Sometimes, through anger, we see our own frailties. Or maybe not frailties – but definitely nuances that could be shared better.
The last few days has taught me that, as I’ve been pretty angry on this blog. Although, to be honest, I don’t see it as much anger as it is passion.
I’m passionate about how business should be run; how people should be treated; how ideas should be received. But that passion can sometimes blinker my view, and that can then be mistaken (rightly or wrongly) for anger.
But… passion and anger can tread a very fine line with each other, and that then leads to possibly hurting others. Which goes against everything I believe in to start with.
Today, a couple of posts made me realize that my passion may have overstepped the line and molded into anger instead.
Critic or Caustic
Someone I admire a lot is Jennifer Fong, and she posted her take on my recent post about bloggers not being able to stand the heat. In Jen’s post, she recalls the sage words that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.
While I might not agree with that completely – sometimes we have to say things that won’t be liked – Jen makes a great point about how these things could be said. Part of Jen’s post that stood out to me was this statement:
I think we sometimes forget that whether you’re an A-lister or a D-lister, we’re all still people. People with feelings.
If I’ve written something that resulted in someone like Jen writing something like that, that makes me stop and think on how I’ve portrayed something.
The other post was from Chris Brogan, who responded to some criticism he’s had in the last few days (one of which came from my blogger and heat post). Chris makes some valid points about criticism, and why some matters and some doesn’t. But what stood out for me from Chris’s post was this comment from his wife, Kat:
In the end guys, it’s just a job. We all go home at the end of the day. We hold our kids and/or our partner and smile and relax. It reminds us why we work hard and why it matters.
There’s more to Kat’s comment, but that part stopped me dead. Because I’m a father, and a husband, and it made me remember a simple thing.
Everyone is Someone’s Child
Or father. Or husband. Or wife, or daughter, or son. And sometimes we forget that. When we criticize, we forget that it’s not just the person we’re criticizing, but everyone around them.
Sure, a blogger has their community to rally around them when the shit hits the fan, and that’s great – that’s what a great blog should have. That tells you you’re doing it right.
But behind the scenes, a wife or a little kid is watching their loved one take heat. It may well be justified heat, but how it’s given can mean the difference between, “Oh, another one of your readers complaining – ah well” to actually upsetting the people behind the blogger. And that’s wrong.
Like I say. I’m a passionate person, and I can’t – won’t – change that. It’s how I was brought up, and it’s how I (mostly) am away from here. If I see something – or someone – I disagree with, I’ll continue to offer an opposing view, and the reasons why. Any other approach would be cheating both myself and you.
But how I share my opposition?
I’ll be remembering that everyone is someone’s child. And I’ll be trying not to upset the parent from now on. If I slip up, feel free to be the first to remind me of this post.