not going to have the entire conversation why be in a conversational media? Publish a book or something.

Isn't the conversation one of the biggest advantages social media has opened up?

Speaking as a woman who spent a year in Afghanistan... You nailed it.

Very good point well made. It is all too easy of a cop out and you see it all the time on the big blogs. Worse still is the stories where the bloggers start making themselves more of the story and am seeing that a lot these days. Disagree in any way and you are a hater!

It's a copout, an excuse to not even try to consider the other side. Hate is something else, as John said that word gets misused. A healthy, productive online debate is not hate. Chris, Margie, Gini, Bruce all have it right that there will be opposing views, that's part of the Internets.. and one of the good things about being part of an online community IMO, you actually learn different things. That is if you're about the conversation like Ann Marie, talking with others rather than just yelling at them. Maybe you will end up 'agreeing to disagree' but hopefully everyone will benefit from the discussion. John Paul nailed it with his 'fantasy world' comment. I've seen a lot of that in forums and news comments; your Apple cartoon a perfect example. This is what happens when I comment late, I just end up reading the comments.. have nothing new to add. FWIW.

Kinda like being Persian during the hostage crisis, too, as I can attest to first hand. A-list brings on haters? Is that true? Does envy turn to a toppling mentality? Thankfully, I've not experienced this aspect of blogging; hope I don't. Ever.

This is an important post. Haters gonnna hate was a reaction to trolls who don't engage in civil reasonable debate. But the majority of us good guys do. It's so important not to mix the too, otherwise we create a culture of groupthink...which is a terrible terrible fate.