Rocks, Foundations and Immediate Communities

November 23, 2011 55 Comments

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Beautiful foundations

One of the things we always talk about in this space we share is support.

How we can encourage our online communities to rise to challenges and how the players on the field encourage others. Yet what are we doing offline with our “immediate communities”?

Are we offering the same support and encouragement to them? Or even thanking them for their support and encouragement to us?

Often we take this support for granted – after all, they’re our friends and family and… well, that’s just what friends and family do, right? We’d do the same for them so there’s no need to recognize it.

But there is.

Every day we get through problems or tough times because of our support networks.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just an email to ask how our day is going, or a helping hand at a challenging time – it’s the presence and thought that offers the actual support, even if we don’t realize it. They’re the rocks and the foundations on which we stand and grow.

My rock is my wife.

She does incredible things every day without realizing she’s doing them. She takes the stress out of my life just by being there, and I probably don’t tell her that enough. If I’m ever backed into a corner and I can only choose one person to have my back, my wife would be it. Every time.

If my wife is my rock, then her mum is the foundation on which she’s built.

There are many mother-in-law stereotype jokes that do the rounds but my wife’s mom couldn’t be farther from them. She was one of the first to be there for my wife and I and she’s never been far from us since then. It’s clear to see where my wife gets her strength and beauty from, both inside and out.

We build online armies every day. Our communities are the rocks and the foundations on which everything stands. We support people we’ve never met (and likely never will) simply because we can.

Yet as strongly as we and they connect, we do so because of the foundations already behind us.

Are you keeping yours strong?

image: zoompict

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Filed Under: Insights Tagged With: foundations, rocks

About Danny

Danny Brown is Chief Technologist at ArCompany and an award-winning marketer and blogger. His blog is recognized as the #1 marketing blog in the world by HubSpot. Danny is also co-author of Influence Marketing: How to Create, Manage and Measure Brand Influencers in Social Media Marketing.

111 comments

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Jayme Soulati

I'm here to say that I searched for a "rock" image on Google for the blog Monday, and "Search Plus Your World" provided me with a litany of my network's "rock" images. So, I clicked on a familiar name and came here.

OK. WOW. #ThatIsAll Pressure's on.

Jayme Soulati

kapil sharma

Wow! WHAT a nice picture i like it.so nice.that show really the beauty of the nature.so nice moment of the day .The sun rising

kapil sharma

Wow! WHAT a nice picture i like it.so nice.that show really the beauty of the nature.so nice moment of the day .The sun rising

DannyBrown

Perfect point, mate. I was working at an organization that called my wife up when I was seriously ill, harassing her for updates. Their creative director also emailed her at 9.30 in the evening for an update, and asked she get back to him before the end of the evening. All this while she was 7 months pregnant... Yeah, I walked from there - no-one treats my loved ones like that. Life's too short - we need to make sure we're spending the hours with those we should be. Cheers, mate, here's to you and yours. :)

Wes Towers@GraphicDesignMelbourne

1 Like

I certainly hope so, mate, I certainly hope so.

One of the reasons I took a step back with my online activities was I wanted to take care more of the people who support me online and among these are my clients. I gave them more of my time so they will know that they are more than just clients, they are people who, I should be thankful for.

And, I never, ever compromise my time with my wife and kids with work. If they need me, I make sure that I am there for them. Because I know that at the end of the day, they are the ones who are there for me.

Thanks for reminding us of taking care of our rocks, our foundations and the communities that immediately surround us, Danny. I know that sometimes it is very easy to take them for granted. :)

Danny Brown moderator

Yeah, I walked from there - no-one treats my loved ones like that. Life's too short - we need to make sure we're spending the hours with those we should be.

Cheers, mate, here's to you and yours. :)

Latest blog post: Book Week at DannyBrown.me - Brand Against the Machine by John Morgan

Wes Towers@GraphicDesignMelbourne

I certainly hope so, mate, I certainly hope so.

Thanks for reminding us of taking care of our rocks, our foundations and the communities that immediately surround us, Danny. I know that sometimes it is very easy to take them for granted. :)

Wes Towers@GraphicDesignMelbourne

I certainly hope so, mate, I certainly hope so. One of the reasons I took a step back with my online activities was I wanted to take care more of the people who support me online and among these are my clients. I gave them more of my time so they will know that they are more than just clients, they are people who, I should be thankful for. And, I never, ever compromise my time with my wife and kids with work. If they need me, I make sure that I am there for them. Because I know that at the end of the day, they are the ones who are there for me. Thanks for reminding us of taking care of our rocks, our foundations and the communities that immediately surround us, Danny. I know that sometimes it is very easy to take them for granted. :)

Justice Wordlaw IV

1 Like

This post really made me realize how much more I appreciate my friends and family offline that really encourage me to do better for myself.

Justice Wordlaw IV

This post really made me realize how much more I appreciate my friends and family offline that really encourage me to do better for myself.

Kristie Nolan

Sounds like on heck of a lady…and her mom too. I have also learned that ultimately, being the rock means lots of things can pile on top of you.

Kristie Nolan

1 Like

Sounds like on heck of a lady…and her mom too. I have also learned that ultimately, being the rock means lots of things can pile on top of you.

Rajka

1 Like

Ditto for my husband. He is only on Linked In and only just beefing his profile up this week. He doesn't care either!

I may create a website for him as he considers consulting... Or mayb not!

Rajka

Ditto for my husband. He is only on Linked In and only just beefing his profile up this week. He doesn't care either!

I may create a website for him as he considers consulting... Or mayb not!

Rajka

Ditto for my husband. He is only on Linked In and only just beefing his profile up this week. He doesn't care either! I may create a website for him as he considers consulting... Or mayb not!

Rajka

Behind him is my mom and sister: my biggest cheerleaders. It has been harder this past two years we have been away to stay in touch. No excuses though!

You switched back to Wordpress comments? I am behind the times!

Danny

Yeah, I love Livefyre, but really missed the CSS styling that Lisa from SceneStealer Graphics did for the comments, to fit in with the style of the blog.

Never say never, but for now back on the old native WordPress comment system. :)

Rajka

Behind him is my mom and sister: my biggest cheerleaders. It has been harder this past two years we have been away to stay in touch. No excuses though!

You switched back to Wordpress comments? I am behind the times!

Rajka

Wow, thanks for the reminder. It is easy to forget your foundation. Like you, it is my spouse. I love bouncing things off of him. Not only is he supportive but adds a different perspective. Thinking about this as we just had a date night last night. Behind him is my mom and sister: my biggest cheerleaders. It has been harder this past two years we have been away to stay in touch. No excuses though! You switched back to Wordpress comments? I am behind the times!

Danny

You know what I love about my wife too, Rajka? The fact that she doesn't care two hoots about social media. Keeps me grounded when she says something like, "Really, what do I care about Google+? Sounds like an electic search car." :) Yeah, I love Livefyre, but really missed the CSS styling that Lisa from SceneStealer Graphics did for the comments, to fit in with the style of the blog. Never say never, but for now back on the old native WordPress comment system. :)

Chris Richards

I'm with Frank - my wife is my rock. She supports most things I do.
Which makes it a problem for me going online because I've never been particularly social in that way. I haven't had to be.
I'm learning though.

Danny

Hey there Chris,

Seems your wife is doing a great job of getting you "out of your shell" too - sounds pretty awesome, sir. Here's to our rocks.

Chris Richards

I'm with Frank - my wife is my rock. She supports most things I do. Which makes it a problem for me going online because I've never been particularly social in that way. I haven't had to be. I'm learning though.

Danny

Hey there Chris, Seems your wife is doing a great job of getting you "out of your shell" too - sounds pretty awesome, sir. Here's to our rocks.

Craig McBreen

Ha ha, yes. And we can also pretend to be tough ;)

Gabrielle

I support my two girls and work hard to show them that what they love to do can be their career one day. My rock is my boyfriend, Bradley. He cheers me on and supports me. I hope to dedicate a book to him one day.

Danny

Hi there Gabrielle,

I think it can definitely be different for parents. They grew up in a generation where computers were big machines that powered space command centers (okay, mine did - yours may be younger!). :)

So the concept of being able to be in business for yourself thanks to online connections, without necessarily having an office or employees, probably seems alien.

Your boyfriend sounds an amazing guy, and I can't think of anything more suited than a book from you - here's to it happening!

Gabrielle

Hi Danny - Thank you for this post. It's as strong as it possibly can be. Both my parents believe in me, but don't exactly believe in entrepreneurship. I believe in myself and others and support them as best as I can with the work that brings meaning to their lives and others. I support my two girls and work hard to show them that what they love to do can be their career one day. My rock is my boyfriend, Bradley. He cheers me on and supports me. I hope to dedicate a book to him one day.

Danny

Hi there Gabrielle, I think it can definitely be different for parents. They grew up in a generation where computers were big machines that powered space command centers (okay, mine did - yours may be younger!). :) So the concept of being able to be in business for yourself thanks to online connections, without necessarily having an office or employees, probably seems alien. Your boyfriend sounds an amazing guy, and I can't think of anything more suited than a book from you - here's to it happening!

Bret Juliano

Sorry, I was giving an example in the first paragraph and then asking an entirely different question in the second.

In other words, what are some practical ways to thank people (supporters, in general other) than in person?

Danny

Hey there Bret,

Sorry - gotcha! I guess it depends, and can be based on the medium.

If it's online, for example, can you write a blog post about them? Make a video for them and share on YouTube? Give them a recommendation on LinkedIn?

If it's offline, how about just a gift, or doing something nice for them with no expectations of reciprocation? Look after their kids while they have a night out?

If you know the people, and you have an idea of their likes or needs, that's a good starting point to thank them with something that's really personal.

Hope that helps!

Bret Juliano

Sorry, I was giving an example in the first paragraph and then asking an entirely different question in the second.

In other words, what are some practical ways to thank people (supporters, in general other) than in person?

Eugene

I can't think of one either Danny. That comment surprised me. Thanks for the reminder. I don't think I show my gratitude enough.

Danny

I think we probably all fall into that trap at some time or another, mate. At least if we can spot it, there's hope for us. :)

Craig McBreen

1 Like

Hey Mr. Brown, A very nice post, indeed. Like you, my wife is my rock. Honestly, without her I wouldn't be where I am today. She has always encouraged me, backed me up and listened to all my ramblings (crap). Also, with my father's failing health, my mom has amazed me with her dedication and strength. We are the weaker sex. ;)

So far I've been lucky online, as I've really only met quality people.

Danny Brown moderator

@Craig McBreen You know, the more I live through life and hear about the amazing women in the lives of my friends, the more I agree with you that we are indeed the weaker sex, mate. Ah well - we'll always have beer and wings. :)

Latest blog post: How to Grow Your Blog By Nurturing Your Community

Craig McBreen

DannyBrown

Craig McBreen

Ha ha, yes. And we can also pretend to be tough ;)

margieclayman

1 Like

Dear Danny,

Whyfore are you bringing tears to my eyes? It is not nice of you.

Really a gorgeous post.

Also, I 100% agree.

Not too long ago, one of my big disenchantments with the online world was that the whole "give to get" maxim seemed to be missing a key part - give. People really tend to bumble around with this concept online (and most likely in the real world, too). There are people who will promote a post of mine on Twitter and literally five seconds later I'll get a DM from them, "Hey, check out this post I wrote!" Not very subtle, that approach.

I do my best to keep in touch with everybody. It's not hard for me because I strive to build real connections with people (often at my peril). I have had some tough knocks as a result, and that's probably good. I have also learned that ultimately, being the rock means lots of things can pile on top of you. You learn to appreciate those little nods and words of kindness a lot more when you are trying to help others bear their burdens.

Great post.

Latest blog post: Dear Introverts (and Extraverts): This book is for you

Danny Brown moderator

@margieclayman Ha, I just saw your tweet - am I really that mean? ;-)

That's pretty damn cheeky of folks that seem to share just to get a reciprocation - I wonder if they're that way in life, too? I'm guessing so.

The great thing with knocks is that they only make us stronger (if they don't kill us, as the saying goes). And the stronger we get, the less we see knocks as knocks, and more as opportunities to grow.

Here's to your continued growth over knocks, miss.

Even though you did call me a meanie... ;-)

Latest blog post: How to Grow Your Blog By Nurturing Your Community

margieclayman

1 Like

@Danny Brown I'm playing opposites today. You're mean and Lisa Petrilli is a liar :D

The only person I genuinely call a meanie is Dan Perez, and that's only cuz he takes pride in it. That's fodder for a different post altogether!

You can write it ;)

Knocks in the online world are good, I think. They knock your rose-tinted glasses off. They make you smarter. It's like my grad school days when I had to choose between hot dogs or the buns because I couldn't afford both - these are the experiences that mold us. Or make us moldy. One of those.

Latest blog post: Be Your Own Clarence

margieclayman

Dear Danny, Whyfore are you bringing tears to my eyes? It is not nice of you. Really a gorgeous post. Also, I 100% agree. Not too long ago, one of my big disenchantments with the online world was that the whole "give to get" maxim seemed to be missing a key part - give. People really tend to bumble around with this concept online (and most likely in the real world, too). There are people who will promote a post of mine on Twitter and literally five seconds later I'll get a DM from them, "Hey, check out this post I wrote!" Not very subtle, that approach. I do my best to keep in touch with everybody. It's not hard for me because I strive to build real connections with people (often at my peril). I have had some tough knocks as a result, and that's probably good. I have also learned that ultimately, being the rock means lots of things can pile on top of you. You learn to appreciate those little nods and words of kindness a lot more when you are trying to help others bear their burdens. Great post.

DannyBrown

@margieclayman Ha, I just saw your tweet - am I really that mean? ;-) That's pretty damn cheeky of folks that seem to share just to get a reciprocation - I wonder if they're that way in life, too? I'm guessing so. The great thing with knocks is that they only make us stronger (if they don't kill us, as the saying goes). And the stronger we get, the less we see knocks as knocks, and more as opportunities to grow. Here's to your continued growth over knocks, miss. Even though you did call me a meanie... ;-)

margieclayman

@DannyBrown I'm playing opposites today. You're mean and Lisa Petrilli is a liar :D The only person I genuinely call a meanie is Dan Perez, and that's only cuz he takes pride in it. That's fodder for a different post altogether! You can write it ;) Knocks in the online world are good, I think. They knock your rose-tinted glasses off. They make you smarter. It's like my grad school days when I had to choose between hot dogs or the buns because I couldn't afford both - these are the experiences that mold us. Or make us moldy. One of those.

danielnewmanUV

1 Like

Hey @dannybrown Danny - Great article. This has to do with authenticity as well. I meet so many people that are so busy being great online that I can only wonder if they are this way offline.

The people that we physically interact with everyday should be the center of our world. Some may come from online relationships, but many will not.

It is our friends, family, and others...

On Friday I wrote this blog http://millennialceo.com/thoughts-4-friday/thoughts-4-friday-find-happiness/

called find happiness. I rarely promote my own stuff in a comment, but I thought you may enjoy a look.

While the premise is a bit different than yours, I challenge people to consider that real happiness isn't going to come from things. It comes from love and self actualization.

That is what you did here in this post and it may be your best one yet!

Cheers Mate

Latest blog post: Leaders: Give Credit Not Blame

Danny Brown moderator

@danielnewmanUV Yeah, I hear you, mate - I've been blown away by people online only to be disappoined offline (and vice versa). Then again, that's the nature of the beast as you get to know someone more anyhoo, so maybe we shouldn't be surprised? ;-)

Looking forward to reading your post, mate, always good dtuff over at your place. Cheers!

Latest blog post: How to Grow Your Blog By Nurturing Your Community

Trackbacks

Rocks, Foundations and Immediate Communities says:

November 24, 2011 at 9:33 am

[...] Rocks, Foundations and Immediate Communities @DannyBrown Online communities like Twitter and Facebook offer us a chance to connect with and support others. But do we offer our offline communities the same attention? Source: dannybrown.me [...]
Thoughts 4 Friday - What Are You Grateful For? - Millennial CEO | Millennial CEO says:

December 2, 2011 at 9:52 am

[...] celebrate. That is what families do. As Danny Brown so eloquently wrote this week, my family is my foundation. I’m eternally grateful for them, more than words could ever [...]

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