So you’re bored with blogging. You have other things to do – like eat, sleep, go out, work. You know – boring “real life” stuff. Besides, thinking about it, blogging is for computer nerds and failed writers.

Not to worry – help is at hand. Here are 10 ways to kill your blog. Let’s begin.

1. Stop Writing

What? That’s too simple – of course your blog will die if you stop writing? Well, yes, if you stop writing altogether. But be smarter about it – change your writing habits. If you write daily, change to once a week (and vice versa). If you want to lose your readers, confuse them.

2. Be Obnoxious

People like to be respected – your readers are no different. So be obnoxious. This can take many shapes – talking down to them in comment replies (if you reply at all); using made-up words that make you sound wanky; and making them feel you’re a hundred times smarter than they are. Be mean – and keep those pesky readers away.

3. Close Your Comments

People like to be heard, and we especially like to be heard when we read something that either inspires or polarizes us. So take away that option from your blog, and make your site a talking head instead. Unless you’re Seth Godin or Leo Babauta, you’ll soon see your blog’s popularity shrink, wither and probably die.

4. Use Captchas

When I was younger, I used to love stuff like the Rubiks Cube and 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzles. Now, though, since time is a precious commodity, I like things to be simple and easy to do. So install a crazy ass captcha on your blog that no-one can decipher and make people pull their hair out from frustration – great way to scare readers away!

5. Limit the Options

When blog readers read a great post, very often they want to share it. Of course, if you’re trying to kill your blog then you don’t want that sucker shared a lot. So limit the amount of sharing options – instead of making it easy to share on whatever networks the reader wants to, limit it to Facebook and Twitter. After all, they’re the only real social networks that are important to bloggers. Right..?

6. Screw Formatting

Because blogs can be read on different browsers and computer screen resolutions/displays, there’s no real point in formatting your post – it’ll never look good on every reading option. Instead, bunch all your words into one long-ass paragraph; don’t use images; and make your font 9-pixel Copperplate. Job done.

7. Die, Navigation, Die

Think of the world’s biggest maze. Then think of the world’s biggest maze at night. Then think of you trying to navigate the world’s biggest maze, at night, in a blindfold. Now – make your blog’s navigation that much fun, and make it easy for your readers to get lost and not know how to get back home. Lost readers = frustration = see ya!

8. Search What Now?

If you really want to kill your blog quickly, you could even combine a couple of the ways here. For example, if you have crappy navigation, make sure you don’t have a Search Box to at least let your readers find what they’re after. Add in no Archive section and boom, you have one heck of a lost blog happening!

9. Subscribing is for Wimps

When you set a blog up, generally it’ll come with a standard RSS feed. Thing is, the standard RSS feed doesn’t always work on certain browsers, so using something like Feedburner or Feedblitz is better. But you don’t want better – so leave the standard feed and make sure you don’t have any subscribe options in your sidebar. If your readers can’t subscribe, they won’t know when you have a new post. Blog death on the horizon.

10. Repeat Yourself

We all run out of ideas, but often you can find things to blog about to share with your readers. But if you’re trying to lose readers and kill your blog, then you don’t want fresh ideas. Instead, copy a post from your Archives, change the minimum amount of words up, and you have a new-but-not post to pan off on your readers. Tip – don’t use a Related Posts option here, as you can get found out and look stupid.

As you can see, there are a bunch of ways to kill your blog, so you don’t need to worry about pleasing these damn readers of yours anymore.

Of course, if you actually want to have a blog worth visiting, and one that sees you respected and visited and recommended, then ignore all of the above and do the exact opposite.

Your choice.

image: shiner.clay

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438 comments
vicky
vicky

Very captivating. I read through every line and even found myself repeating some. Good work.

TechoTalk
TechoTalk

well now other way is now to do it over optimism and penguin will kill your blog automatically

TechoTalk
TechoTalk

well now other way is now to do it over optimism and penguin will kill your blog automatically

Jennymeyer
Jennymeyer

This can be one of the most useful blogs we have ever come across on the subject. Actually great info! I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your hard work.

Jennymeyer
Jennymeyer

This can be one of the most useful blogs we have ever come across on the subject. Actually great info! I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your hard work.

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sanded02
sanded02

Quite an interesting article telling us what NOT to do. Fantastic Style of writing.

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@John Falchetto@ExpatDoctorMom Is that the same as the 4 Diets a Day routine? I tried that and put weight ON - grrr...

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

You made me LOL with your last sentence.! @John Falchetto

John Falchetto
John Falchetto

@ExpatDoctorMom Hi Rajka, well I think we should stick to sharing advice on stuff we actually know a little bit about. Dishing out health advice has becoming a new trending topic for many bloggers. Leo does have some excellent posts about other topics beside health. I'm going back to my 4hour body routine ;)

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

That is what I love about the blog world, this great community! @DannyBrown john falchetto

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@ExpatDoctorMom Sorry to hear that, Rajka, though I know what you mean about responsibility. It was via the comments on a post from Julien Smith that I met john falchetto and the rest is history. ;-) But yeah, Julien was advising about a diet he was on, with no disclosure that he's not a physician or nutritionist, and there was some dangerous information in the post, had certain people followed it. We have to make sure we're being responsible with all we say online, especially with the ease of access to that information. Scary stuff.

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

oops that sentence was Dr. Mercola has some nice articles on soy for anyone interested.

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

Ok, so I am the 209th comment... Catching up after the summer. I had thought about Leo and his choice not to have comments on his blog. Intially I thought wow, that is great that he can have such a large following without comments... Then I read his article on soy stating that soy in a word is not dangerous. I would have loved to have given him info on this as unfortunately, the verdict is mixed and it depends on the type of soy you are talking about. It is the fermented soy products: tempeh, miso and nato and soybean sprouts which are safe. All the rest is not safe including the milk by virtue of how it is processed. So where a little knowledge is dangerous. But Leo has no comments on his blog so no way to inform him. Dr. Mercola has some excellent articles I have since unsubscribed from his minimalist blog (nice thought but you know my husband has been a minimalist since birth...) I just can't get too excited about this. And will soon unsubscribe from his zen habits blog and stick to the experts. He is not an expert in my eyes. So yes, his lack of commenting killed his blog for me. I just hope his misinformation does not harm others. Regards,Rajka

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

Ok, so I am the 209th comment... Catching up after the summer.

I had thought about Leo and his choice not to have comments on his blog. Intially I thought wow, that is great that he can have such a large following without comments... Then I read his article on soy stating that soy in a word is not dangerous.

I would have loved to have given him info on this as unfortunately, the verdict is mixed and it depends on the type of soy you are talking about. It is the fermented soy products: tempeh, miso and nato and soybean sprouts which are safe. All the rest is not safe including the milk by virtue of how it is processed. So where a little knowledge is dangerous. But Leo has no comments on his blog so no way to inform him. Dr. Mercola has some excellent articles

I have since unsubscribed from his minimalist blog (nice thought but you know my husband has been a minimalist since birth...) I just can't get too excited about this. And will soon unsubscribe from his zen habits blog and stick to the experts. He is not an expert in my eyes.

So yes, his lack of commenting killed his blog for me. I just hope his misinformation does not harm others.

Regards,Rajka

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@3HatsComm I was going to suggest acronymns, but then realized it was tough to spell, so left it out. ;-)

3HatsComm
3HatsComm

So this is what I've been doing wrong (along with being very late to read some posts) .. or right .. or halfway. Relieved you didn't include being snarky or made up acronymns in this, otherwise I'd be in big trouble as I try to skirt obnoxiousness. Glad the comments mentioned lack of or selective comment replies; the lack of comment replies don't always deter me from reading a good post, but they do keep me from commenting (which come to think of it.. may be part of the plan). Making notes for myself, make the search box bigger whenever I get to my extreme blog makeover. FWIW.

3HatsComm
3HatsComm

So this is what I've been doing wrong (along with being very late to read some posts) .. or right .. or halfway. Relieved you didn't include being snarky or made up acronymns in this, otherwise I'd be in big trouble as I try to skirt obnoxiousness. Glad the comments mentioned lack of or selective comment replies; the lack of comment replies don't always deter me from reading a good post, but they do keep me from commenting (which come to think of it.. may be part of the plan). Making notes for myself, make the search box bigger whenever I get to my extreme blog makeover. FWIW.

Insomnia Treatment
Insomnia Treatment

Love number 4 'Use Captchas.' Having just got to the age where I need to wear glasses for reading I am having a bad time with captchas. Refresh, refresh again, refresh one more time and then take a guess before starting the process over. If only they would use real words!

Insomnia Treatment
Insomnia Treatment

Love number 4 'Use Captchas.' Having just got to the age where I need to wear glasses for reading I am having a bad time with captchas. Refresh, refresh again, refresh one more time and then take a guess before starting the process over. If only they would use real words!

Sydney
Sydney

I share your sentiments with the crazy captcha options, my goodness. For that person who created those word combinations, he/she probably has a different version of coherent and legible.

Sydney @ Social Dynamics
Sydney @ Social Dynamics

I share your sentiments with the crazy captcha options, my goodness. For that person who created those word combinations, he/she probably has a different version of coherent and legible.

MirrorDotMe
MirrorDotMe

@DannyBrown Excellent. I agree on those tips, too. (Although I'm often guilty of #4...)

MirrorDotMe
MirrorDotMe

@DannyBrown You should make a post about how to kill your Twitter account!

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@MirrorDotMe Thanks, Jenn, glad you enjoyed - and yeah, I've been tempted with them on Twitter before.... ;-)

MirrorDotMe
MirrorDotMe

These are great tongue-in-cheek suggestions for killing a blog :-) The first few apply to your Twitter account, too. Thanks for sharing and for the smiles! --Jenn at Mirror.me

MirrorDotMe
MirrorDotMe

These are great tongue-in-cheek suggestions for killing a blog :-) The first few apply to your Twitter account, too. Thanks for sharing and for the smiles!

--Jenn at Mirror.me

Kristi Hines
Kristi Hines

@DannyBrown I generally do Paypal... not a fan of trusting checks with snail mail. :)

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@ginidietrich@Leon Hell yeah - are you saying Leon isn't important? Careful, miss, he's a curmudgeon. ;-)

KenMueller
KenMueller

@ginidietrich@DannyBrown tell me about it...

ginidietrich
ginidietrich

@DannyBrown@KenMueller And I'm not good at meeting friends for coffee when I'm 20 miles from their house either.

ginidietrich
ginidietrich

@DannyBrown@Leon You mean to say Leon commenting is what you got you to reinstall?

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@jasonkonopinski Ha, I think we must have visited the same blogs. ;-) Completely agree on the overkill, it probably means less sharing as there are so many options.

jasonkonopinski
jasonkonopinski

@DannyBrown Well said, and a point that I hadn't fully considered. If a blogger understands their audience and where they're coming from, then smaller niche networks certainly make sense. However, I often encounter blogs that include every possible social network in their social sharing plug-in in an effort to maximize their reach with little to no attention paid as to whether those delivery vehicles are worthy of inclusion.

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

@jasonkonopinski Hi Jason, I agree and disagree. Your last sentence explains why people should include Digg, or MySpace, or Reddit - because it's right for *their* audience. In Europe, Bebo is a huge network yet very underused in North America. So if the blogger isn't checking their analytics, and misses the fact that their #1 audience is based in Europe, they'll miss a large chunk of their audience. It's less to do with a blogger being "woefully out of touch" as much as it is being prepared for the needs of their readers.

jasonkonopinski
jasonkonopinski

I want to talk about #5 for a moment. Certainly, you want to be enable your content's shareability across various social networks, but be selective. Understand where your audience 'hangs out' and making sharing to those networks possible. MySpace? Reddit? Digg? Including those suggests that the author of the blog is woefully out of touch and, dare I say, a bit desperate for exposure. I've enabled social sharing on my blog - Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google +, as well as StumbleUpon - because they make the most sense for my intended audience and network reach.

jasonkonopinski
jasonkonopinski

I want to talk about #5 for a moment. Certainly, you want to be enable your content's shareability across various social networks, but be selective. Understand where your audience 'hangs out' and making sharing to those networks possible. MySpace? Reddit? Digg? Including those suggests that the author of the blog is woefully out of touch and, dare I say, a bit desperate for exposure. I've enabled social sharing on my blog - Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google +, as well as StumbleUpon - because they make the most sense for my intended audience and network reach.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown moderator

@ExpatDoctorMom Sorry to hear that, Rajka, though I know what you mean about responsibility.

It was via the comments on a post from Julien Smith that I met @john falchetto and the rest is history. ;-)

But yeah, Julien was advising about a diet he was on, with no disclosure that he's not a physician or nutritionist, and there was some dangerous information in the post, had certain people followed it.

We have to make sure we're being responsible with all we say online, especially with the ease of access to that information. Scary stuff.

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

oops that sentence was Dr. Mercola has some nice articles on soy for anyone interested.

Danny Brown
Danny Brown moderator

@jasonkonopinski Hi Jason,

I agree and disagree. Your last sentence explains why people should include Digg, or MySpace, or Reddit - because it's right for *their* audience.

In Europe, Bebo is a huge network yet very underused in North America. So if the blogger isn't checking their analytics, and misses the fact that their #1 audience is based in Europe, they'll miss a large chunk of their audience.

It's less to do with a blogger being "woefully out of touch" as much as it is being prepared for the needs of their readers.

jasonkonopinski
jasonkonopinski

@Danny Brown Well said, and a point that I hadn't fully considered. If a blogger understands their audience and where they're coming from, then smaller niche networks certainly make sense. However, I often encounter blogs that include every possible social network in their social sharing plug-in in an effort to maximize their reach with little to no attention paid as to whether those delivery vehicles are worthy of inclusion.

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