Rocks, Foundations and Immediate Communities




Beautiful foundations

One of the things we always talk about in this space we share is support.

How we can encourage our online communities to rise to challenges and how the players on the field encourage others. Yet what are we doing offline with our “immediate communities”?

Are we offering the same support and encouragement to them? Or even thanking them for their support and encouragement to us?

Often we take this support for granted – after all, they’re our friends and family and… well, that’s just what friends and family do, right? We’d do the same for them so there’s no need to recognize it.

But there is.

Every day we get through problems or tough times because of our support networks.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just an email to ask how our day is going, or a helping hand at a challenging time – it’s the presence and thought that offers the actual support, even if we don’t realize it. They’re the rocks and the foundations on which we stand and grow.

My rock is my wife.

She does incredible things every day without realizing she’s doing them. She takes the stress out of my life just by being there, and I probably don’t tell her that enough. If I’m ever backed into a corner and I can only choose one person to have my back, my wife would be it. Every time.

If my wife is my rock, then her mum is the foundation on which she’s built.

There are many mother-in-law stereotype jokes that do the rounds but my wife’s mom couldn’t be farther from them. She was one of the first to be there for my wife and I and she’s never been far from us since then. It’s clear to see where my wife gets her strength and beauty from, both inside and out.

We build online armies every day. Our communities are the rocks and the foundations on which everything stands. We support people we’ve never met (and likely never will) simply because we can.

Yet as strongly as we and they connect, we do so because of the foundations already behind us.

Are you keeping yours strong?

image: zoompict

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I'm here to say that I searched for a "rock" image on Google for the blog Monday, and "Search Plus Your World" provided me with a litany of my network's "rock" images. So, I clicked on a familiar name and came here.

OK. WOW. #ThatIsAll Pressure's on.

I certainly hope so, mate, I certainly hope so.

One of the reasons I took a step back with my online activities was I wanted to take care more of the people who support me online and among these are my clients. I gave them more of my time so they will know that they are more than just clients, they are people who, I should be thankful for.

And, I never, ever compromise my time with my wife and kids with work. If they need me, I make sure that I am there for them. Because I know that at the end of the day, they are the ones who are there for me.

Thanks for reminding us of taking care of our rocks, our foundations and the communities that immediately surround us, Danny. I know that sometimes it is very easy to take them for granted. :)

Ditto for my husband. He is only on Linked In and only just beefing his profile up this week. He doesn't care either!

I may create a website for him as he considers consulting... Or mayb not!

Wow, thanks for the reminder. It is easy to forget your foundation. Like you, it is my spouse. I love bouncing things off of him. Not only is he supportive but adds a different perspective. Thinking about this as we just had a date night last night.

Behind him is my mom and sister: my biggest cheerleaders. It has been harder this past two years we have been away to stay in touch. No excuses though!

You switched back to Wordpress comments? I am behind the times!

I'm with Frank - my wife is my rock. She supports most things I do.
Which makes it a problem for me going online because I've never been particularly social in that way. I haven't had to be.
I'm learning though.

Hi Danny - Thank you for this post. It's as strong as it possibly can be. Both my parents believe in me, but don't exactly believe in entrepreneurship. I believe in myself and others and support them as best as I can with the work that brings meaning to their lives and others.

I support my two girls and work hard to show them that what they love to do can be their career one day. My rock is my boyfriend, Bradley. He cheers me on and supports me. I hope to dedicate a book to him one day.

Sorry, I was giving an example in the first paragraph and then asking an entirely different question in the second.

In other words, what are some practical ways to thank people (supporters, in general other) than in person?

I certainly hope so, mate, I certainly hope so.

One of the reasons I took a step back with my online activities was I wanted to take care more of the people who support me online and among these are my clients. I gave them more of my time so they will know that they are more than just clients, they are people who, I should be thankful for.

And, I never, ever compromise my time with my wife and kids with work. If they need me, I make sure that I am there for them. Because I know that at the end of the day, they are the ones who are there for me.

Thanks for reminding us of taking care of our rocks, our foundations and the communities that immediately surround us, Danny. I know that sometimes it is very easy to take them for granted. :)

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

Perfect point, mate. I was working at an organization that called my wife up when I was seriously ill, harassing her for updates. Their creative director also emailed her at 9.30 in the evening for an update, and asked she get back to him before the end of the evening. All this while she was 7 months pregnant...

Yeah, I walked from there - no-one treats my loved ones like that. Life's too short - we need to make sure we're spending the hours with those we should be.

Cheers, mate, here's to you and yours. :)

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This post really made me realize how much more I appreciate my friends and family offline that really encourage me to do better for myself.

Sounds like on heck of a lady…and her mom too. I have also learned that ultimately, being the rock means lots of things can pile on top of you.

Ditto for my husband. He is only on Linked In and only just beefing his profile up this week. He doesn't care either!

I may create a website for him as he considers consulting... Or mayb not!

Wow, thanks for the reminder. It is easy to forget your foundation. Like you, it is my spouse. I love bouncing things off of him. Not only is he supportive but adds a different perspective. Thinking about this as we just had a date night last night.

Behind him is my mom and sister: my biggest cheerleaders. It has been harder this past two years we have been away to stay in touch. No excuses though!

You switched back to Wordpress comments? I am behind the times!

You know what I love about my wife too, Rajka? The fact that she doesn't care two hoots about social media. Keeps me grounded when she says something like, "Really, what do I care about Google+? Sounds like an electic search car." :)

Yeah, I love Livefyre, but really missed the CSS styling that Lisa from SceneStealer Graphics did for the comments, to fit in with the style of the blog.

Never say never, but for now back on the old native WordPress comment system. :)

I'm with Frank - my wife is my rock. She supports most things I do.
Which makes it a problem for me going online because I've never been particularly social in that way. I haven't had to be.
I'm learning though.

Hey there Chris,

Seems your wife is doing a great job of getting you "out of your shell" too - sounds pretty awesome, sir. Here's to our rocks.

Ha ha, yes. And we can also pretend to be tough ;)

Hi Danny - Thank you for this post. It's as strong as it possibly can be. Both my parents believe in me, but don't exactly believe in entrepreneurship. I believe in myself and others and support them as best as I can with the work that brings meaning to their lives and others.

I support my two girls and work hard to show them that what they love to do can be their career one day. My rock is my boyfriend, Bradley. He cheers me on and supports me. I hope to dedicate a book to him one day.

Hi there Gabrielle,

I think it can definitely be different for parents. They grew up in a generation where computers were big machines that powered space command centers (okay, mine did - yours may be younger!). :)

So the concept of being able to be in business for yourself thanks to online connections, without necessarily having an office or employees, probably seems alien.

Your boyfriend sounds an amazing guy, and I can't think of anything more suited than a book from you - here's to it happening!

Sorry, I was giving an example in the first paragraph and then asking an entirely different question in the second.

In other words, what are some practical ways to thank people (supporters, in general other) than in person?

Hey there Bret,

Sorry - gotcha! I guess it depends, and can be based on the medium.

If it's online, for example, can you write a blog post about them? Make a video for them and share on YouTube? Give them a recommendation on LinkedIn?

If it's offline, how about just a gift, or doing something nice for them with no expectations of reciprocation? Look after their kids while they have a night out?

If you know the people, and you have an idea of their likes or needs, that's a good starting point to thank them with something that's really personal.

Hope that helps!

I can't think of one either Danny. That comment surprised me. Thanks for the reminder. I don't think I show my gratitude enough.

I think we probably all fall into that trap at some time or another, mate. At least if we can spot it, there's hope for us. :)

Craig McBreen 286 pts

Hey Mr. Brown, A very nice post, indeed. Like you, my wife is my rock. Honestly, without her I wouldn't be where I am today. She has always encouraged me, backed me up and listened to all my ramblings (crap). Also, with my father's failing health, my mom has amazed me with her dedication and strength. We are the weaker sex. ;)

So far I've been lucky online, as I've really only met quality people.

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

Craig McBreen You know, the more I live through life and hear about the amazing women in the lives of my friends, the more I agree with you that we are indeed the weaker sex, mate. Ah well - we'll always have beer and wings. :)

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margieclayman 517 pts

Dear Danny,

Whyfore are you bringing tears to my eyes? It is not nice of you.

Really a gorgeous post.

Also, I 100% agree.

Not too long ago, one of my big disenchantments with the online world was that the whole "give to get" maxim seemed to be missing a key part - give. People really tend to bumble around with this concept online (and most likely in the real world, too). There are people who will promote a post of mine on Twitter and literally five seconds later I'll get a DM from them, "Hey, check out this post I wrote!" Not very subtle, that approach.

I do my best to keep in touch with everybody. It's not hard for me because I strive to build real connections with people (often at my peril). I have had some tough knocks as a result, and that's probably good. I have also learned that ultimately, being the rock means lots of things can pile on top of you. You learn to appreciate those little nods and words of kindness a lot more when you are trying to help others bear their burdens.

Great post.

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DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

margieclayman Ha, I just saw your tweet - am I really that mean? ;-)

That's pretty damn cheeky of folks that seem to share just to get a reciprocation - I wonder if they're that way in life, too? I'm guessing so.

The great thing with knocks is that they only make us stronger (if they don't kill us, as the saying goes). And the stronger we get, the less we see knocks as knocks, and more as opportunities to grow.

Here's to your continued growth over knocks, miss.

Even though you did call me a meanie... ;-)

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margieclayman 517 pts

DannyBrown I'm playing opposites today. You're mean and Lisa Petrilli is a liar :D

The only person I genuinely call a meanie is Dan Perez, and that's only cuz he takes pride in it. That's fodder for a different post altogether!

You can write it ;)

Knocks in the online world are good, I think. They knock your rose-tinted glasses off. They make you smarter. It's like my grad school days when I had to choose between hot dogs or the buns because I couldn't afford both - these are the experiences that mold us. Or make us moldy. One of those.

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danielnewmanUV 335 pts

Hey dannybrown Danny - Great article. This has to do with authenticity as well. I meet so many people that are so busy being great online that I can only wonder if they are this way offline.

The people that we physically interact with everyday should be the center of our world. Some may come from online relationships, but many will not.

It is our friends, family, and others...

On Friday I wrote this blog http://millennialceo.com/thoughts-4-friday/thoughts-4-friday-find-happiness/

called find happiness. I rarely promote my own stuff in a comment, but I thought you may enjoy a look.

While the premise is a bit different than yours, I challenge people to consider that real happiness isn't going to come from things. It comes from love and self actualization.

That is what you did here in this post and it may be your best one yet!

Cheers Mate

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DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

danielnewmanUV Yeah, I hear you, mate - I've been blown away by people online only to be disappoined offline (and vice versa). Then again, that's the nature of the beast as you get to know someone more anyhoo, so maybe we shouldn't be surprised? ;-)

Looking forward to reading your post, mate, always good dtuff over at your place. Cheers!

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LauLau81 131 pts

Thank you for this great article. For me my family is my rock. They are the ones that keeps me strong and believes in me.

Charlotte74 74 pts

My rock is my husband. I always look at what we've achieved in our business and think that there is no way we would have achieved half as much if it were not for the support of the other.

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DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

Charlotte74 Hi there Charlotte,

Great to hear - we always see so many examples of marriages and partnerships gone wrong, it's great to see when they work well and more. Thank you!

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bdorman264 1944 pts

Good point and because social allows us to see some of these people essentially every day; it appears easier to build this community. However, we do not need to take for granted the people who really have our backs; and yes, I can always do better in keeping that strong.

Thanks for the reminder.

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

bdorman264 Hey there Bill,

I guess it's like anything - offline friendships, old school friends, colleagues from first jobs, etc. We only keep strong what we work at - everything else tends to suffer.

Cheers, sir!

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DustBunnyMafia 55 pts

This is a good article, these founders are often overlooked, much like the foundations of buildings. Normally, when I see a building, it stands out for a particular reason, the architectural features, the colors, etc, but hardly do I notice the foundation of a building and admire it (partially because it's not seen), but without the proper foundation, it would not be standing.

What would you recommend for practical ways to thank those people, other than in person?

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DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

DustBunnyMafia Hi Bret,

Are you referring to the architects that designed the building, or the folks who built it (or both)? If so, perhaps you could take pictures from different angles and times of day, and build a montage around them? Then send that to the people that made the building come to life?

That could be one approach.

Cheers!

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markaylward 25 pts

Hey Danny

You are a lucky man. I have raised my three awesome kids alone (that's a really long and actually fascinating story...). I should rephrase that...I have raised them as a single father. My family and friends are my rock(s). I think we all find ourselves in unique situations with regard to support and the choice is whether we appreciate, reciprocate and take personal responsibility for our own happiness. I guess that makes me a lucky man too! See how that works:)

Cheers

Mark

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

markaylward Hey there mate,

Wow, sounds like you have quite the tale to tell, mate, and kudos to you for doing so. As a father myself, I can only imagine what it would be like raising my son on my own - never mind three!

Here's to sitting down and chatting over a beer sometime, fella. :)

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Marcus_Sheridan 604 pts

Loved this Danny. And loved hearing about your wife. Sounds like on heck of a lady...and her mom too. I think for many of us bloggers, there is a pillar of strength standing in the shadows, always there to help when we fall or have those days of doubts.

Thanks bud,

Marcus

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

Marcus_Sheridan Cheers, mate.

Families are so important. When I think of you, for example, I can't help but think of the awesome images from Flickr, or the cool video you shared of your family. To me, that says more about a person than almost anything else.

Here's to rocks and foundations, mate. :)

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NancyD68 685 pts

I am everyone else's rock. :) I have a few online friends who show me some love and concern, but I guess because of being burned so badly by past relationships, I have become my own rock. Some may think that is sad, but in my own way, I think it is good.

I was too weak before and relied on others too heavily. Now it seems the pendulum may have swung too far in the other direction but that's alright.

Many of my friends on Facebook know what is going on with me, and all I can do is keep pushing forward and hope everything works out for the best.

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

NancyD68 You know, often being your own rock is exactly what you need, miss. There's nothing "sad" or "wrong" with that - nothing at all. After all, we learn best when we know what we like ourselves - without that, how would we recognize external rocks? ;-)

Here's to you, miss!

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penneyfox 72 pts

NancyD68 I couldn't agree with you more! Being a single mom and owner of my own business for almost 14 years, it feels like there are times when you have to become your own rock. I don't see it as sad but it's a sign of strength and courage.

One of the things that I learned this year was how to create my own support network. Sometimes they're friends, neighbors or people who've become close with because of working together. But in the end, its just me and I've come to believe that there are times when I'm enough.

I'm going to stand next to you NancyD68 and be my own rock too :)

Leon 151 pts

G'Day Danny,

Happy Thanksgiving: from one Celt to another. Couldn't agree more. For years I've had adifficulty with those self development gurus and web marketers who tell us that we're in control and can "do anything we want."

The same applies in the workplace. We can't succeed at work without very considerable support from others. The cult of individual development is seriously flawed. The team, not the individual is the basic human unit in the workplace.

And it's a lot more fun than "going it alone."

Regards

Leon

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

Leon Hey there mate,

I hear you. The number of managers I've worked for (or come into contact with) that have thought they're the be all and end all of a company's success. Riiiight.... yet they don't take the same credit when results are crap... ;-)

Hope you had a great weekend, mate!

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OpEdMarketing 46 pts

Hey Danny

This could easily be a post by Robert (that's me), as my wife and her family are simply fantastic. Cheers to the rocks in our life, and the rocks in our glasses of scotch, lol.

DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

OpEdMarketing I'll drink to that, mate. Now, we need to take that offline, too. ;-)

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Lori 1878 pts

Hi Danny,

I'm shaking my head right now in disbelief! (and patting myself on the back at least a little) Do great minds think alike? I'd like to think so. I'll be clicking "Publish" in about an hour and you'll understand my ramblings. What were you doing inside my head? LOL

Lori

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DannyBrown 2790 pts moderator

Lori Haha, after reading your post, I know what you mean. So, who gets credit and all the fame that goes with it? ;-)

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  1. [...] Rocks, Foundations and Immediate Communities @DannyBrown Online communities like Twitter and Facebook offer us a chance to connect with and support others. But do we offer our offline communities the same attention? Source: dannybrown.me [...]

  2. [...] celebrate. That is what families do. As Danny Brown so eloquently wrote this week, my family is my foundation. I’m eternally grateful for them, more than words could ever [...]