A Lesson In Smelling Roses At The Speed Of Social Media

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This is a guest post by Bruce Aristeo.

It was late, and after a long day I stretched out my arms, took a deep breath, and let out a huge sigh. My hands reached out and I began clicking, swiping, and typing as my shoulders curled inward around my chest as if humped over in pain.

My eyes were focusing and scanning the screen, my receptors acting as the light on a copy machine, pin-pointing each pixel and assigning the meaning to each symbol creating structure to what I was seeing.

My TweetDeck was doing its usual fly-by, email accounts were reaching out to their respective servers, Facebook Page was at a standstill while deals were secretly being made in the chat area, and my brain was on stimulus overload from subconsciously keeping track of it all.

No television or iTunes music to breakup the live feed chatter streaming into my mind, only this continued dull hum that my defense mechanism creates to keep me sane.

Breaking The Silence of Social Media

Damn, I forgot to check my Google+ account, I was interested in huddling with a new friend and forgot the time.

Exhausted, my graphic designs began to look as if tie-dye was making a comeback from the sixties, loud and no sharp edges, so it was time to take a short break anyway. I opened my Google+ account and clicked through the various areas looking for something to break the deafening silence of watching social media.

A post… Danny Brown? Wow, I forgot he was in one of my circles. Even visiting Danny’s blog on occasion didn’t break the armor piercing rounds of my focus.

You’d think that reading a great story would stop the world, if only for a moment, but each story only enforced the realization of how much time was passing; the visits became fewer as the weeks slid by. My visit to Danny’s articles were long over due, so I stopped to read this post, a chance to smell the roses –so to speak.

A Musical Rose Garden

Huh! Nothing to read, only this posting of a video and a small blip, “Loving this version of ‘Livin’ on a Prayer” from Desmond Child, the guy that co-wrote it with Bon Jovi. Very soulful.”

Okay, I know the song; I grew up in Philly and live in New Jersey. Keep in mind that Social Media was still racing, running, streaming and posting with one eye on the accounts and the other on Danny’s post. I know, …not exactly the full attention I should be giving another human, let alone the artistic expression embedded with a “play” button.

I clicked the play button and the music began, …slowly, …a familiarity to the original yet different. My mind stopped to synchronize my recollection of the original version to this new version. Matching beat, tempo, breaks in the lyrics, but I’m analyzing and still not really free to enjoy the music.

The Shift in Reality

Reality checkVisually, I broke from the video 30 seconds in, scanning other posts.

Something changed, a shift …not what I was looking at, but how I was looking. I was reading and not scanning posts, each one in fact. The music slowed down all my inputs.

Vision, hearing, movement, and thought were as if warped by Star Trek’s “Q” and the Space Time Continuum. I guess I just dated myself…

I began thinking about the speed at which social media moves, and I correlated it with my studies in child psychology.

It’s interesting that my mind and reactions slowed to the tempo of the music.

Reading the posts became something that happened without intention. It was as if walking through a garden, not intending to smell the roses, but they were there and I happen to think of smelling them.

Stimulation: 10 Second Countdown

Studying child psychology was enjoyable because there were answers to that which gave reason to rhyme.

One such study described how television shows, such as Sesame Street and The Electric Company were delivering a 10 second lesson, meaning the child watching would learn something new every 10 seconds. That philosophy gave rise to the theory that children are being conditioned with over stimulation, thus causing attention spans to decrease.

Being a teacher (K-12), I can attest to how much teachers have to add into lesson plans to maintain student attention.

Listen + Communicate = Intimacy

Now, back to us adults. What are we doing to ourselves by over stimulating our senses with the speed of social media? Are we destroying our ability to sit and listen to another Being by conditioning ourselves with communication void of intimacy?

Our children find text messaging each other while in the same room, sometimes next to each other, is more appropriate than speaking.

Intimacy, the bedrock of communication and the factor dividing us from other animals, is not something transmitted through text, email, Tweets, or Huddles. Intimacy is offered from within each of us, as a means to authentically connect and touch one another with the intention of personal growth.

Some might say that intimacy was part of my social media experience. This is true, but was it Danny’s intention to deliver his personal experience in the link? Only he could answer what his intention was, but my experience came from within. I was only reminded of that place of slowing down, …my personal rose garden.

Giving Thanks and Slowing Down

My engagement with Danny, I couldn’t thank him enough for being in the right place at the right time. Although my message of thanks to Danny was brief, I could not verbalize the shift that occurred within me. Danny’s post reminded me of slowing down, taking a breath, and truly seeing and being in the moment.

Of course you hear “Stop and smell the roses” everyday, but do you ever feel it? I did…

As I part from this experience in social media, and I walk away from the roses, I will always keep that particular garden in mind.

The one I walked through when I was exhausted, and the feeling I experienced when stopping to smell the roses…

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Bruce Aristeo

About the author: Bruce Aristeo is an artist, entrepreneur, and a lecturer/teacher of mathematics and psychology. In the spirit of North American Indians, he is a Magician and co-creates the world around him. You can read more from Bruce at AB2BC.Net, or connect with him on Google+ and Facebook.

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About Danny

Danny Brown is Chief Technologist at ArCompany, helping clients turn social media intelligence into business results. He’s the co-author of Influence Marketing: How to Create, Manage and Measure Brand Influencers in Social Media Marketing, described as "the book that will change the way we do business today." He’s an award-winning marketer whose delivered results for organizations like Microsoft Canada, BlackBerry, FedEx, Ford Canada and LG Electronics, and his blog is recognized as the #1 marketing blog in the world by HubSpot.

43 comments
Ab2bc.Net
Ab2bc.Net

Thanks for the compliment Danny!!

Ab2bc.Net
Ab2bc.Net

Thanks for the compliment Danny!!

MelanieKissell
MelanieKissell like.author.displayName 1 Like

Truly delightful piece, Bruce @ab2bc

Water is great therapy for men and women alike. And music has the power to tame the social media beast.

Genuinely admire your writing style,

Melanie

MelanieKissell
MelanieKissell

Truly delightful piece, Bruce @ab2bc Water is great therapy for men and women alike. And music has the power to tame the social media beast. Genuinely admire your writing style, Melanie

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Thanks Bruce! I was feeling this way over the summer where I wasn't stopping to smell the roses at the detriment of everything else... I felt like "taking a break as in breaking up with Social Media" It was starting to rule my life. I started texting and reading emails and tweets GASP while in the company of others! Not the person I want to be.

Still devising a schedule of how to get through it all so I can enjoy what is present and in front of me at the moment!

Best,Rajka

ab2bc
ab2bc like.author.displayName 1 Like

@ExpatDoctorMom Hello Rajka, sorry for the delay in replying... I totally feel you on that note! It seems that scheduling takes as much time as doing the work, thus becomes part of the work I wish to move away from. Thanks to venues such as this (DB) we can all be reminded of the true needs that help us to wake up.

Be Well,

Bruce

ExpatDoctorMom
ExpatDoctorMom

Thanks Bruce! I was feeling this way over the summer where I wasn't stopping to smell the roses at the detriment of everything else... I felt like "taking a break as in breaking up with Social Media" It was starting to rule my life. I started texting and reading emails and tweets GASP while in the company of others! Not the person I want to be. Still devising a schedule of how to get through it all so I can enjoy what is present and in front of me at the moment! Best,Rajka

ab2bc
ab2bc

@ExpatDoctorMom Hello Rajka, sorry for the delay in replying... I totally feel you on that note! It seems that scheduling takes as much time as doing the work, thus becomes part of the work I wish to move away from. Thanks to venues such as this (DB) we can all be reminded of the true needs that help us to wake up. Be Well, Bruce

dentistsinspokane
dentistsinspokane

Great Article! As you can see social network sites are taking advantage of total popularity and the individuals who are involved in these are having immense benefit with that appeal. This, definitely, can be quickly imparted to them by means of social marketing.

KarlWalinskas
KarlWalinskas like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Great post Bruce, thanks! It is so easy to get sucked into the social media vacuum and forget to surface for air. Thanks for the reminder to relax a bit!

ab2bc
ab2bc

@KarlWalinskas Thank you Karl! I hope you find the space to reach for the switch and turn the vacuum off... [giggle]

My best to you,

Bruce

KarlWalinskas
KarlWalinskas

Great post Bruce, thanks! It is so easy to get sucked into the social media vacuum and forget to surface for air. Thanks for the reminder to relax a bit!

ab2bc
ab2bc

@KarlWalinskas Thank you Karl! I hope you find the space to reach for the switch and turn the vacuum off... [giggle] My best to you, Bruce

janebinnion
janebinnion like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Thanks Bruce, I think we all need a reminder to slow down now and then. On line life makes us expect everything to be instant and that can spill over off line and lead to impatience out there.

ab2bc
ab2bc

@janebinnion Hello Jane, I agree ...and I think we all have that instant gratification built in as children. I believe the Internet has only reinforced the opposite of that which great teachers have spent time hoping we'd learn -patience.

Sorry for the late reply... the days have been tiring to say the least.

Be Well,

Just B

janebinnion
janebinnion

Thanks Bruce, I think we all need a reminder to slow down now and then. On line life makes us expect everything to be instant and that can spill over off line and lead to impatience out there.

ab2bc
ab2bc

@janebinnion Hello Jane, I agree ...and I think we all have that instant gratification built in as children. I believe the Internet has only reinforced the opposite of that which great teachers have spent time hoping we'd learn -patience. Sorry for the late reply... the days have been tiring to say the least. Be Well, Just B

Sydney @ Social Dynamics
Sydney @ Social Dynamics like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I felt like I was reading prose rather than the usual text post. It was very visually stimulating, with all those examples and descriptions. But the way we are right now, it is kind of maddening, now that I think about it. We are distracted by so many things, that I feel so sorry for our brains sometimes.

ab2bc
ab2bc like.author.displayName 1 Like

@Sydney @ Social Dynamics Hi Sydney, you touched on something I never thought of before... visually stimulating. I could never figure out why writing was time consuming for me, and you hit the nail on the head! I spend more time associating images in my personal story with descriptions that will convey my message. Most times, I wish the english language never broke away from other languages that are emotionally expressive. I'm jealous of them...

Thank you for you thoughtful comment, and I hope your brain takes a break soon.

Be Well,

Just B

Sydney
Sydney

I felt like I was reading prose rather than the usual text post. It was very visually stimulating, with all those examples and descriptions. But the way we are right now, it is kind of maddening, now that I think about it. We are distracted by so many things, that I feel so sorry for our brains sometimes.

ab2bc
ab2bc

@Sydney @ Social Dynamics Hi Sydney, you touched on something I never thought of before... visually stimulating. I could never figure out why writing was time consuming for me, and you hit the nail on the head! I spend more time associating images in my personal story with descriptions that will convey my message. Most times, I wish the english language never broke away from other languages that are emotionally expressive. I'm jealous of them... Thank you for you thoughtful comment, and I hope your brain takes a break soon. Be Well, Just B

Danny Brown
Danny Brown moderator like.author.displayName 1 Like

Hey there Bruce,

Thanks so much for guesting here with this awesome post, mate. I knew as soon as we chatted on Google+ re. this topic you'd deliver in spades, and clearly you have - such a fascinating area, and one that I think we all can learn from and appreciate.

Cheers, sir!

ab2bc
ab2bc like.author.displayName 1 Like

@Danny Brown

Hey Danny, it is I who much graciously thank you. I place a lot of effort in what I do, and more often than I like, I hurt my shoulder from patting myself on the back. So when you take the time to share what you have built, and place it in trust to me, my only wish is that my efforts can match the expectations of those who follow you. With that said, I am deeply touched by this opportunity... and truly feel as though I have been patted on the back.

Be Well,

Bruce

DannyBrown
DannyBrown

Hey there Bruce, Thanks so much for guesting here with this awesome post, mate. I knew as soon as we chatted on Google+ re. this topic you'd deliver in spades, and clearly you have - such a fascinating area, and one that I think we all can learn from and appreciate. Cheers, sir!

ab2bc
ab2bc

@DannyBrown Hey Danny, it is I who much graciously thank you. I place a lot of effort in what I do, and more often than I like, I hurt my shoulder from patting myself on the back. So when you take the time to share what you have built, and place it in trust to me, my only wish is that my efforts can match the expectations of those who follow you. With that said, I am deeply touched by this opportunity... and truly feel as though I have been patted on the back. Be Well, Bruce

Howie Goldfarb
Howie Goldfarb like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I love this post Bruce. Especially since you are not a typical Social Media Junkie like the ones in my industry. I rarely meet anyone not in PR, Advertising, Marketing, Social Media, or Tech who is as wired as you write. Which means most of us aren't. I get laughed at socially for being on the Twitter. With only 10-15mil active users in the US each day a small minority. Facebook gets 65mil unique log ins here but only 27-30mil are highly active. Also a small minority.

But the 15% of us doing the 85% of social media activity (I quit facebook last week but still blog, tweet a lot, G+ and even got a diaspora invite) live a totally different type of life. It is matrix like and we have different stresses on us, usually self generated. I run a Twitter account for a client. She had no idea that from NY/VT I monitor and respond to her customers from 10am EST to often midnight EST 7 days a week (aside from the help of an intern).

And when I am in VT like I am now at my girlfriends there is spotty cell service here in this part of Mad River Valley and when I drive home to Albany NY there is 1 hr with no service through the green mountains I often stop and sit in the trees happy I am I can not be reached by anyone. It is something I miss. And hope to have again. I grew up in NYC, lived in LA for 17 years after college, now in rural NY state outside the capitol and hopefully moving even more rural to Vermont next year. Glad I can work remote so I completely worship technology for that...but so glad I can unplug and look at the milky way at night. BTW after 17 years in LA I forgot there was a milky way never mind stars 8)

ab2bc
ab2bc

@HowieG No, I didn't see how much they loved the post. Do you have the link?

ab2bc
ab2bc like.author.displayName 1 Like

@HowieG Hey Howie, it sounds like you follow statistics. I'd like to do a study on how many people actually care about social media in relation to simply following the pack. I wouldn't be surprised if the 15% quit, social media would pass...

I'm in the same boat with spotty cell service. The difference is I'm in a major metro area with AT&T. I do love the terrain of VT, one of the most memorable places for me is Mt. Washington. Not in VT, but I did pass through on my way to the highest point on the east coast. Describing the beauty word be an insult because there are no words to express exactly what you experience.

Thank you for the great comment, the kind words, and the sharing you took time for.

Be Well...

Just B

Howie Goldfarb
Howie Goldfarb like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Did you see how much chunk-n-chip loved the post? Even got you a retweet. One of our brand ambassadors retweets all our tweets!

HowieSPM
HowieSPM

I love this post Bruce. Especially since you are not a typical Social Media Junkie like the ones in my industry. I rarely meet anyone not in PR, Advertising, Marketing, Social Media, or Tech who is as wired as you write. Which means most of us aren't. I get laughed at socially for being on the Twitter. With only 10-15mil active users in the US each day a small minority. Facebook gets 65mil unique log ins here but only 27-30mil are highly active. Also a small minority. But the 15% of us doing the 85% of social media activity (I quit facebook last week but still blog, tweet a lot, G+ and even got a diaspora invite) live a totally different type of life. It is matrix like and we have different stresses on us, usually self generated. I run a Twitter account for a client. She had no idea that from NY/VT I monitor and respond to her customers from 10am EST to often midnight EST 7 days a week (aside from the help of an intern). And when I am in VT like I am now at my girlfriends there is spotty cell service here in this part of Mad River Valley and when I drive home to Albany NY there is 1 hr with no service through the green mountains I often stop and sit in the trees happy I am I can not be reached by anyone. It is something I miss. And hope to have again. I grew up in NYC, lived in LA for 17 years after college, now in rural NY state outside the capitol and hopefully moving even more rural to Vermont next year. Glad I can work remote so I completely worship technology for that...but so glad I can unplug and look at the milky way at night. BTW after 17 years in LA I forgot there was a milky way never mind stars 8)

ab2bc
ab2bc

@HowieSPM No, I didn't see how much they loved the post. Do you have the link?

ab2bc
ab2bc

@HowieSPM Hey Howie, it sounds like you follow statistics. I'd like to do a study on how many people actually care about social media in relation to simply following the pack. I wouldn't be surprised if the 15% quit, social media would pass... I'm in the same boat with spotty cell service. The difference is I'm in a major metro area with AT&T. I do love the terrain of VT, one of the most memorable places for me is Mt. Washington. Not in VT, but I did pass through on my way to the highest point on the east coast. Describing the beauty word be an insult because there are no words to express exactly what you experience. Thank you for the great comment, the kind words, and the sharing you took time for. Be Well... Just B

HowieSPM
HowieSPM

Did you see how much chunk-n-chip loved the post? Even got you a retweet. One of our brand ambassadors retweets all our tweets!

ExtremelyAvg
ExtremelyAvg like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I like a good opening act. Your first paragraph made me want to read and enjoy every word of the post. I do the same thing, speed through posts, trying to smash as much learning into a day as possible. Surely, if I don't, I'll fall behind. But it isn't true. The world changes faster than anyone can keep up. So why ruin the goos stuff by trying.

Someone once told me, to be an expert, you don't need to know everything, you just need to know one more thing than everyone in the room. I like that. It means that, on occasion, I am able to enjoy a well written blog...just because it makes me happy to do so.

ab2bc
ab2bc like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

@ExtremelyAvg Hello EA,

Thank you for the kind words and compliments. I too have a saying, which resonates with me, and it that brings me back to earth. The more I think I know, the more I don't know. The realization of that came to me as I was teaching algebra to inner city children who were 3 years behind in their lessons. As I was teaching them, I realized that I forgot what it was like to be confused and frustrated while learning. My honed skills of reasoning caused a change, and the newness of any material had some link that I recognized, and it became the starting point of figuring it all out...

Thank you for sharing your self.

Just,

B

ExtremelyAvg
ExtremelyAvg

I like a good opening act. Your first paragraph made me want to read and enjoy every word of the post. I do the same thing, speed through posts, trying to smash as much learning into a day as possible. Surely, if I don't, I'll fall behind. But it isn't true. The world changes faster than anyone can keep up. So why ruin the goos stuff by trying. Someone once told me, to be an expert, you don't need to know everything, you just need to know one more thing than everyone in the room. I like that. It means that, on occasion, I am able to enjoy a well written blog...just because it makes me happy to do so.

ab2bc
ab2bc

@ExtremelyAvg Hello EA, Thank you for the kind words and compliments. I too have a saying, which resonates with me, and it that brings me back to earth. The more I think I know, the more I don't know. The realization of that came to me as I was teaching algebra to inner city children who were 3 years behind in their lessons. As I was teaching them, I realized that I forgot what it was like to be confused and frustrated while learning. My honed skills of reasoning caused a change, and the newness of any material had some link that I recognized, and it became the starting point of figuring it all out... Thank you for sharing your self. Just, B

Erin F.
Erin F. like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

That was a great song. It let me take a timeout from work for a few minutes.

Thanks for the reminder to stop and smell the roses without overtly saying "stop and smell the roses." :)

ab2bc
ab2bc like.author.displayName 1 Like

Hi Erin,

I'd like to say thank you for taking the time to read... and smell the roses.

Just

B

Erin F.
Erin F.

That was a great song. It let me take a timeout from work for a few minutes. Thanks for the reminder to stop and smell the roses without overtly saying "stop and smell the roses." :)

ab2bc
ab2bc

Hi Erin, I'd like to say thank you for taking the time to read... and smell the roses. Just B

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